And when they do have a mental illness, it results in charmingly wacky behavior.
All bad guys part time as stunt car drivers.
A gunshot would can propel a victim three feet backward, while leaving the actual gunman unmoved.
Especially when the woman has a makeover, which consists of taking off her glasses and putting on a non-baggy dress.
All urban legends are false except for in one particular case.
DNA testing is free, 100% reliable, takes about 5 minutes or less, and can be made from any place a person has ever gone.
Horses will willingly charge into any hazardous obstacle.
When you have to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk.
Disaster movies have taught me that:
The pivotal government official will be a hands on action guy (almost always a guy) who will jump out of helicopters to rescue people.
The person (government official or business leader) who attempts to prevent, or interferes with warnings or evacuations will likely die when the disaster does strike.
No matter how rare or unlikely a particular disaster is, the government (or sometimes a business) will just happen to have extra space shuttles, nukes, lasers, or untested experimental equipment lying around that will save the day.
Even in the era of 24 hour news networks and Twitter, the government will get to the scene of a foreshadowing disaster first and manage to keep it quite, at least for a while until they come up with a cover story.
A regular Joe will be right, while the scientist with years of education & experience will be wrong.
Outside of the coasts and a few big cities, America is still mired in the Great Depression, with endless barren vistas, unadorned interiors, unadorned women in plain house frocks, and few economic activities other than subsistence agriculture and crime.
Everyone is the suburbs is obsessed with cheating on their spouse.
In the future, everyone will wear jumpsuits.
In space, everyone will wear jumpsuits.
On other planets, everyone will wear jumpsuits.
The chunky, unemployed, binge-drinking, bed-wetting, chronically masturbating (but always hip to great music and literature, and always really, really funny) best friend of the leading man in any romantic comedy will eventually hook up with the super hott, incredibly wealthy and successful best friend of the leading woman, even though they have despised each other since the moment their respective friends first hooked up.
Also, all best friends talk to each other about masturbation, a LOT, in bars, department stores, on the phone, at the chapel where the wedding is being held in 15 minutes…
Most gay guys are thin, cultured, love to decorate, and can name more fashion designers than most people can name U.S. presidents.
People of average means can find affordable Manhattan lofts with skylights and terraces if they just look hard enough.
If a bunch of lovable, unathletic losers challenge a well-trained sports team, bet against the losers the first time they meet, but bet on the losers the second time when the odds are better.
R.I.P. Lefty You [will be] missed.
Also, lawyers:
(1) commonly spend their days rushing back and forth to their clients’ houses, places of business, and crime scenes, (interspersed with luxurious lunches at 5-star resaurants);
(2) only ever have to work on one case at a time (two, if subplot);
(3) only have one court appearance every month or so, for which they may prepare at their leisure; and
(4) is either (a) a lovable but scatterbrained eccentric genius who somehow manages to evade bankruptcy at the hands of malpractice claims, or (b) pure unmitigated evil to the very core.
In space, no one can hear you meme.
Attractive young women never suffer serious wounds on exposed skin. We really need to field an armed force of attractive naked women to take advantage of this phenomenon. They’ll be able to charge through machine gun fire to victory with no more than a few bruises!
Stay at home moms make multi-course breakfasts for their families each and every morning consisting of coffee, milk, assorted juices, toast, assorted pastries, pancakes, eggs, etc. only to have the husband and kids rush by saying “I’m in a hurry” taking one bite or one sip. They do it out of love.
Jumping several stories onto concrete or asphalt- whether a freeway overpass or from a window or the top of a building is so dangerous that it can make you limp for the rest of the day.
When teenagers make exasperated disgusted sounding smartass retorts to their parents, the parents usually take it on the chin and don’t respond save with a frustrated sigh. They never chew their asses out and make them apologize.
if a girl ever tells you she loves you, your answer should be “i know”
And, if human or human-analogue, they all have perfect teeth.
If you’ve been knocked out, you’ll recover a few hours later with no cerebral damage whatsoever.
Likewise, you can knock out pretty much anyone simply by bonking them on the head (but not drawing blood) with whatever random object happens to be handy.
The skeptic in a supernatural themed movie will be the first to die.