Trump is dying

Same here. Mods need to step in. Again.

Forget it Jake Thel. It’s the Pit.

You know what? I think this later digression will prove fortuitous. But I can’t (or rather won’t) say why.

Anyway, here’s hoping for a brighter tomorrow.

I already gave up after trying twice.

Well, Trump is one day closer to death than he was yesterday.

It’s unleavened.

I have to agree with Sam K.: a ladder and a pair of pliars could have ended the story differently. Oh well.

Perhaps rather than responding to a troll, we think about happier thoughts. How exactly will the grim reaper take him out? I think cardiac arrest is most likely, given his obesity, atrocious diet, and sedentary lifestyle. He might do an Elvis and strain himself on the toilet too hard or do a Rockefeller and die in action, so to speak. Next likely I have stroke- he might get so worked up over a perceived insult that he pops a gasket in his cranium. Next could be pneumonia, he might have enough lung damage from covid to make them less resistant to disease. Next I’d have Alzheimer’s, though unfortunately that will take a few years at least.

Falling down the stairs.

Down an escalator would be a better bookend.

Trump, the human Slinky: Totally useless but fun to watch tumble down a flight of stairs.

I think he’ll just expire in the middle of the night one night. No one will even realize it until late the next day when the White House is too quiet and someone goes to check on him. Total obscurity, no glorious final moment on camera. Just a slightly smellier and much more charming version of Trump laying in an otherwise empty bed.

I imagine he’s in the middle of a live televised speech on stage, where he’s screaming some bigotry, then all of a sudden his eyes get big, he gags, you hear a VERY loud shart audible through the microphone, and he falls down, twitching like a poisoned cockroach as Secret Service folk rush the stage.

An inelegant, humiliating, very public death that ends up being everyone’s final memory of him. No way to properly martyr him from it.

That one seems unlikely to me, both because Melania doesn’t need to sleep with him any more, and also because as an unhealthy 80 year old, he probably suffers from erectile dysfunction.

Gee, with a little work this could be set to music, a tune like a 12 Days of Christmas…

Why can’t it be both? Tumble endlessly down the up escalator like a perpetual slinky.

Springtime For Hitler!

Ah yes, the George VI method. Quite possible.

Like everything else in life, he will likely die the easy, rich, comfortable way. He will probably die of natural causes, surrounded by sycophants telling him he was the best, the greatest. The medical team will be carefully alleviating all suffering. Suffering is for us commoners. His last moment of consciousness will be him thinking, yes, this is how a misunderstood, unjustly-treated, great, wonderful hero dies.

Eh. He does one of those blankouts in the middle of a meeting but just doesn’t come out of it. Someone nudges him to wake him up and he just topples onto the tabletop.

“We estimate he may have passed at some point during Mr. Bessent’s presentation. But we all thought that was boring AF anyway so nothing seemed out of place .”