It’s gotta be something like this. His support has completely collapsed, so he can’t face another blow to his ego. I bet he finally tries to start a media company.
It portrays him as a superhero, so its obviously something self centered. I’m guessing that he is launching some sort of new intiative or SuperPac to solve all of Americas problems and he needs donations to make his vision a reality.
So in other words a new coat of paint on the same old grift.
“I’ve just discovered that I’ve been treated worse than anyone in history, nobody has had an election stolen from them worse than mine, even though you can say “Merry Christmas” now again, lots of people didn’t know that, that I saved Christmas, and Halloween too, and those little chocolate bars the kids love so much, but I always gave out the full-sized bars, well, not gave out, I bought them, but then I decided the people you see out there didn’t deserve them, it’s so unfair, why does everyone always expect so much from me, but I’m too smart to fall for that, because I’ve got those good genes from my uncle, well, that’s what they say anyways, they say, “Sir, how did you even get genes from your uncle?”, because no one understand heredity better than me, which is how I knew COVID wasn’t a big deal, not like it’s cousin influenza, “The kissing disease”, you know that’s where they got the expression “Kissing cousins” from, not many people knew that until I told them.”
A secret lab has been manufacturing the super soldier serum based on the formula in one of the formerly top secret files he made his personal documents and he’s now ready to inject it having been out of the media, except as a target, for days and days.
Nijaed! But I like mine better so still posting it.
Well, since this is only speculation with nothing to really go on, I’m going to lean into the superhero thing hard:
-announcer voice-
“Here he is, the last American SuperHero of our Times! He makes America Great! He supports your Personal Freedom to do whatever you want! He puts a gun and a bible in the hand of every conservative while the commies grind their teeth in hate! It’s MAGAMAN!!!”
“In our last thrilling episode, MAGAMAN was laid low by the evil forces of Commiestan, aided by the Betrayal of his former sidekick PenceCoffeeBoy! But now he’s back, building for the inevitable triumph against the forcers of DARKBRANDON. But others seek to take what is rightfully his, such as former hero turned villain DESCANCTAMONIUS! MAGAMAN will need the help of all god-fearing Americans, and a new PARTNER to fight the forces of Evil!”
“MAGAMAN is announcing tryouts for all who wish to reach fame and glory as the next Sidekick of America’s greatest hero! But he Can’t Do It Without You! For a small donation of $29.99 (monthly) you can let your hero know who is the best sidekick Ever! We’re Standing by to hear from you, and MAGAMAN wants to know!”
“Will it be - PILLOWFACE MYPILLOW MAN??? EMPTY-MIND-AGIRL? SQUIRE YE-EETSALOT? CRUZLESIMPSKIN? Remember only your love, affection, and donations will allow our Hero to take back what was Stolen from Him, and only You can help select the next sidekick for our Greatest American Hero!”
All joking aside, it’ll probably be this pattern, openly telling the fans that he’s back and better than ever, that Pence is dead to him, that DeSantis better not betray him, and that he’s waiting to here from all the candidates for the next generation VP suckup to start making themselves pretty for Trump.
Yes, and I know YE isn’t in good graces anymore but I wanted the Yeet joke.
But, but, but the 15th is already tomorrow! How did MAGAMAN (hey, ParallelLines, that is good, I will steal it) do it so quickly! My, he got us all unprepared! Let us all bow to MAGAMAN!
Or, in my alternative universe:
He will anounce that he is building the best five star prison ever, better even than Pablo Escobar’s, and he will personally test it for the next 120 years if SCOTUS does not stop the witch hunt. So: donate, donate, don, Don, DON, DON-ate!