“The President”
You know… for all those second-amendment types.
That’s Colonel Chinstrap to you (a shout out to all Goon Show fans everywhere).
Silvio - it has the advantage that he will take it as a compliment.
Putinovna - he’ll never know what it means.
Stubby Pumpkin.
They can play games after hours trying to say it with their mouths full of marshmallows.
No, wait, I want to change my vote.
Barnum. He’s the ultimate huckster, and “A sucker born every minute” sums up his perspective perfectly.
Winner
That’s every President. It’s kind of tautological.
I would have described it as a portmanteau of “tycoon” and “buffoon.”
It’s the tone of voice that makes it work.
So then,
Underdog Winner.
He’s gonna want “T-Bone,” but they’ll end up going with “Ko-Ko.”
Fired. Just so someone can tell him “You’re Fired.”
thankGod - because it’s not Hillary, who is known for verbally and viciously denigrating and dressing down any of the help if they’ve done something that displeases her. So they’re grateful it’s not her.
But Agent Orange served in Vietnam.
Wait until they find out Trump doesn’t plan on paying them.
Lame.
The truth hurts. Sad.
To be precise, Col. Chinstrap was a character in ITMA even longer ago (he didn’t mind if he did). You’re thinking of Major Bloodnok, but if one goes to the Goon Show for a name, how about Eccles?
Cold-star since clearly Hell has frozen over. 
ego
(or eggo don’t really care which.)