McDonald’s- Come here or your kids will never shut up.
Prozac- Your life will still suck but you won’t mind so much.
Blockbuster: We’ve forced the independents out of business.
Keystone beer: Hey, at least it’s not Natty Light.
Burger King: Artificial-flavoring engineers have been working for years to distill that “back porch” flavor. Come try it today!
McDonald’s: We know you’re just here for the fries.
IHOP: Where else will you go when you’re drunk at three in the morning?
Subway: Because no other fast food can convince you it’s healthy.
Viagra - Come on, you need this to get it up.
Viagra - You know your wife isn’t sexy enough to arouse you.
Smirnoff Ice - You’ll attract better looking sluts drinking our product.
Any tobacco product - It’s only old people that die from cancer, your still young.
Popeil Rotisserie Oven - The food tastes great but it is a real pain in the ass to clean.
Toyota now has a car named Voxy. Which of course sounds the same as “boxy” to the Japanese.
<Giggle> <snort> <choke> <sputter>
Bwaaaa-haa-haaaa!!!
Thanks for wrecking my keyboard. 
Columbia House: You know we’re gonna keep mailing you these offers until you cave. You might as well just start sending us our monthly check, again, right now.
Camel Cigarettes: We put a picture of manufacturing plant right on the box.
Cascade: Tastes like dog piss, doesn’t it.
Banks (any bank, but especially Fascist Pig Bank aka. the Commonwealth Bank): Fees. Don’t like 'em. Where else are you going to go?
AOL: We suck bigger than Microsoft.
Channel 7: We send all of our stuff down from Sydney so fuck you Melbourne.
Mc Donalds: Happy Meal ? Crappy Meal ?
Budweiser: The beer for people who don’t like the taste of beer.
Wild Irish Rose: Proudly serving rotgut to bums since 1943!