So, my friend and I were talking about some short conceptual films called “Jarbaby Bathes In” where in we film and take photography of me bathing in my favorite foods.
And the subject of Tabasco came up.
Qadgop? Skin specialists? Other docs?
what would happen to a naked hoo ha submerged in Tabasco? Should I not do it?
jar
Well, I’ve heard of “hot, wet pussy” but that’s ridiculous.
[sub]I can’t believe I just said that, either.[/sub]
I think I speak for all of us, Jarbaby when I say that we want to see the resultant pictures.
Well it’s not like it would be naked. I would be SUBMERGED in tabasco. You’d just see my face and shoulders and such.
jar
IANADoctor, but think about it…you get the sensation of intense heat when the mucous membrane of your mouth is exposed to Tabasco. I don’t think you really want a Tabasco’ed hoo-ha.
That’d hurt. Really badly.
Unless you could guarantee that the Tabasco would not get ahem inside you, I wouldn’t risk it. It’s all vinegar and pepper. The fumes might even be rough on the eyes.
But to ME, Tabasco really ain’t that hot. And are we talking about a temporary sting or permanent membrane damage?
because I’ll put up with a little pain. I can always bathe in milk afterwards.
jjar
Bad Google, Bad Bad Google!
Making me open up this link, which deals with the effects of various substances (including Tabasco) on hoo-has, at work.
Up to you, of course, but the ol’ hoo-ha membranes aren’t used to such things (and if they are, please don’t tell me). I wouldn’t risk it, myself, because I suspect we’re talking about more than a temporary sting. Or more accurately, that it may be temporary, but considerably more than a sting.
my favorite line from that link is this:
Sorry master, my clit’s on fire! I’m going to sit this one out.
jar
Do you want that Tabasco Pasteurized?
Since it’s anyway for a film, and not performance art, couldn’t you just substitute a non-fiery tabasco-double? Or would that ruin the artistic integrity? Or the fun?
Well that’s what I’m thinking now. I mean, if the rice pudding’s going to be authentic, the Tabasco should be, too…but if it’s going to damage, I suppose we could use
a) diluted Tabasco
or
b) ‘stage’ tabasco
j
You can always do a functional test. Apply a small amount to the ol’ Hoo Ha with q-tip or finger and wait for the reaction. May want to check with Hoo Ha’s closest neighbor too.
Get a small bottle of it, give a few shakes down yonder and see iffen it makes ya holler. If ya do, don’t try a tub of it.
Personally, I’d think tomato juice would be better for you, and would look just as good if you watered it down a tad.
it’s gonna be a GREAT WEEKEND!
Something else to consider, cost.
Let’s do the math (No, I will not provide cites. Believe or perish).
Average volume of a full bath tub: 40-60 gallons, or 160-240 quarts.
Average volume of a human body: roughly 2.8 cubic feet or around 80 quarts.
Let our friend subtraction have a whack at this and we are left with jarbaby needing about 80 quarts of tabasco (minimum).
Netgrocer.com currently sells the stuff for $1.29 for 2 oz. or about $20.64 per quart.
This means this photo and potential hoo-ha hell will cost $1,651.20.
I think jarbaby better consider a grant from the Chubb foundation for this one.
Jarbaby,
If my figures add up, you'll have to find(pilfer) approximately 13.62billion bottles of tabasco to do this.
You’ll single-handedly cause a shortage of those little peppers and vinegar…It’ll be ANARCHY!!![sub]save me one, please.[/sub]
Before you let the tobasco get near your hoo-ha, perhaps you should ask some of the men around here what it was like to chop peppers then go to the bathroom. I’ve seen that mentioned around here before. And women’s internal tissue is a lot more delicate than men’s external tissue.
I have heard of one woman who got blisters in her mouth from eating the local food in India. I don’t remember how reliable the source was, but take that as a caution.
Not only will you have to round up all those billions of little bottles, but have you noticed that the stuff only comes out a drop at a time? It’ll take you years, YEARS I TELL YOU, to fill the tub up.
And I was seriously thinking of making red beans and rice for dinner tonight, with Tabasco as the natural condiment. This has either sealed the deal or I’ll find myself looking to see that short and curlies aren’t floating around in my jar of Tabasco.
Perhaps, but have you calculated what the resale value of the Tabasco would be? I wager that many a Doper would shell out several month’s rent for some. I could be wrong…