You know, dear, we really need to discuss our relationship. Yes, now. No, it can’t wait until the football game is over.
Well, I think I’m about due for my period. I’m cranky as hell, cramps, bloating, diahrhea, or however you spell it.
I also have a fancy for picking my nose and wiping it on the carpet.
Oh, and wanna smell my socks? They’re REALLY RANK! It’s so gross!
You have GOT to see my new hemmorrhoid— it’s a doozy!