I wonder if there’s a Hallmark card with that sentiment?
I really need that.
You owe her an answer (if she insists on one), but you do not owe her a justification for it.
mmm
Make a donation to Planned Parenthood in her name.
Stranger
I don’t think they owe her an answer.
I’d argue Miss Manners over this.
If it was their daughter, yeah “Honey, I’m your parent and no I will not pay for this because it’s a bad idea.”
But “Second cousin-once-removed I ain’t paying for your baby-or-not, so go away!”
Not necessary.
Just don’t donate. Stop worrying about it.
Tell her IVF causes autism.
“is this really how babby made?”
“Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Oh wait, you’re serious? No.”
Do you normally give this person birthday/Christmas gifts? If not, I wouldn’t say anything - if some family member of mine starts a Go Fund Me for something I don’t want to contribute to, I just scroll on by and say nothing. I would probably do that even if I did normally give them gifts.
* For whatever reason - maybe my second cousin wants some medical treatment that insurance doesn’t cover because it’s ineffective. Maybe it’s another (wealthier than I ) second cousin whose son was in the hospital for a couple of weeks with the flu, who is now trying to raise money for bucket list experiences
For the child of a cousin? I’d go to a Hallmark store and get a selection of Christmas/Birthday/Thanksgiving/Halloween/Passover/Thinking of You/Bat Mitzvah cards and send those to her.
Tell her you’re willing to donate $10 for condoms to cover the test tubes. (I will concede that I’m not too clear on the technical details of IVF treatment.)
There was a House episode where it turned out that it wasn’t Lupus. The woman was getting sick because she was getting IVF hormonal treatment and also taking contraceptive pills. She desperately didn’t want another kid, but thought her husband might leave her if she told him.
I’m the same way.
Lately the Facebook groups I belong to have a bunch of people wanting money for their dog or cat’s vet bills.
Sorry–I ain’t helping.
honest Q:
when has “begging for non-emergencies” become socially acceptable?
that seems to have become more-and-more a thing over the past 5 or so years, or am I wrong?
practical answer: +1 ignore request, if pressed for an answer “husband and I decided not to, thx for your understanding”
Well, glad you all seem to agree the new baby is a really bad idea. And, luckily for non-confrontational me, the overwhelming view is to either say ‘no’ w/o anything further, or simply continue to say nothing at all. I think I can handle that, unless she manages to buttonhole me in the flesh at some party or such.
Unfortunately the season for family get-togethers are closing in. 
Since it has become lucrative. Lots easier to beg over social media than knock on the door with your hand out.
I forget where I encountered it in the last few days, but somebody had set up a gofundme for something kinda worthy, but still for their personal benefit, hoping to raise 50K. They ended up with 500K.
It sure has. And so many I’ve seen are utter bullshit and fake.
Learn from a professional: “Towel!”
Stranger
I agree ignoring it is the best option here, but it she asks you can say, “Sorry, it’s not in the budget.”
She doesn’t need to know what is in the budget. Just that her IVF is not a part of it.
I can’t do it. I could never forgive myself if I helped you do what you are planning and it turned out that it made your life worse.
OTOH, sometimes its fun to throw gasoline on a dumpster fire. Even better if you can sell tickets and popcorn.