Is it really true what most men say, men will have sex with any willing female? My girlfriend has this crush on this guy we both know, and pretty much let him know she was willing, but he has not acted on this. Now she thinks she is unattractive; shes not, maybe a bit shy.
People tell me(straight) men will not refuse sex with a woman.
True?
False.
False
Only if the girl is ugly.
False, absurdly false. Think of all the reasons a woman might turn down sex with someone she finds attractive - with the notable exception of a fear of pregnancy, dudes will all feel them to greater or lesser extents as well, at one time or another.
Men will turn down sex for all manner of reasons which have nothing to do with whether or not they find a woman attractive. Some of these reasons include:
- he’s actually homosexual.
- he’s in a monogamous relationship.
- he doesn’t have casual sex.
- he’s not interested in sex with anyone at that moment.
- he doesn’t have a private place to have sex with her.
- he finds the risks/downside of sex outweighs her attractiveness.
- he can’t offer her anything BUT sex and feels that’s disrespectful or immoral.
- he follows a religion which forbids sex outside of marriage.
- he thinks she’s plenty attractive, but her insecurity is a big turn off.
- he thinks she’s plenty attractive, but his feelings for her are not romantic or sexual.
- he’s getting over a breakup and doesn’t want her to be the rebound.
- he has a sexually transmittable disease and is still dealing with that/doesn’t want to put her at risk.
- he’s a sadistic bastard and is playing with her emotions for shits and giggles.
- he has erectile dysfunction and isn’t interested in sharing about it.
- he has a terrible war injury and is no longer a whole man.
Speculation at this point is silly and counterproductive. There is no graceful way for a man to tell a woman why he doesn’t want to have sex with her. There is nothing he can do to make her feel more attractive if she’s already neurotic about him not having sex with her. If she obsesses about it, tell her the last option and insist that she never bring it up again, because the poor man lives a life of unremitting pain.
^^
False. I wouldn’t have sex with most women.
“pretty much let him know she was willing”
What does this mean? What one person thinks is a big clue is just background noise to another person, especially if the woman is the signal giver and the man the signal receiver.
Even if he saw the signal, I can’t be the only man who has noticed a sign of interest and thought to himself “Nah, I’m seeing things” or takes some time getting to know someone before taking the plunge or doesn’t end up doing it and not for a lack of interest.
Unless she pretty much unzipped his pants and tried to get busy down there before getting rebuffed, it doesn’t constitute “turning down sex” on the guy’s part. Whatever she thought she pretty much did it’s apparently not going to get the job done in this particular situation, so she might need to get a little more agressive.
Some men will, of course, but not most men.
Quit moving the goalposts! I wasn’t done microwaving this female octopus to see if she’d be more appealing if warmed up a bit.
Like others have said, one person’s obvious signal is another persons undectable encrypted message.
And even if he did catch the signal, it could well have taken him off guard. I can attest to having interest in a few women, who I was not sure whether they were that interested in me. Then, eventually, I got a signal I could detect. Even with my heightened state of “gotta get some or die trying” during those times, the shock of actually being able to get some right then right now threw me off balance enough that I did not partake right then and there. But, it did happen within the next few meetings when the timing and mood were a bit more right.
Unless the guy appears to be trying to actively avoid her, she just needs to keep giving out signals, maybe upping the signal strength a bit after each time, and waiting for him to finally respond.
I’m not straight, but there are certainly any number of guys I won’t have sex with. Whether they just aren’t my type for whatever reason (age, size, looks, personality, whatever) or I’m just not in the mood. I tend to believe that men are easy (based on myself and the majority of other men I know), but that’s not to say that we’ll have sex with just anyone.
Of course, he could be the kind of guy that you have to say “I want to have sex with you” to get the point across and then he’d be all over her. But who knows.
I will admit the subset of women called “Women I’d fuck” is quite large. However, it is not all inclusive.
ETA when I am in a relationship it goes down to one. I don’t cheat.
I was once “offered” sex by a woman with whom I would have loved to have sex. Unfortunately I didn’t know about the “offer” until well after the event when it was too late.
Men aren’t into subtle.
False. Absolutely false.
Although I’d bet she just wasn’t as obvious as she thought.
Depends on how much alcohol is involved and how long it’s been.
Yes
And yes.
False. Big time false. Despite what some people think my user name implies, I am an exceptionally difficult person to get in bed. It has little to do with morals because I am iffy on those in general. However, I am extremely picky in lots of different ways, especially looks, and I don’t want the drama or risks from any short-term flings. I don’t hit on women either as a general rule and I am mostly oblivious to so-called signals like many men are. To put it bluntly, there is no way you are ever going to see a picture of me in bed with the vast majority of females our there unless it is part of a Photoshop contest. If I weighed 350 pounds and had a bad case of adult acne, it wouldn’t change that fact. It simply isn’t worth it in my my mind to just start humping any random thing like a pug with epilepsy when the immediate problem can be solved with internet porn and no lasting implications.
I question the girl’s strategy WRT this guy. If I understand the OP correctly, the girl wants the guy to be her boyfriend. Offering sex right off the bat is not a smart way to try to begin a relationship. More likely than not, if the guy took her up on her offer, the guy would view it as a one-night stand or a friends with benefits type of situation.