Assume you are unencumbered with having a signifcant other.
It is Friday night, you have just had after work drinks with your married co workers in a local hotel pub. They have just left and you are finishing off your drink wondering how you are going to spend the weekend.
Then an attractive well known female personality from out of town strikes up a conversation with you at the bar.
You have always respected this woman
You are honored by her attention and fascinated by your conversation with her. This goes on for over an hour.
Then she looks deeply into your eyes and suggests you might want to come up to her room and “see her etchings”.
You now realize however subtley that she wants to do you.
So… I’m single, bored, and an attractive famous woman who I find interesting and can talk to for at least an hour wants to have sex - I think I’m missing something, because why on earth would I not want to go up to her room? Is she not-single?
Make some obvious excuses that signal that it’s not going to happen…
“Actually, I have a bit to finish on this drink. And what you have to say about deep fried turkeys is just fascinating, let’s keep going with this. Can I order you another…”
I’m not going to run off just because someone made a pass at me, but I’m not really interested in women as sex partners. If I feel like she was primarily interested in finding a sex partner that night, I’ll probably find some excuse to leave so that I don’t waste her time. If she persists on hitting on me after I’ve clearly turned her down, I’ll leave. But if it seems like she was really into the conversation and just thought she’d give it a shot, I’ll stick around.
In that case, sure, why wouldn’t I? I mean, I know there are people who don’t like one-night stands, and obviously most straight women aren’t going to be up for it, but you’ve really loaded the scenario in favour of the one-night stand here…
(This poll is better than the last version - yay for not ignoring bisexual women - but the whole pervert option still bothers me. Women taking an active role in looking for sexual partners is not perverted. And why do lesbians and bi women get the option of being totally up for it, while straight women just get to vaguely tingle?)
The last time I posted a poll when it was a man making the overt offer, many women regarded him as a pervert.
Straight women tingle ? I would assume that if a woman identifies herself as straight as opposed to bisexual, she is not going to be able to simply say that she’s totally up for it. Just the idea that a straight woman might tingle at the prospect of have another woman do her takes her well past just saying I’m not interested. Wouldn’t you agree ?
I don’t agree. I’ve seen plenty of straight-identified women (and some straight men) say they’d “be bi for (particular person of same gender here)” only. Sexuality is often a tad more fluid than 3 categories.
I’m bi. I might go to their house, but I’ve never done the whole casual sex/one-nighter thing and can’t imagine that changing. This is a subtle enough demonstration of interest that I would be fairly comfortable going back to her place. Also I’m much, much more confident of my safety with women I don’t know well, as opposed to men.
This is a totally different hypothetical!! ‘Do you want to go back to my place and fuck tonight’ is COMPLETELY different than ‘would you like to come over and see my artwork?’ (sexual interest implied with body language, etc). One is socially abrupt and a commitment (if you go with them, you’re promising sex) the other is totally open-ended, not to mention NORMAL.
I’m straight, but I’m interested in artwork and would be dying to see her house, so I’d go. No way would I sleep with her, though. Totally not my thing.
And I think that’s especially true for women. From what I understand, we are a bit more flexible in that regard. There are like a handful of women IRL I’ve been attracted to very strongly, though it’s interesting that many of them have exhibited stereotypically masculine traits.
But I’ve also been turned on by some celebrity-type women with very feminine traits. Why Beyonce and not 99.9% of the rest of the female population? No idea.
I have to admit I often ask myself whether that’s a result of being constantly socialized to regard the female body as attractive. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, I would much rather see a naked woman than a naked man - which strikes me as odd considering the fact that I fantasize about men and always have been strongly attracted to men.
Yeah, I’m a straight female and wouldn’t mind seeing her etchings, but would reserve the right to refuse sex. On the other hand though, I also might consider it (although I’ve never done so before) if I found myself attracted to her. Just no telling what I might do until I wound up in that situation.
I’m a straight female. I will be extremely flattered. I will tell her both bits of information. I will also let her know that I admire her, think she is wonderful and would love to actually see her etchings if she can respect that I am not interested in sex.
I said bi and oh hell yes but I’m such a nonsexual person I didn’t immediately assume we’d have sex. I’d want to get a chance to be alone with her for sure. Plus it would depend on who it was. I’d like to meet Oprah but ain’t no way I’m doing it with her.
Would you explain this to her before leaving the bar. She’s obviously inviting you to her home as a prelude to possible sex. If you know for certain you’re not going to go to bed with her, it’s seems wrong to lead her on just so you can see inside her house.
I’m straight and interested in artwork, but in this case I don’t believe the aforementioned etchings actually exist. And there’s no point in giving her any more of the wrong idea, or leading her on further, since she seems to have gotten some kind of signals that I had no idea I was sending. I would hope, though, that conversations might still be in order, if we’re getting along that well.
I guess it’s a ‘Can we just be friends?’ situation.
If I thought the woman was hitting on me, I’d make it very clear that I was straight, yes. I don’t think that means that we can’t be friends, though. If after she knows that I’m very straight, she still wants me to see her paintings, yeah, I’m going.