I absolutely HATE that one for some vehicle ( I can’t remember which one) where the parents are driving their baby around to put it to sleep and when the baby IS asleep and the poor Mom is about to go inside and go to bed, the asshole father WAKES THE BABY UP so that he can keep on driving around in his precious car. That one really does piss me off, because I know how it feels to have the baby FINALLY go to sleep (and my son hardly ever slept at all for the first few months), only to wake up just as I am about to lie down, and the idea that someone could do that on purpose isn’t even the least bit funny to me. If my hubby had ever done that to me, he’d have had a muffler crammed right up his ass. :mad:
I also hate the one for Hall’s cough drops, where the dad is sick with a sore throat, and the kids are bitching that he promised to take them skiing and that he’s bumming them out by wanting to stay in bed. :mad: You had better believe that the next time they whined about being sick, I’d roll their little rears right out of bed and out the door to school!
TAMPAX COMMERCIALS!!! Are they holding a contest to see who can come up with the grossest idea to advertise these things?
And last, but not least, the one for the male enhancement drug, where that guy goes around grinning like an idiot all day, because he’s taking something that’s made his pecker bigger. That one make me want to gag!
YES! I’m glad I’m not the only one who hates the Dennis Franz commercials for Nextel. First, they aren’t clever or ironic. Second, that beep is annoying. Third, after all their commercials, I still don’t have the foggiest idea how that thing works and why I should want it. Fourth, as if people yammering on cell phones wasn’t bad enough, now people are going to SHOUT into the phone, and you can hear BOTH ENDS of the conversation?
The batch of Ford commercials with Henry Ford XVII or whatever the hell his name is, talking about how he’s always loved Fords, and everyone he’s ever talked to has loved Fords.
Of course they do, you prick. Your name is Ford. Your family owns Ford. You run Ford. You have enough money to crush someone merely by dropping a small percentage of it on their heads. You think someone’s going to walk up to you at the airport (like you’ve ever flown in anything but your daddy’s corporate jet, which he gave to you on your sixteenth birthday because you already owned all the cars) and say, “Man, your cars suck.”
These commercials fill me with actual Lewis Black-style sputtering rage. Why am I supposed to be impressed by what the scion of the company thinks? Screw him. Find me some guy who A) has ever worked for a living, B) has ever had to BUY a car, and C) had the balls not to join the family megacorp, and maybe, just maaaybe, I’ll give a flying flip what he thinks about his car.
…and for that matter all of TV in general. granted there is some [read: very very little] good stuff on there, it is far outweighed by all of the sheer nonsense. and that’s not even counting the commercials.
I’m OK with commercials, but what really irritates me is that the volume seems to double during the commercials. Lately it’s become so bad as to make the commercials intolerable. Look, asshats, if you’re going to make me adjust the volume for every commercial to catch my attention, guess where it’s going? To MUTE. Every time. I’m becoming a channel surfer, too, so I don’t think you want to call attention to the fact that it’s time to flip around.
I can accept it getting a little louder, but on some of the cable networks, it’s out of control. This sort of thing works when it’s subtle, not when it pisses your audience off.
In the same Bill Ford ad campaign, there’s the one where he says (paraphrased), “People tell me they’re trying to find an old Ford truck in mint condition, and they just can’t.”
When I heard that line, it confused me–“Did you just say that your trucks don’t hold up well over time?” Of course, what he means is that people who buy Ford trucks work them hard, but I don’t think the commercial makes that clear enough.
Even so, that’s because people used to buy pickup trucks so they could use them. They were built to be worked hard, not to be pretty things to drive around. I don’t think you can compare an old pickup truck to a newer one–it’s apples and oranges.
Yes! I think almost every mother in America wants to throw something at the screen, especially for the “waking the baby” commercial. I hate that one with a passion.
I also can’t stand the brats in the Hall’s commercial. “You’re bumming us out, Dad.” Poor dad’s sick and they’re pissed because he can’t go skiing. Drives me nuts.
In addition, I can’t stand those pharmaceutical commercials with disclaimers like
I’m sorry, side-effects similar to when you take a sugar pill? One of us isn’t making a lot of fucking sense, and I don’t think it’s me.
Oh yeah, and that incredibly annoying cellphone commercial from a year or two ago:
Eh, the in-crowd couldn’t tell the difference between their collective ass and a hole in the ground. I wouldn’t be caught dead with your damned cellphone.
Carrot Top. I actually have to plug my ears and say “la la la la” until someone can mute the TV or I’ll actually start to foam at the mouth.
That fucking materialistic BITCH who gets all huffy because her boyfriend dared to get hershoes as a gift! Then it’s a glass slipper and she’s all “he got me shoes!!” Fucking ho doesn’t deserve to get anything.
Commercials that basically say “all women want is a diamond/gold/whatever” as if all women were that shallow. And btw, if any man ever proved himself to be so financially inept as to spend three months salary on a fucking RING he would be assured of never sharing a household with me! (not that it matters since I’m already married, but still.
Any commercial that shows someone with food on their face or being messy with food. Especially if it isn’t a small child or a baby. Those “BEEFY!” Chef Boy Ardee commercials literally made my gorge rise. Gah!!!
“Beef. It’s what’s for dinner.” No, assmunch, I’m a vegetarian. It isn’t what is for dinner.
Don’t tell me they’re saying three months now…as someone who is recently engaged, I’m frequently seen by my peers as an unromantic schlub because I have yet to purchase such a ring, despite the fact that my fiancee (as sensible as she is beautiful, no wonder I’m marrying her) doesn’t want one.
(She wants a ring, just not one that’s going to put me (that is, us) into hock.)
The commercial for, I think, McDonald’s: “I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want! So tell me what you want, what you really, really want!” Aargh! I’ll tell you what I want, you fucking ass pickle. I want you to SHUT THE HELL UP! REALLY!
Oh, I also hate the promos for Bob Vila’s show on TLC. He sure does know how to work that Allen wrench.
Aye, Hell hath no fury like a Carrot Top commercial! That guy is so lame his last gig (I shit you not) was the state fair circuit and AT&T thinks that he’s a good spokesman? Shit, no wonder they’re having to sell off all their various divisions just to stay afloat!
That “Zoom Zoom” brat in the Mazda commercials. Hey guys, one of the most hated kinds of car dealers in America are Mazda dealers! Having some annoying brat in a suit whispering “Zoom, zoom.” as a bunch of rebadged Fords drive by ain’t gonna sell your cars!
Word about the Dell guy!
The fucking Corn Pops = crack commercials. Uh yeah, if I had a kid, do you think I’d buy him/her a cereal that’s going to turn him/her into more of a ravening lunatic? I don’t think so.
Anybody else notice that the doorbell in the Dominos commerical looks an awful lot like a nipple? (And I can’t stand the ‘free cinna-sticks’ one where the dad eats them all before the family makes it to him.)
And, despite protestations to the contrary lots and lots and lots of women do still want an expensive diamond ring for an engagement. My girlfriend-now-fiancee definitely wanted one, and she is about the further person from shallow I could ever hope to find.
The Hyundai commercial where the guy goes to Hell because he didn’t buy their car, then saying that since this is Hell, he has to drive the mini-van. I doubt that I’m going to go to Hell for not buying a certain car; there’s plenty more reasons than that to send me to the abyss. Heh heh heh…
The carrot top and cleo commercials make me dive under a blanket, mute the TV, close my eyes so tight I can’t see when I open them and go ‘dum de dum, dum de dum dumm, de de dum, dum de de, dumm dee da fa la la la’ at the top of my lungs until they end. Why did AT&T hire that sack of shit? Kill it, I say.
That fucking rag commercial with the goddamned red dot–it’s annoying as hell and they play it fifty times an hour during certain programs–I almost sprained my wrist diving for the remote last week on that one…
WHY do we NEED rag commercials anyway? Hey, our cunts bleed, we plug 'em up, end of story–why subject us all to more of this bullshit and remind us of the whole process when we AREN’T having the period?
Yeah, and that guy with the “Black Hole Sun” grimace because of the weenie drug freaks me out too–damned if I’d let that bastard between MY legs for ANY reason! :wally
I won’t bother echoing some of the more obvious ones… I’ll just add one to the pile.
Toaster Strudels.
Gods, how I HATE those commercials. Here is the parent, making sure the kid gets breakfast. Here is the kid, being a fuckwad. Wasting all those poptarts[sup]tm[/sup]. All I can think of is "people are STARVING and you’re stashing poptarts in your LOCKER. " And then they all fall out on the floor- who do you think is going to clean that? Not the hopped-up-on-icing brat.
Never mind the amount of money flying out of these households- one for buying never-eaten poptarts, and the other for supplying the toaster strudels.
Even worse than Carrot top - Now they (or some other $1 call it’s only a buck shit company) have brought back…ALF! I thought it was a joke when I first saw it like a parody of those commercials, but no. Why oh why would you decide to use a puppet from 10 years ago…yeargh! I swear these 10-10-220 crapmercials are starting to become a list of “who’s-who in washed up celebrities who were never that popular to begin with and are now desperate for any sort of work.” If someone ever offered me a job doing one of those commercials I would take it as an insult and go hang myself.
I DON"T understand the sudden need for all these “dial this number before you call someone collect” businesses. I mean, really, how often are you calling someone collect that they are greatful to you for “saving them a buck or two” each time you call? Get a calling card, fuckhead! Who even uses payphones anymore? Everyones got a cell phone, 2 way radio, instant messenger, and fucking 35 cents to use before I would call someone collect!
It seems like the phone companies in general, or, any commercial that has to do with phones should all get a prize for hiring the biggest ad creating losers they can find. They couldn’t do any worse if they were trying.
