I can’t see much of a difference in any of those rings either. And, they’re nearly all horribly ugly.
Let’s see…
The one time I was engaged, my ex-fiancee would have had to spend about $9000 on my ring. Holy shit. I’ve spent less than that on three of my 4 car purchases. With that kind of money, I’d be able to get completely out of debt AND put about $4000 down on a new car or a new home. The ring he DID give me cost about $250 (I think). It was a decent sized emerald with two tiny diamonds. It was set in gold. I could have done without the diamonds and silver would have been nice. But, it was a beautiful ring.
I didn’t/don’t have an engagement ring, unless you count the one my husband made out of a wire tie. God, I love that man. I do have a pretty, simple gold band with 5 little channel-set diamonds in it, and he has a matching one. I think the pair cost us ~$400 back in 1994.
We’ve talked about replacing them, maybe at 20 years, but I don’t know–just not a priority, plus I’m really, really attached to this one.
I don’t like diamonds. My engagement ring was an opal. It may have cost him a week’s pay. I wore it for a few months till we got our bands, which didn’t work with the engagement ring.
We just had our 25th anniversary. We’re both making lots more money now than then, meaning a theoretical engagement ring today would cost almost as much as my car. :eek: Yeah, I don’t think so…
I don’t have an engagement ring. I didn’t want one. If the spouse was going to spend two months’ salary on me (which I think is silly–I’d rather save it or spend it on the house), I’d have preferred a really kick-ass computer system.
My current wedding ring is titanium and carbon fiber. It matches his. We think they’re way cool. They cost about $60 each. We’ve got enough money that if I wanted one of those ridiculous expensive rings, I could probably have one (not super-expensive, of course, but pretty nice)–but what’s the point? As someone upthread said, it’s just a ring. I don’t even particularly like the look of that sort of thing, and I resent all the implications from the diamond industry that if a guy doesn’t buy his fiancee a megarock, he doesn’t love her enough.
We’ve been happily married 20 years. I think he loves me enough.
there’s a difference between expensive jewellry and demanding your husband to be spends two months worth of his salary on a ring for you to show off to your friends.
“I’m so important to him that he spent two months of his salary on the engagement ring that I demanded he do!” Bleh.
Very true. I know he earns a hell of a lot more than me, he can afford a pretty pricey ring but I wouldn’t want him to do that. To insist that he spends that much of a piece of jewellery “because he should” is pretty shallow
I’ve never known anyone who wants an expensive ring just to show off to their friends…the people who want expensive rings want them because they like flashy expensive jewelry. Their engagement is one of the few times they are likely to get flashy expensive jewelry. Everyone I’ve ever met (including almost every Doper, and including myself) who doesn’t like these rings doesn’t ask for them. Or they like the rings, but not enough to prioritize them.
I’ve heard of women who have demanded flashy expensive rings (rather than wanting them). I’ve also heard of guys who demand blow jobs. Maybe for some people having those expectations laid out is a benefit to the relationship.
My ring must have cost him less a few minutes-worth, before taxes. It cost about $10. If he had spent two months’ salary on a ring I wouldn’t have married him.
Call me tasteless, but I thought virtually all of those rings were hideous. Grotesque, baroque monstrosities, overwrought and set with too many shiny baubles. I sincerely hope I never fall for the type of woman who expects her fiance to spend that much money on such a piece of detritus.
I guess I’ve finally had my fill of the judgment around here of a woman who would like a very nice engagement ring. If she wants it, and her fiancee wants to buy it - why is this shallow? Why do we (not specifically you, this seems to be a Doper trait in general) need to condemn all these rings as ugly? Throw rocks for her being ‘high maintenance’ or ‘materialistic?’ So someone doesn’t have the same values as you - you aren’t marrying her.
And if she is “demanding it” and he doesn’t want to provide it and he isn’t seeing that as a flashing red warning light about there chances of future happiness - they deserve what they get.
If a couple spent two months salary flying to Hawaii for their honeymoon where they sat on a beach and drank Mai Tais for a week because she’d always wanted to go to Hawaii - or spent three weeks traveling Europe - there wouldn’t be half the judgment. But, oh my God, someone spends a lot of money on a piece of jewelry that they will cherish for the rest of their lives and hope to pass down to their grandchildren and we all feel the need to condemn them - and say its ugly.
And I don’t see this sort of reverse snobbery any more attractive than the people who look at someone’s not even a quarter caret strip mall diamond and sneer at it.
If she wants it because her taste in jewelry runs to large stones, fine. No accounting for taste.
If she wants it not because she thinks it’s beautiful, but so she can brag about how much money her fiance spent on her, I’m going to say she’s shallow.
But there would be the same kind of judgment if they went on that sort of vacation just so they could brag to their friends about what an expensive vacation they went on.
But a lot of the people who value an engagement ring because of its cost don’t do that. They “upgrade” to a bigger stone later on.
If I had to spend a fortune on jewelry or a vacation, I’d spend it on the jewelry. I could sell the jewelry later and get at least some of the money back.
Sure, but I don’t believe MOST women are picking ugly assed rings that they have to wear for the rest of their lives simply to brag - if they are, shallow is ranking below short sighted in my opinion of them - how sad to get stuck for fifty years with a ring you don’t like. And I find it fascinating that we are so quick to know the motivation of these hypothetical women - while simultaneously bragging about our own triumph of sentimentality or practicality over materialism. If someone wants to pit their shallow sister in law with specifics on how she flashes her 2 carets all the time, told you she really didn’t like this ring “but it was the biggest” and sneers at your art ring - I’m all over that. But we seem to be using a big brush here that paints all women who want expensive rings as materialistic.
God, I love that man. I do have a pretty, simple gold band with 5 little channel-set diamonds in it, and he has a matching one. I think the pair cost us ~$400 back in 1994.