. . . that have been bugging me for years
What is the purpose of a merkin? I don’t understand: do you wear it on the top of your head or on your crotch? And if the latter, why? How does it stay attached - glue? Doesn’t that hurt?
How do you pronounce “D’oh!” as said by, I think, Homer Simpson or maybe all of the Simpsons? I’ve never seen the show. Is it pronounced the same as “duh”? As in, “Well, duh, you moron”? Does it mean “duh”?
Well here’s Cecil’s 2 cents for the question # 1 : http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_232.html
It is pronounced just the way it is spelled. O as in “Go.” D as in, eh, D. Think “Doe.”
Wasn’t he that dude on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom? Gabe Merkin? 
He made Jim wrestle all the dangerous animals while he sat back and watched (or reminded us that we need insurance). What a p***y. (hence the name?)
From "Bart Gets An Elephant:
Just then, Homer, Marge, and Lisa arrive in the car.
[Homer drives into a preserved deer statue]
Homer: D’oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer…
How about “Marlin Perkins”.
Oh crap! Somebody has a lot of explaining to do. Who the heck is the Gabe fella? And why is he trying to sell me insurance? And why did he shave his crotch!?!