GMTA, thestrangeness; see post #50. 
oh. wow. lol. didn’t mean to rip you off
Pshaw! That thread name is begging for multiple versions. Besides, yours is better.
“It’s hard to live with a man who’s learning to play the violin”, she said handing the police the revolver.
— Richard Brautigan
Plagiarism saves time
As the hitchhiker closed the door of the pickup he’d just got into he said, “It smelled like blood out there.” The driver locked the doors and reached for a knife, looking in the rear-view mirror at his wife who lay in the bloody bed and said, “I just killed a dear.”
33 AD–The very first Easter Sunday: Jesus exited the crypt, poured Himself a cuppa joe and scratched his head, stifling a yawn. “I feel like I’ve been dead three days,” He mumbled aloud.
(Apologies to G. Larson)
'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Unless the thing you lost was worth lots of money.
If you love something set it free. If it comes back it is yours and if not, hunt it down and kill it.
The doctor said, “It’s not as bad as it sounds. I don’t think we’re pronouncing it right.”
The doctor said, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we’re going to name a disease after you!”
My late wife’s doctor was good enough to come to her funeral. “I don’t suppose you’d like to see the test results?” he asked at the conclusion.
When I participated in a spelling bee, my competitor missed the word “schadenfreude.” For some reason, I took pleasure in that.
“I do”.
She didn’t.
Regards,
Shodan
Talk about government waste! I paid my taxes YEARS ago and to this day they STILL send me the forms!
Grissom and Young had nearly completed their third orbit when there was a knock on the door. “Who is it?”, Gus called out while John smacked him in the head and said “Think about it!”.
This has obviously degenerated into a series of two liners. I’m appalled, but keep up the good work!
Jesus saves. Moses picks up the rebound, he shoots, HE SCORES!!!
If it wasn’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.
When you stare into the Abyss, it stares back into you. Which is why I avoid the nunnery; once was enough.
I was awoken by the radiant sun gleaming through the window, dappling my face with warm and tender caresses. So I parked at the next rest area and got myself a triple espresso.
Should I get back to work or should I read SDMB a little more? I think the answer is obvious.