Two truths and a lie

The Game Room
61

Correct. I once read that Kirk Cameron has never eaten chocolate.

62

Kirk Cameron says a lot of crazy shit that isn’t true.

63

True, but this was in a 1980’s era authorized paperback biography of dreamy and kissable teen star Kirk Cameron, star of television’s “Growing Pains,” which to me simply screams credibility. Come to think of it, that was a while ago, so he might have tasted it by now.

64

Correct. My dad did date the young and then-elfin Judi Dench in the mid-Fifties when he was in England; they met again on NYC a few years ago and (platonically) renewed their acquaintance. A photo of her from a little later than they dated: http://a.abcnews.com/images/GMA/ap_judi_dench_070216_ssv.jpg

I bumped into Al Gore at the NH Democratic convention in 1988. I was working for Mike Dukakis at the time, and had a Dukakis campaign button on my lapel, so there could be no doubt who I supported. I couldn’t very well say “Good luck,” so I blurted out, “May the best man win!” He raised his eyebrow and gravely said, “Thank you, sir,” or the like.

I’ve never broken either of my arms.

65

Nope - cliched as it undoubtedly is, I have done this more than once. However, it seemed to go off pretty well with my close colleagues. I haven’t heard about that promotion yet, though :).

66

Mine:

  1. I have cooked dinner for both Wayne Newton and Alice Cooper (not the same night).
  2. I have never seen Sesame Street.
  3. I am a billiards champion.
67

In that case, let’s say number 3, the power cable one.

68

#2 is the lie, I’ll guess.

69

Wrong! I have never seen Sesame Street!

70

You make Elmo cry.

Then either Newton or Cooper never tasted your cuisine (if one premise is false the entire thing is).

71

So I gotta spill, I guess . . .

1a. My cousins were minor-league entertainers in Cleveland in the ‘70s. After my mom died, I used to spend summers with my aunt and uncle in a Cleveland suburb. My younger cousin worked part time at a music store where Alice Cooper sometimes dropped by when the band was in town for shows. They got to be friendly, and one day my cousin invited Alice (Vince Furnier, not the whole band) home for dinner. He accepted, and we had a very nice evening.
1b. When Wayne Newton had had his first wave of popularity, but before he went Vegas, he used to tour the state and county fair circuit. It was too expensive for him to carry a full band, so he’d get sidemen from the local musicians’ union. My older cousin got the gig to be his keyboard player at the Cuyahoga County Fair one year. I think I was 10 or 12. My cousin had to haul all his stuff (Hammond B3, Farfisa, etc.) out to the fairgrounds and he took me with him to guard it while he made more trips. While I was sitting on the stage, making sure nobody made off with a Leslie, a man came out to talk to me. I let him know I was Authorized Personnel lest he boot me, but when my cousin came back I found out it was . . . you know who. Cousin #2 invited him home to dinner.

I don’t remember what we served Wayne, but Alice I’m pretty sure had pot roast. Extraordinarily nice guys, both of them.

  1. I was my university’s women’s billiards champion. I am not a good billiards player, nor was I then. I just sucked less than the competition.
    OH CRAP!!! I read it wrong!!! I posted two truths and a lie.
72

Me either. I had absolutely zero interest in live-action shows when I was a little kid. The few times I was forced to sit through Mr. Rogers at friends’ houses I was totally creeped out. I liked He-Man and Underdog, but I generally would’ve rather been outside playing.

73

Man, you guys missed out. Sesame Street was the bomb.

74

Oh, why not?

  1. My 20th book was published this year

  2. I have competed in two PRCA-sanctioned rodeos (and didn’t win either time)

  3. I’ve been laughed at by R.L. Stine (author of over 200 books, including the Goosebumps series)

75

I’ll say one is the lie, and you’re on your 19th or 21st.

76

Ooooh. You’re good.

77

Come on, it’s a lot more fun if the lie is completely fabricated. It’s not Two Truths and a 9/10ths Truth.

78

Okay. Let’s try again:

  1. I was once the tech guy for an Internet broadcast for Al Gore (when he was VP)

  2. I have never been hunting, but I have shot a deer (fatally)

  3. I once sang the Star Spangled Banner at the start of a major-league baseball game (not televised, but using the microphone on the park’s sound system)

79

  1. I used to be a forklift driver in a freezer-warehouse on the graveyard shift.

  2. I personally know a well-known music producer, who sent me my first vibrator and a little teddybear for Valentine’s Day.

  3. All 3 of my children were born prematurally and weighed under 5lbs.

80

Hmmm, I was thinking I’d go with “peed on by a lion”, but that’s already taken…

Editorial comments added for flavor and not part of “truthiness”.

  1. When my Mom was in college [New York in the 60’s], she briefly dated Art Spiegelman.
  2. A former colleague [who I know well and worked with closely] was listed by People magazine as one of the “Sexiest Men Alive”.
  3. I have been bitten [but not necessarily injured] by at least one individual of each of the following species: dog, cat, mouse, bat, turtle, donkey, parrot, hawk or falcon (I dunno which), snake. [I still have scars from one of these incidents.]