Two truths and a lie

[Moonchild]

@Hoopy Frood

3 has to be the fake. I mean, the Canseco gave me steroids would be questionable enough, but I highly doubt steroids aren’t going to suddenly allow someone to dunk a basketball who couldn’t already do so (or at the very least couldn’t already come close).

And for number #2, which wife?

You are correct! I guess that was pretty transparent. Canseco was actually on my Sunday co-ed softball team last season, but steroids definitely never came up. However, I’m fairly certain steroids would have made the difference back before my near-dunking hops left me. I have been watching some of those streetballers on YouTube lately and they’re positively amazing!

I bartended the Pitt-Aniston wedding. Brad ran to my bar just before taking the altar because he had dry mouth and grabbed a Perrier off my bar. Dumb things tended to come out of my mouth when I was tending bar and that happened to be one of those times.

The other truth – the one about the heiress to the Muppets fortune – is slightly misleading. My son attends preschool with Jim Henson’s grand daughter. But I am most certain she is in love with him… umm, or at least a strong like.

[Spice_Weasel]

1. I’ve never done drugs, smoked a cigarrette, or participated in underage drinking.

2. I have spoken in tongues during fits of religious ecstasy.

3. I used to be a bow hunter and won an award for my age division in an archery competition.

[Windwalker]

@olivesmarch4th

1. I’ve never done drugs, smoked a cigarrette, or participated in underage drinking.

2. I have spoken in tongues during fits of religious ecstasy.

3. I used to be a bow hunter and won an award for my age division in an archery competition.

I almost want to say #1 is a lie because it’s the most mundane, but I think it’s a trap. #2 is a lie, because, uhm, you would lose face on the Straight Dope for admitting it.
Here’s mine:

1. I once got into an argument and shoving match halfway up the hike to the top of Uluru (Ayer’s Rock), which resulted in a broken camera.

2. I once tried to drop something into a basketball net from over 100 meters up and missed by about two meters.

3. I once had three leeches on my ass that I didn’t discover until hours later.

[Spice_Weasel]

@Windwalker

I almost want to say #1 is a lie because it’s the most mundane, but I think it’s a trap. #2 is a lie, because, uhm, you would lose face on the Straight Dope for admitting it.
Here’s mine:

1. I once got into an argument and shoving match halfway up the hike to the top of Uluru (Ayer’s Rock), which resulted in a broken camera.

2. I once tried to drop something into a basketball net from over 100 meters up and missed by about two meters.

3. I once had three leeches on my ass that I didn’t discover until hours later.

I think #2 is your lie. I think you made the shot.

My lie is #1 – It’s true I’ve never smoked or done drugs, but I had my first taste of alcohol at 19.

I did speak in tongues – I was a Pentecostal Christian in Jr. High. It’s a bizarre experience whether you believe it’s the Holy Spirit or your own tripped-out brain.

[Windwalker]

@olivesmarch4th

I think #2 is your lie. I think you made the shot.

My lie is #1 – It’s true I’ve never smoked or done drugs, but I had my first taste of alcohol at 19.

I did speak in tongues – I was a Pentecostal Christian in Jr. High. It’s a bizarre experience whether you believe it’s the Holy Spirit or your own tripped-out brain.

DOH! Should have went for the trap

My #2 is completely true. It was on top of an apartment building, and the basketball court was right below, and we were dropping balls of paper. Not the most civilized or considerate thing to do, but we did pick up the stuff later. Most of our shots were way off; my closest was 2 meters from the net.

My #1 is a complete fabrication. I’ve never even been to Australia, and the broken camera incident did not happen anywhere. I did date an Australian, though.

[Martini_Enfield]

1. I was born and grew up in New Zealand, yet I speak more French than I do Maori.

2. I had a non-speaking role as a British Officer in a Bollywood film that was being filmed near University when I was studying.

3. I have never even held, much less fired, an M-1 Garand.

[judikium]

I’ll give this a go!

1. I have been on friendly terms with three national spelling bee champions (including coaching the current champ).

2. I’ve solved a Rubik’s cube in under two minutes.

3. My friends and I once danced on tables and sang “La Vie Boheme” in a full TGI Friday’s.

[Sternvogel]

@judikium

I’ll give this a go!

1. I have been on friendly terms with three national spelling bee champions (including coaching the current champ).

2. I’ve solved a Rubik’s cube in under two minutes.

3. My friends and I once danced on tables and sang “La Vie Boheme” in a full TGI Friday’s.

I know someone who’s solved the Cube in under one minute, so I don’t find #2 hard to believe. #3 sounds too specific, so I’ll guess #1 is the lie.

Martini: Since you’re into firearms, I’ll guess you employed reverse psychology and named one weapon you do have no experience with. #1 seems plausible enough, so I’ll say #2 is your lie.

[judikium]

@Sternvogel

I know someone who’s solved the Cube in under one minute, so I don’t find #2 hard to believe. #3 sounds too specific, so I’ll guess #1 is the lie.

Nope. #3 is the lie - although it’s it’s been suggested, we’ve never gone so far to dance on the tables. One of these days…

I was in the national spelling bee myself a few years ago, so I do know three spelling bee champs (Nupur Lala, Anurag Kashyap, and the newest winner, Sameer Mishra), although I never knew any of them too well. And I did quiz Sameer a bit. Cool kid.

[Boozahol_Squid_P.I]

@Martini Enfield

1. I was born and grew up in New Zealand, yet I speak more French than I do Maori.

2. I had a non-speaking role as a British Officer in a Bollywood film that was being filmed near University when I was studying.

3. I have never even held, much less fired, an M-1 Garand.

As someone who owns and loves a Lee-Enfield, and has had the exquisite joy of firing a Martini-Henry… I pray that it’s number 3. I mean, it’s the best weapon ever made!

[Martini_Enfield]

@Sternvogel

I know someone who’s solved the Cube in under one minute, so I don’t find #2 hard to believe. #3 sounds too specific, so I’ll guess #1 is the lie.

Martini: Since you’re into firearms, I’ll guess you employed reverse psychology and named one weapon you do have no experience with. #1 seems plausible enough, so I’ll say #2 is your lie.

Bingo.

(And for the record, my username comes from the rifle of the same name. Yes, I also wrote the linked wiki article, in case you were wondering. )

Sorry, Boozahol Squid- despite my love of, interest in, and general affinity for firearms, I’ve never actually held or fired an M1 Garand. I’ve seen plenty of them in museums, though. I’ve never held or fired an AR-15 or M-16, either, FWIW.

I can only manage about five words of Maori, whilst I spent many years in High School studying French and can hold basic conversations of the “Ordering food in restaurants/asking or giving directions/buying things from shops” variety- I’ve been to France and was able to communicate with people in French without embarrassing myself spectacularly too, although I’ve forgotten most of it now. I should probably take a refresher course…

As much as I’d love to have played a British Officer in a film (Bollywood or otherwise), I’m afraid that’s the lie in this case. Sorry to disappoint you all.

[JR_Brown]

@Cisco

1. I gotta hear the stories if this is true. How neurotic was he?

2. Seems false because the only Sexiest Man Alive winners I know of are super A-list actors, but I don’t follow People Magazine, and maybe you know a super A-list actor anyway.

3. I’m gonna go with this one being the lie, because hawks and falcons are as easy to tell apart as cats and dogs. I think even someone who had never been around them could tell them apart pretty intuitively.

Well, as this is the only guess, I’ll spill:
#1 is the lie - Mom did meet Mr Spiegelman on a couple of occasions, but they never knew each other well.
#2 is true - I think the guy in question is the only practicing biologist to be so named.
#3 is true - I’ve met a lot of people with weird pets, plus I’ve been granted “official uninvited-wildlife remover” status by several friends and acquaintances.

JRB

[Cisco]

So who is it? Jeff Corwin?