Crap, y’all. I’m sorry. I should cool down before I post. I’m mucking up MPSIMS by posting Pit-style, and I apologize. My sentiments remain the same, but I should have started a Pit thread.
Yeah, yeah. You don’t want any help or sympathy so you broadcast your pain all over a message board. Listen, bud, this pattern is pretty obvious. You feel shitty about yourself and you do on some level want help, but you don’t feel like you deserve it, so you blast the people who come in offering help so you can have another excuse to feel shitty because you were mean to the people who were trying to be kind.
This sounds exactly like classic depression–it certainly sounds exactly like MY depression, at any rate–and it is incredibly treatable. Get your head out of your ass. You don’t have to feel like this. You have the power at this moment to choose to STOP. So quit sitting around feeling fucking sorry for yourself and do something about it.
Tygr: I haven’t been here too much longer than you, but I have noticed that people here genuinely care for one another. I believe that the people who responded to your OP were honestly trying to be helpful. If you want to continue to be a welcomed and accepted part of this community, I would advise you to be careful, in the future, not to offend or insult those who are lending their support.
I hope you feel better soon.
::laughs:: Never have I been made to feel stupid for being sympathetic. Way to go Tygr. 
Hey simetra! Yer funny lookin too! (smilie impaired)
Tygr can’t remember the past seven hours. Who’s been posting under his name?
Ladies and gentle men, I offer my humblest, sincerest apologies. Truly. Mea culpa.
Mrs. Tygr picked me up at work, sensed that something was wrong, and proceeded to work the miracle she does best. She restored Tygr’s faith in himself. Now he’s got to try to undo all he’s done.
My second post was completely un-called for. Strap me to a yardarm and forty lashes to me for forgetting what I first came to MPSIMS for - namely the kind, gentle souls that reside here. I had hoped to become known as one of these, but with that post, I fear I may have irreparably dashed those hopes. Those of you who posted after that were completely correct in strongly taking me to task for my incorrect usage of the SDMB.
All of you who offered sympathies, you are appreciated. Sincerely. You are veteran posters, who’s writings I’ve grown to respect. I did not act with respect. That was wrong, and I deeply regret that. Again, I apologize. If you give me 24 hours, and your profiles display e-mails, I’ll send each of you a personal apology.
As to my OP, I honestly can’t figure out what might have led me to that amount of despondency. I don’t THINK I’m prone to emotional displays like that in public. Please rest assured that I no longer feel so worthless. Deacons Trucked was right saying that I have people around me who care for me. Posting such an emotional outburst in a public forum showed a lack of respect to those I love. I fear that, should they read this, they may think I don’t trust them enough to discuss my problems with them. That would be a grievous mistake on my part.
And now if you’ll excuse me, Mrs. Tygr is going to get the apology she didn’t know she was owed. Brace yerself, dear-heart!
::: observes wisened little man carrying blackjack walking up behind those attempting to comfort Tygr, shouts out “Eddie, don’t!” :::
Okeh, you’ve drunk your toast, thrown your glass, and spilled what’s tearing your guts out. You’ve read the stories; you know what comes next.
You get to fix it. With loving friends helping you through it.
Listen to them, Tygr. From just a couple of days’ exposure (I don’t get into MPSIMS often), you’re a pretty special sort of person. And what’s getting you down needs to be fixed.
Minor side note: clinical depression can be somatic in origin, your body acting up rather than an emotional cause. Or it can be a combination. My own depressed period was a combination of postcoronary depression and a resultant screw-up of my metabolism that caused abnormally low blood sugar – and all that I needed to bring me out of it was a candy bar or hard candy when I started getting down.
We’re short a talking dog, a few aliens, and a few time travelers (I think!), but you’re on target. This is where we work ourselves through the tough stuff, with friends to help.
I’d give you a Blessing, but we’re out of whipped cream. 
This particular public forum is as good a place as any to post your feelings. We’ll be here to listen.
As for the apology, aw hell, don’t worry about it. You’re OK in my book.
Aw, Polycarp, you>sniffle< …you just got to me. Seriously. AND you showed me that it’s been too long since I’ve read Callahan’s. I DID forget about the final step. P’raps if I’d remembered that in the first place, I wouldn’t have embarrassed myself with that second post.
Okay, Tygr’s jus’ ‘bout ready to bawl, here. Poly, you’ve given me more to be humble about than this tired ol’ heart can stand. You’re one whose good opinion is treasured.
Alright, you, Poly, along with the good, wise and (thank God) tolerant denizens above who suffered through a newbie’s ingratitude, have convinced me to consider talking to somebody to see why I get these (rare!) bouts of low self esteem. (Okay, be fair, Ty. Mrs. Tygr did a lot of convincing.)
Thanks again, Poly.
Ogre, yer great. My heart shrank with dread at the thought that I’d sorely pissed you off. Without your inspiration, I wouldn’t have a Newbie-Mentor!
With friends like you guys here, p’raps the tough stuff will get worked through. If I don’t post here again before the new year, Merry Christmas and God bless.
Tygr, I am truly glad that you are feeling better. I hope that you don’t think I was too harsh in what I posted, it’s just that I know when I’m wallowing in self-pity what I need is not sympathy but a kick in the ass. I hope that you will try to figure out what is causing these bouts–as Polycarp pointed out, it frequently is biochemical and can be dealt with. I have bouts of depression because my brain chemistry is screwed up, so I take medication for it. Simple as that. Good luck.
And just because I gotta: {{{{{Tygr}}}}}
Just wanted to jump in and say how wonderful my Tygr is. He is the most fantastic, gentle, sensitive, caring man I have ever known. He is kind and giving. He is romantic. He is most definitely fun. We laugh tons more than most couples. I think sometimes (rarely), when his body is tired and his mind is stressed or worn out(like everybody else this busy time of year), he gets down.
I think I add to his writing stress…since I am a writer and I roll out words easily and type fast at that.
Deacons Trucked…you are the most wonderful Brother in law and I love you for who you are. I said a big AWWWWWEEEE when I read your post. Hugs in person Monday.
Tygr, remember: The most wonderful thing about Tygrs is you’re the only one! My one! nose scrunch *BIG smile
Love ya’ babe.
Jkayla
That is the sweetest coolest thing. Rock on!
No hard feeling Tygr
And whoever said I was funny lookin’ Why don’t you come down here and say it to my face… 
Sorry I didn’t get to this sooner, Tygr.
You already know where you rate in my book. So I’m going to start talking, and I hope you’ll listen.
For starters, listen to Polycarp. Always. Oh wait–you posted just a second ago, and it appears that you ARE listening to him. Good. Very good. Always listen to Poly. He’s wrong about as often as Cecil is, which is, oh, never.
There are lots & lots & lots of clinically depressed people on this board, and you sound like one of us. That’s right, us. I was diagnosed as depressed just this past spring. I’m now on meds, and boy, they have changed my life. I had no idea how depressed I was and how long I’d been depressed until one day, I wasn’t. I was in a genuinely good mood, the first truly “hey, things really don’t suck” mood I’d been in in over ten years.
I’m glad you’ve chosen to talk to someone. Could be there’s really nothing wrong, and you just get the occasional blue funk. But there could be something more. It’s definitely worth a look in to. Maybe you won’t need meds, maybe you will. But taking to a professional probably won’t hurt.
(((((Tygr)))))
If you need anything, you know I’m here.
Cristi
Jkayla and Tygr,
If I may be so bold, welcome to the SDMB. I am but a lowly, mediocre poster myself, but I feel I can safely speak for the rest of the good folks when I say, seriously, “no hard feelings.” Damned glad to make your acquaintances, and I hope we all have much meaningful and productive interaction in the future. Other posters, such as the esteemed polycarp, geobabe, and Persephone, showed much, much more wisdom than I did. They looked for a reasonable solution, whereas I flailed about ineffectually and posted an infantile rant. I apologize to you two and to the rest of the Board (it seems that I’m having to eat my words a lot around here, but I suppose it’s ultimately healthy, and is the only real cure for head-in-ass disease.) You have my best wishes, and you also have my email address (in my profile.) Shoot me something sometime. You two definitely seem like the type I’d like to get to know.
I too am glad you’ve decided to talk to someone. There is very little that’s new under the sun, and more than likely, there’s somebody out there who can tell you what’s going on.
So here’s to you.
Tygr hey, hot stuff, toss your glass and check your e-mail.
Tygr,
Apology accepted, especially since you didn’t single me out. You’ll remember from your reads of Callahans that individuals in the Pub always have varying responses, it’s the whole group’s outpouring of concern, no matter what form it takes that really works the magic.
The part I think you need to re-read (besides the fact that it’s always a good thing to revisit such a splendid work) is that Callahan’s doesn’t fix things. The protagonist fixes things. Callahans provides the warm loving support in the process, but they don’t stop ya from going to hell in a hand basket if that’s your choice of action.
You gotta decide. Maybe major despondency only hits once every six months, that doesn’t mean some time with a therapist you really connect with isn’t gonna do a world of good. As Persephone pointed out, there’s lots of clinicaly depressed people on this board. Doesn’t mean you’re one of them… but then again… doesn’t mean you’re not either.
For me… I may have reached that point for a while, but for the most part I just lived with one. I am seperated from (read) still married to a clinical depressive who got bad enough that I was opening all the mail, answering the phone, the door, paying the bills, anything that involved the outside world. The lone (hugely co-dependent) knight in the crossroads fending off the big bad world from the woman he loved.
She was on good drugs most of this time, but those drugs took away the highs as well as the lows. (not to mention the wreck they made of our sex life) What she wasn’t doing was staying in therapy, and trying different therapists till she found one she actually felt a connection with. I couldn’t fix things, and finally double suicide wasn’t just looking like a feasible thing, it was starting to look pretty damn good to me.
That’s when I got out and found a therapist I connected with.
Your plaintive message doesn’t sound anywhere near that bad, but it still prompts the best advice I wish I’d listened to years ago.
-Doug
Jeez. And I miss yet another group hug!
Any chance you got streaming vid for us on that unexpected, er, “apology”. Hmm. A braced jkayla. Be still my heart.
Holiday hugs and webbings to you. I hope you feel a little better by now (I came into this late, and haven’t been posting a lot lately).
[Arachnid hugs aren’t nearly so mushy as regular hugs; after all, we Spiders are cold blooded. So I hope you won’t mind]
----:)/
----///\\
I responded to your email. Everything is cool, in my book.
Seriously, as a longtime (5+ Years) particpant in #Callahans, I’ve seen it all. I’ve been through a lot. I could tell how you felt because I’ve been in that boat.
My cure was simple. I finally got married. Being single was getting me depressed. Now, I have a wife, two kids, and a good life. People can tell I’m happier these days. Heck, I even sound wise and mature sometimes. :eek:
Give the Mrs. a thanks.
[minor hijack]
Spidey, IIRC you sometimes read SF. Have you happened on Vernor Vinge’s A Deepness in the Sky yet? If not, get it: entirely likeable arachnids constitute about half the cast, their kids even keeping pet tarants.
[/hijack]
I used to link to alt.callahans but never posted, thanks to deja.com’s insistence on my signing up if I wanted to post and my inability to get into newsgroups except through them.
But it would seem we have the same berzerk circle of anal-retentive ignorance-combatters with hearts of gold about these parts, too.