The lamp looks to me like a piece meant to cover the rod is missing. Other than that, KJ these items are not ugly. They are simply out of place. The knight would work well next to a hearth, or standing beneath the built in bookshelves of a den. The clock requires a large space with a matching color scheme. But in the right room it would be stunning. The lamp would fit OTTOMH, an art deco room, a fifties retro room, or weird Ikea post modern geometric constructivism room.
You want ugly?
I used to have a 6 foot tall inflatable Frankenstein standing in the corner of my living room. He sprung a leak on one of his seams.
The dining room lighting fixture (a cheap faux brass faux chandelier) was boring. So I hung things from the arms-a chrome skeletal hand, a dark green zombie hand (a Mighty Max toy), a mutant spider/human head (action figure from John Carpenter’s The Thing), a one-eyed alien with suction cup feet (fast food toy from Small Soldiers) and wrapped around the last arm is the snake Alien from the Alien figures line.
My bathroom has a pair of fuzzy slippers tacked to the door. The slippers are white with black interiors. In bold black letters across the toes are the words “Bates Motel”.
Oh, there’s the couch. To me, it is an old friend and a thing of beauty. Most people see it as tacky or worse. Imagine if somebody had made a simple frame and placed on it three cusions. The bottom cusion is needed if you don’t want to sit on springs. But, the two cushions along the back can be moved for comfort or used as body pillows. The cushions are covered in a light brown fabric of a loose weave. Then, some one took a long spool of rainbow yarn and made the couch their tribute to Jackson Pollack.
I think you should splurge and get yourself a box of real tissue paper and a Tiki Head Tissue Dispenser. Your life will be enriched. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did!
DocCathode, I like your style! Anything that involves Frankenstein is very cool. I have my eye on the huge viking at the toy store in the mall. Almost as good as Frankenstein, but not quite.
Okay, somebody dispel my ignorance. What exactly is a snuff mull? Am I the only one who doesn’t know?
As for the OP’s question, I vote for the clock. That clock looks like it would go in an apartment decorated primarily in black lacquer, zebra print, hot pink neon tubes, and Nagel prints.
It’s a tabletop container for snuff, similar to a snuffbox, but much larger. Usually one would put it in a centralish location in a room and people would take snuff from it as they needed. (Snuff here is referring to the dry kind that one takes up the nose, not the moist kind that is dipped.) Traditionally they were made from ram’s horns – if you look at the linked picture you will see a little silver lid on the top of each of the horns.
Thanks, yBeayf. I don’t think I knew that people still used the up-the-nose type of snuff. It seems so Scarlet-Pimpernel-y – not that that’s necessarily a bad thing.
I have a Velvet Elvis that looks almost like this one, except the shirt is blue. The first thing I saw when I walked into my husband’s apartment for the very first time was a Velvet John Wayne as Rooster Cogburn (only his patch is on the wrong eye).
I knew at that moment that we were made for each other. Now our Velvets hang side-by-side on the bedroom wall.
I vote for the clock. It’s big, ugly, and shiny, and it serves no purpose. The lamp is functional, and the knight is at least someone to talk to at 3 AM after too much whiskey.
Dammit Eve, now that you’ve made everybody aware of how ugly that stuff is, how am I going to unload the gifts I get from the in-laws?
My contribution. This lovely item is made out of wallpaper. Not just any wallpaper, but the shiny kind. That little basket on the left is made out of corncobs and dried corhusks. They make a nice addition to the fake wood panneling. Don’t be jealous…
That is so romantic! I want the Jesus-and-Elvis-in-heaven! Stoner Jesus and Elvis on Drugs–now, that’s Art!
The marshmallow peeps hat takes ugly to a whole new level. It’s never a good idea to decorate your house with food. Or wear food. I’m not really sure what you’re supposed to do with this thing–eat it, wear it, hang it on the wall? Maybe all of the above.
Eye-Catching “Tree Face” puts a friendly smile in your yard! Realistically rendered in textured “bark”, this set of facial features is sure to charm all who pass by. Your “cheery” tree will become the talk of the neighborhood! Eyes, nose and mouth are each approximately 4" with attached hangers.
What it SHOULD say:
Hideous “Tree Face” transforms your yard into a vortex of horror. Skillessly slapped together with scraps of old tires and hot glue, this overpriced pile of crap is sure to psychologically warp neighborhood children for life. Your “cheery” tree will irreversibly damage real estate rates in your neighborhood! Eyes, nose and mouth are each approximately 4" with attached hangers, but you’ll probably need to spend 6 hours hammering them into your stupid tree anyway.*
