Hey Shirley—if you buy any of those tree faces, you might also want some of these to scatter haphazardly around each tree to further frighten the neighborhood children.
:eek: “It’ll gobble me up and spit out my shoes on the lawn!”:eek:
Back to the topic, I’d have to say that the clock is the worst. The fact that it does not work is the icing on the cake.
The knight is okay, but in my house he would end up wearing one of the many baseball caps my boys leave draped everywhere. I guess that would make him “functional” kitcsh.
The lamp reminds me of a hair-dryer at a beauty parlor.
My friend’s parents have TWO velvet paintings. One is a black toddler in profile, crying (I believe the teardrop is a rhinestone), and the other is a tiger in the grass. They flank the fireplace in their bedroom. They also used to have a ceramic rooster lamp. The chicken must’ve been 18 inches tall, in full color, with a lampshade stuck in his head.
Hell, their whole house is ugly - except for the bathroom they recently had remodeled. It was mirrored. Even in the shower.
I’ve got one of these in the library. One of the best gifts I’ve ever received.
As to the OP – I have to go with the lamp. It’s a good candidate for embellishment, though. Maybe you could glue rubber lizards to the outside of the shade. You know, give it some character.
I must say, for something was was originally just a blog entry of mine, this is probably the best response I’ve gotten out of a thread I’ve started. I’m amazed at what you guys have come up with. Suddenly my apartment is starting to look really nice.
I would have loved to have gotten my hands on that back in the day, when one of my best friends was a Pink Floyd fanatic. It would have suited him perfectly.
Another vote here for the clock being the tackiest. I think the knight is kind of cute, actually.
The tackiest item I have ever owned and actually used (finally sold it at a yard sale) was a Bozo the Clown telephone. It stood about 15 inches high; Bozo was the entire handset, and he stood on a little pedestal. His nose lit up with each ring of the phone, and he could be set to laugh maniacally instead of ring. To preserve the frontal view of his clownishness the keypad etc. were all located on Bozo’s back, but that meant you had to talk into Bozo’s butt.
I didn’t buy the thing, mind you. One of my old bosses was addicted to the OddLot across from our office, which was where he found the phone. He loved it, but his wife didn’t, so when I transferred over to another group he gave me the phone as a “token of his appreciation.” :rolleyes:
One day, I hope to be wealthy enough to live in a home that allows me to plug in all my phones. Right now, I have a Mickey Mouse in the kitchen and a Bugs Bunny in the bedroom.
In the closet are
Hawaian Punch
Silver plane on top/robot underneath
The Lego Phone
Bart Simpson
Coke Can
Heinz Ketchup Bottle (I never have gotten around to fixing the microphone)
A minimalist frog which is surprisingly tasteful. Incoming calls result in flashing red eyes and croaking. Unfortunately, after you pick up the last croak doesn’t die away for several seconds and must be shouted over. I’ve been meaning to fix that too.
I mentioned these in a thread about tacky crafts a couple of years ago, I think.
I am a crafter (jewelry), and I have seen row upon row of these creepy little dolls at craft fairs. They usually have a wooden body, PVC legs, and no face. I’m glad that the trend to make and sell them is mercifully starting to die down.
One thing that I will never forget is the day that we were all caught by a surprise downpour, and all the vendors had to load up their crafts into their vehicles as quickly as possible. The folks next to us had nothing but these dolls, and as the rain got worse, they started just throwing them into their van. As soon as my husband and I finished getting our stuff out of harm’s way, we helped the doll-maker finish loading up. The dolls, mostly toddler-sized, were stiff and landed in the van with a disturbing hollow “Thunk!” :eek:
I hate these things with a passion! One of my co-workers has one of these. It sits in the chair next to her cubicle. A faceless little boy, with one shoe off (it’s been sitting in the chair beside him for over a year). What’s really disturbing is when she throws a coat over him, and then the poor kid sits there all day being suffocated. Ew.
Those kids are the creepiest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Seeing them all lined up like that makes me think of some bizarre horror movie. It’s so disturbingly scary it’s somehow hilarious.
Everyone’s also probably seen Sports Jesus by now, but if you haven’t, prepare for the second coming of tackiness. (Although I would actually buy one of these for the humor value.)
That they’re lined up waiting to get it up the butt; or that they are sobbing into their sleeves, being emotionally traumatized for life by this punishment. Either way, why would someone want to have that anywhere near them?!
** Eve**, it was really weird watching people carrying around the “time out kids” that they had just purchased. They are stiff and very, very corpse-like when not balanced against a wall. Brrrrrr! The memories!
Did you see the “sleeping baby” further down the page? :eek:
On that Time Out Kids page, the little black girl with beaded braids say “Big Seller” next to it. Somehow, i don’t think many black people are buying Time Out Kids…
The Time Out kids, shouldn’t they be the Blair Witch Kids?
As for the OP, well the clock would be great IF YOU LIVED IN A TRAIN STATION!
But I think those little knights are tetnes shots waiting to happen.
For a while as a young teen, I had a sign for Marlboro cigs on my wall. I didn’t smoke but I found the sign in an alley being thrown away complete with a set of little letters so I could put messages on it. It was the kind you might see hanging behind the counter.
