Reconquer America? Must we? I was sitting here enjoying myself, quietly celebrating “We Got Rid Of The People Who Can’t Spell ‘Aluminium’” Day… now we have to take them all back?
No, I may have to be a conscientious objector here. If you have to, you can conscript me as a stretcher bearer or porridge carrier or some such, but I refuse to take up arms in such a cause.
Did you go to the same university as me? If so, I’d heard that the mis-spelling on the matriculation card was deliberate to throw off forgers (since it was correct elsewhere on the card background). Curious…
Reporting for duty <fashionably late - think Lord Flasheart, flash by name, Flash by nature, but always in the nick of time> 
I have already begun working, I have extolled Brynda and her family the virtues of Thorntons toffee and they were immediatley taken in by it sweet, creamy flavour. It is a potent weapon, any and all who try it immediately succumb to it’s wiley charms. I am also working on the kids, with gifts of Mr Men books and Bob the Builder. This work should pay off in the years to come.
I am also using my British accent to full effect.
Rick
Reminds me of a routine from Eddie Izzard
"I went into a burger joint in Rotterdam and asked the clerk 'do you speak English(However you say it in Dutch)
The guy looked at me with such a face and said ‘Yeaaaaaah’
and it was such a wierd face, such an agast face, and I realized it
was the eqivalent of going in and asking ‘can you count to three?’"
Well I’m not sure about the spelling, but here goes…
Sprecht u Engels?
Ain, tway, dree
and for my finale
het ontbeit is klaar!
Heck - that would be a coincidence, Crusoe Mine was St Andrews - what about you? It once spelled itself “St. Andews” on a matric. card. I still have it lying about somewhere.
Now, Francesca, you just watch yourself. Every red-blooded American is given fireworks and lots of 'em on this day, and if you start pushing the King of England in our face again, we’ll just … uh …
Um …
Yeah! We’ll get all Guy-Fawkes on your arse!
So THERE.
(He did manage to blow up Parliament, right… right?)
Ah, close but no cigar for me. I was at Edinburgh. The background of the matric card had “EDINBURGH” repeated in tiny, pale letters, with a random selection of them written as “EDINGBURGH”. I’ll ask my sister if she still has her card; she was at St Andrews more recently.
Um … no, he didn’t.
Um … no, he didn’t. That’s why it’s still there.
No - Guy Fawkes, “the only man to enter Parliament with honest intentions” did not succeed in his plan to blow up the (English) Parliament. His cunning plan was foiled.
Ino, nope. He was caught in the act, in a cellar fur of gunpowder and tried for treason.
Joke: failed.
Apparently the American sense of humour is even more subtle.
If, by subtle, I mean ‘pathetic’. 
One thing’s for sure: now, both Americans and Dutchmen alike will bitch at you because of improper spelling.
[sub]Nah, just kidding, impressive enough! Well, I still hate you for that world cup joke, of course.[/sub]
Damn my slow fingers
:smack:
And when we’ve succeeded, they’ll be thanking us for it, every November.
I can’t wait for the invasion. It’ll be so fun seeing all these confused Brits running around trying to convert all our proper English measurements into their farcical Metric system and trying to find a Starbucks that will take Euros.
When all is said and done they will go back to their homeland with only a “We tried to conquer America and all we got were these lousy t-shirts” t-shirts.
Euros? Euros? Good old pounds and pence, my misinformed American foe.
Note to allies: I have enlisted the aid of The Shetland Ponies Welfare Society. We have a cavalry. Also, a travelling brigade of morris dancers have volunteered their small wooden batons for waving purposes. We can’t lose.
Psst – we don’t use Euros in Britain. And most of us still understand both metric and imperial.
I see we’re successfullly lulling you chaps into a false sense of security!
It’s not a false sense of security, it’s a bloody truthful sense of ingonrance. And that is number one reason why your plan will fail:
Invader: Look chap, we’ve conquered your town. Have the decency to surrender peacefully.
Merkin: Huh? Are you related to Fergie? Want a Big Mac?
Invader: Now see here, we’d really appreciate it if you’d stop all this nonsense and just start pledging allegiance to the crown again. It is the old gal’s Jubillee year you know.
Merkin: Who? Sharon Osbourne?
You see, you cannot conquer the already defeated.