Ukulele Ike is a Busy, Busy Beaver

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

You must have noticed the recent dearth of Ukulele Ike hereabouts . . . He and I keep in touch, and I thought I’d let you know that he is way too busy these days to check in with the likes of us. He tells me he gets up at 4:30 a.m. to start his daily chores; but I know he’s joshing, as there is no such thing as “4:30 a.m.”

I thought I would start a Chores List, so we could all pitch in and help him out! I volunteer to take the kiddies, Little Banjo and Pianola, to get their haircuts. I know this guy in the village who does great beehive hairdos, and can even re-create 1930s finger-waves. They’ll be the envy of the playground!

Anyone else?

2

I’ll read all his junk mail and spam.

3

Eve said BEAVER! (blushes in horror)

4

I shall darn his lederhosen.

5

I shall damn his torpedoes.

6

Can I be in charge of hitting the “snooze” alarm? Either that or I’ll feed the cats.

7

I’ll refill his tin of mustache wax.

8

I shall alphabetize the spice racks. After I iron and refold the road maps.

9

I shall make mad, passionate love to Ms. Ike.

10

I can play the Ukulele.

11

I’ll fertilize too as long as it’s the yard.

12

I’ll wind the clocks.

13

I’ll make his cigar ashes for him.

14

Contrary to popular belief, some of us routinely get up at 4:30.

15

I’ll be the one who doesn’t button the bottom button on his vests.

16

I’ll make sure the coffe pot is always full of fresh, hot, yummy, coffee.

17

I’ll put up the cyclone fence around his beaver.

18

4:30?!?

[crotchety old geezer]

Why … I haven’t gotten up that early since I was young enough to stay up that late!

[/crotchety old geezer]
And I shall press Ike’s suits.

Preferrably, up against Eve’s quivering body while I’m wearing them.

19

I shall Remember The Alamo, on his behalf.

Heck, I’ll even Remember The Maine. :smiley:

20

I shall shiver his timbers.