$#!+ I know I hit preview that time! WTF am I doing wrong?
I quickly distract your Department Store Perfume Sniper-woman with Mr. T.
My attack? The last 1/2 hour of any Saturday Night Live broadcast.
"The World’s Longests Fillibusters" hosted by Ben Stein can be turned into a laugh-riot by **Mike Nelson, Gypsy, and Tom Servo **.
I should save this for an emergency, but it’s better to be a strong agressor. Before you can recover from laughing at Jesse Helms’ hijinks, I launch Regis Philbin into the arena.
Did you all hear that? Regis Philbin is in the arena.
Feh.
Anyone knows that the proper counter to a play of Lynn Bodoni is good chocolate.
Amateurs.
Magdalene I call upon the mystic powers to make Mr. T bend over and pluck out all the dingle berries from his tush… Ouch!!
Bailey gets old-school buy suggesting that your ** Mike Nelson, Gypsy, and Tom Servo** entry is easilly beat out by the decidedly more winning combination of ** Joel Robinson, Tom Servo and Crow **
In invoking such heavy-duty artillery, however, you have left your own ** Regis Philbin ** vulnerable to the undermining power of ** Mockery **. What do you think, sirs?
to_be_announced, Mr. T is so 5 minutes ago. What is your response to ** the last 1/2 hour of Saturday Night Live** or Regis Philbin.
Milossarian is as wise and crafty as he is handsome. We must not let him regain upper hand.
The last 1/2 hour of Saturday Night Live is easily counteracted by Psylocibin Mushrooms I Ate When the Show Started – now even Chris Elliot would be funny!
Regis Philbin is manhandled off the stage when I invoke Rowdy Roddie Piper and then finish off anybody left standing with Imelda Marcos’ Shoe Collection!
People, people, people…
I didn’t want to have to do this, really I didn’t. I was perfectly willing to let you off lightly with an attack of the aglets, or maybe some fava beans and a nice Chianti. If pressed, I figured I might have to use Dan Fogelberg’s Greatest Hits to restore order, but things have just gotten completely out of hand here. I can see some stern discipline is needed.
Arrayed against you all, I give you:
Everyone in the world named Bob! :eek:
(Impressive, n’est-ce pas?)
Hmm…particlewill enters the ring wielding A Nutjob Shoe Fetishist to eliminate **Imelda Marcos’ Shoe Collection! **
He then cuts loose with Underwear That’s Been Under My Bed For Over a Year
Okay, for that, I can use the aglets…
Everyone in the world named Bob can be eliminated by Jennifers born in the early 1970’s. No contest.
Underwear that’s been under my bed for over a year falls before the partially biodegraded condom in jr8’s wallet. heh heh heh
Shazam! I give you An ice-cold glass of Perrier, with a twist of lime.
Your ice-cold glass of Perrier, with a twist of lime is a clever move. So to counter, I drink it. In fact, it’s quite refreshing! Thank you. I was feeling a little parched from all this effort. Now, back to the melee!
To render you helpless, I’ll soften your defenses with a Jerry Springer Episode: Men Who Sleep With Their Girlfriend’s Ex-boyfriends, And The Women Who Love Them Both! As you lay defenseless and dazed, I leave you all to suck on my Second-hand Smoke, as I light up to celebrate my victory!! And I don’t even smoke. How do you like them apples (previously utilized with great skill by jr8)?!!
Your “Jerry Springer Episode: Men Who Sleep With Their Girlfriend’s Ex-boyfriends, And The Women Who Love Them Both!” is both blocked and countered at the source.
I throw in the knife weilding moyle with arthritis who lunges after Springer in an attempt to complete the job he started decades before.
Your attempts at buttering me up won’t work, mags. (But feel free to continue.)
A knife-wielding whatever is rendered a simpering, thumb-sucking momma’s boy when exposed to the sheer force of the condescension of a French waiter serving an American wearing a cowboy hat and and ‘I’m With Stupid’ T-shirt in a Paris bistro!
Your Frenchman goes insane with hunger upon sighting the **giant gorgonzola cheese wheel **
(insert French laugh)
Now Take back your stupid videogames too…HOUGH HOUGH HOUGH…
(NO offense to any people in France, living, dead or otherwise…)
dang forgot the bold ending …its ** French Waiter ** to a ** Gorgonzola Cheese wheel **
I’m back…
Watching you Roshambo amateurs is getting old. It’s time to attack with:
Both the retired Tara Krystal Lapinski AND Brian Boitano
Both the retired Tara Krystal Lapinski AND Brian Boitano are cut down in their post-prime by Tonya Harding with a Tire Iron!!
And I retake the field with a vicious Garden Weasel attack!
Garden Weasel…big automated scissors, yes?
Rock.
::Lobs a Magic 8 Ball into the arena::…See if you dare interprest its inscrutable answers!