jr8, your riposte (especially the links) nearly made me fall out of the ring laughing. I salute you.
::magdalene looks around the arena, watching the whirling eddies of attacks and counterattacks, realizing all her worthy opponents are embroiled in single combat with one another. Seeking to maintain her reputation as a vile temptress, she cocks an eyebrow and invites everyone back to her place for a deep tissue massage with scented oils.:
Music’s biggest oxymoron Fatboy Slim is just like any other pop musician; he’s had his 15 minutes of fame. His songs have been played out, rendering them usless in the field of battle.
I’ll wontonly attack with the gum on the bottom of my shoe in one hand and a 2x4 with a rusty nail in the other.
Oh, magdalene, indeed you are successful in maintaining your reputation as a temptress. If only we could share in an intimate moment of a deep tissue massage with scented oils. How you lure us into your web of lust like a black widow!. I am mesmirized only temporarily, but regain my composure and project the image of Bob Dole in a teddy to drain any prurient thoughts that may linger and repel your libidinous advance!
And to press the attack, chew on a 2-week old Rice Cake gone stale! Pbthh!!
And, cykrider, you don’t get off so easily. I see your gum on the bottom of your shoe in one hand and a 2x4 with a rusty nail in the other with a well-placed banana in the tail-pipe, and I raise you with Tom Jones Dripping with sweat!! Just try to stay dry!!
Busta Rib, your ** 2-week old Rice Cake gone stale** is devoured by Oliver Twist. “Please sir, I want some more!”
Who will dare don this pair of lederhosen?
Lederhosen? You fiend! I thought those had been outlawed by the Geneva Convention!*
Fortunately, they can be nullified by the song stylings of Eric Cartman! (“I will do my German dance for you, tralalalala! Would you like some sauerkraut, German boy, German boy?..”)
Eat falafel![sub] That’s not actually my attack; you just looked a bit peckish.[/sub]
And now that you’re refreshed, beware of…The Dog!
[sub]*not to be confused by Liederhosen, or “pants of song”, or with Leiderhosen, the infamous “pants of pain”[/sub]
Lederhosen? You fiend! I thought those had been outlawed by the Geneva Convention!*
Fortunately, they can be nullified by the song stylings of Eric Cartman! (“I will do my German dance for you, tralalalala! Would you like some sauerkraut, German boy, German boy?..”)
Eat falafel, vile fiend![sub] That’s not actually my attack; you just looked a bit peckish.[/sub]
And now that you’re refreshed, beware of…The Dog!
[sub]*not to be confused by Liederhosen, or “pants of song”, or with Leiderhosen, the infamous “pants of pain”[/sub]
Commentator 1: Oh no! jr8 commits an Accidental Double Post Error and knocks himself out! That dog is gone!
Commentator 2: Yes, and he’s left the floor with no outstanding attack. The field is wide open for anyone to come in and claim ownership!
Commentator 1: You know, Bob, I haven’t seen an error of this magnitude since 1972 when Englebert Hogenbogenflogen attempted a double attack of Swiss yodeling and Fisher Price minifigs and ended up inadvertently inhaling a plastic chicken.
** Commentator 2:** You just made that up, didn’t you, Chet?
Commentator 1:: Yes I did, Bob. Now back to the action…
[Testing, testing, 1 2 3. Is this thing on?]
Clean up, aisle 5!!
Meanwhile, in the South American broadcast booth…
South American commentator 1 to South American commentator 2: What does it mean, “A little help!!”?
Am I correct in observing that there is no active attack in the ring (since the dog is no longer a valid threat)?
Well, just to be sure, I’ll try on the pair of liederhosen…hmmm, comfy! Just like the pair my Opa (Dutch for grandfather) gave me, complete with cerimonial knife and everything…Nice!
Fall to your kness before the attack that I’ve since forgotten because this page has been erased a number of times while checking back on things.
[sub]Yeah! Deal with that![/sub]
Am I correct in observing that there is no active attack in the ring (since the dog is no longer a valid threat)?
Well, just to be sure, I’ll try on the pair of liederhosen…hmmm, comfy! Just like the pair my Opa (Dutch for grandfather) gave me, complete with cerimonial knife and everything…Nice!
Fall to your knees before the attack that I’ve since forgotten because this page has been erased a number of times while checking back on things.
[sub]Yeah! Deal with that![/sub]
SUNUVA…!
<having learned from the previous competitors error, ts planned ahead>
I challenge you now with end of the day mind blanking out coupled with extreme frustration after thinking of and promptly forgetting really good attacks.
Clean up, aisle 8!!
Hmm… is it me or did thinksnow just defeat himself?
Anyway, I’ll take your end of the day mind blanking out by introducing the concept of good notes. As for the extreme frustration after thinking of and promptly forgetting really good attacks, all you need is a little patience to overcome frustration.
Meanwhile, I will take advantage of the lull in the attacks to smite you all with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate, in the company of my cat. Enjoy 
After weathering the apparent Universal hiccough that shook the Rochambo Arena and effectively incapacitated jr8 and thinksnow, Busta Rib re-enters the ring to do battle. I brush a good book and a cup of hot chocolate, in the company of your cat aside like a lint ball and rain The Three’s Company Laugh Track Stuck on an Infinite Loop on you!! And while you are stunned and the iron is hot, I poke you with…a hot iron!!! Squeal in pain, you sissies!!!
A hot-iron is no matter for a “cool” guy like me. (I’m so punny :p)
As for Busta Rib I’m sick of using silly items. Enough is enough, I’m taking you on mano-y-mano.
:: cykrider runs over and picks Busta Rib up and shoves his/her head into a dirty boiling grease trap at McDonalds.
Not only did I hurt Busta Rib but I did the world a favor by shutting down a McDonalds due to health regulations.
I am stricken by pity at seeing Busta Rib in the jaws of a dirty boiling grease trap at McDonalds.
Breaking the Seven Seals of St. Hymen, I unleash Dawn (It gets grease out of your way!)
And my assault follows immediately: Urinal Mints!!!
Re-invigorated after a nigth of drinking,ts sees urinal cakes challenging him. Hmmm, thinks he, then <flash> insiration strikes!
Even the pee cutting strength of cakes is no match for great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts!
Inspired, he rounds on the lulling crowd, dishing our carnage at every turn: schroedingers cat and** all the tea in China** spring forth, shocking all with the sudden totalitarian might only a born Rochambo fighter could muster. Truly, these fighters are men among men, and women…among 'dem broads. 
Ah, the joys of Rochambo Fighting in the early morning…
But ho! What is this? New attacks? Blast! And I was about to plant magnolias… I must stifle this impudence.
So you dare to assail me with Schroedingers cat, eh? Face it, the cat can be dealt with by merely opening the box. Nothing could be simpler. As for all the tea in China, I’ll give it to my girlfriend, who has a great affinity for the stuff.
With that settled, I am free to deal my devastating attack, that taxidermists nightmare, a collection of stuffed cows!! Beware lest my embalmed bovines beat your blasted butts into oblivion!
Le Sang returns to his gardening, as his horrific herd heads off the heavy competition for a while.