I was at the train station once, minding my own business, waiting for the train, and reading a book. A guy comes up and waits with me. A few minutes later, “would you happen to know when the train is coming?” I tell him, go back to reading my book. A few minutes later, “would you happen to know what time it is?” I look at my watch and tell him, go back to reading my book. A few minutes later, “would you happen to be interested in getting a blow job?” I managed to somehow stop myself from laughing, but I did have a small smirk as I said “um, no thanks.” And went back to reading my book at which point he wandered off… I guess it was sort of creepy, but I also admired the pure bravado. It didn’t seem like the sort of area where one would go expecting to find other willing participants in that sort of thing.
Probably on the same website where they sell the baby Jesus butt plug. 
I daresay a thread titled “Gee, thanks a lot for letting me suck your cock!” would garner almost as many views.
There are some things you should definitely lead up to more gently.
Oh absolutely! I’ll send you the bill for therapy.
I especially love the bullet point, “New natural colors available specific to the Dragoness”
Snakes In A Drain!
Wow, a perfect title for a porn film!
Thankfully, she didn’t need a song to help her remember exactly what to do…
[spoiler] *Stow your pickle, keep your lettuce!
Social Disorders do upset us.
(Don’t make me use my Baretta!)
Go on your way…!
Go on your way,
Get the Hell on your way!
Go on your way, you Pervy Thing!!!* [/spoiler]
As fo Stoid, I’m picturing Hank Hill opening an email and saying, “Well, that sucks. Or not…” 
Good times. How’s Debbie doing, btw?
Well I figured I’d been well and truly fucked already, so…
It’s funny because he stole her rake. That’s like over-the-top cartoon villainy right there.
All I can think of after reading the OP is the old joke:
Q: I’m an optometrist, not a psychiatrist. Why are you telling me this?
A: I’m telling everybody!
I have to admit it cracked me up as well.
And BTW, I’m a guy.
So my friends and I have been trying to figure out where the hell this came from, given that this guy is seriously anxiety plagued and there’s been zero hint in our interaction of this being a thought of any kind.
Two possibilities, and maybe it’s a combination of both:
He borrowed $1.50, no problem
He borrowed $2.00 no problem.
He borrowed a couple of Xanax, no problem.
He borrowed a weedwhacker, no problem.
So he thought he’d just see if it would also be no problem for him to…well, borrow my mouth.
The other one is that I am known for being extremely easy to talk to because I’m almost completely judgment free and nearly impossible to offend. I do my utmost to create a safe space for people to express themselves frankly without fear.
And I guess I’m just way better at it than I even imagined…
Well, I live clear across the US from you and I’ve heard only rave reviews…
I blame MILF porn.
Probably could have saved 10 bucks…
So why didn’t you?
You probably shouldn’t give prescription medication away and there’s probably a reason he ran out between scrips. My opinion is my cite, but I think the kind of people that pass around pills like they’re candy are also the kind of people that aren’t too hard to get casual sex from.
Oh God I hope that’s not true, because otherwise I need to go have THE TALK with my mom. She gets prescribed all sorts of stuff that she has no intention of ever taking, and then passes it out to anyone it might be somewhat applicable to so “it doesn’t go to waste.” I’ve not managed to convince her yet that she doesn’t need to fill the script if she’s not interested in taking it.
Damn, I really don’t want to tell my mom about diaphragms.
You lead a very sheltered life, don’t you Bob?