Ummm...this GQ thread is incredibly dirty

How so I unstick a stuck stopcock?

I was just skimming through random GQ threads that I have absolutely no interest in (as is usual for a Thursday afternoon at work), and I came across that one.

And this is what I read:

Of course, my initial thought was “Ah yes, all in a day’s work for the SDMB.” Then it hit me. Wait a minute! What’s all this about stop washers and gate valves? Is this some kind of new slang the kids are using these days? And where’s the TMI warning in the title?

It did take a while to dawn on me that all the dirtiness was in my mind, and these people are being serious. OK, I’m sure that “crimping butt connectors onto a thrust regulator” was a joke, but the other posts seem quite genuine (although I’m not entirely sure about A.R. Cane’s first reply – it seems a bit too perfect).

So can someone please reassure me that my mind is not some dirty place brimming with homoerotic thoughts, and that a “normal” person who is a bit too tired and just skimming through that thread might read it a similar way? Please?

Dunno. Certainly I’ve not read the thread in question.

But given that the thread on the lack of amateur lesbian porn had, last I looked at it, turned into a discussion of the relative merits of Marmite, and Vegemite, why shouldn’t a seemingly innocuous thread turn dirty?

Especially if it starts with the word stopcock
Which reminds me of of a guy I used to know. Before I met him, he and his wife earned degrees at the University of South Carolina, whose mascot is a cock. A Gamecock to be specific. And apparently the school had recently started emphasizing the Game part of the name.

The guy walked across campus one day wearing a shirt which said “Go Cocks”

'Bout the fifth time in 5 minutes he got a funny look, he decided maybe he needed to wear less provocative clothing in the future.

On the South Carolina Campus, no one thought twice about the shirt, except maybe those in administration.

No, I giggled myself to death the whole time I was reading it as well. But what boggles me more is your power of time travel.

… I just read your location… and I’m an American idiot.

Thank you for bringing that GQ thread to my attention though.

“How do I unstick a stuck stopcock?”

Try saying that quickly three times!

Exactly what I thought.

The obvious answer would have to be: “With a chopstick.”

How many stuck stopcocks would a chopstick unstick if a chopstick could unstick stopcocks?