Yes, several. Race, socioeconomic status, and height are my personal Big Three.
So if a woman is simply not physically attracted to a five-foot tall man, should she be shamed for her involuntary feelings? Explain please. Same for all three you mention.
(bolding mine)
Ain’t no “involuntary” about it. Part of truly growing up is analyzing the biases that have been nurtured into oneself by a shallow society, and working within oneself to neutralize said bias. It’s a long process, but very much doable. All three of what I mentioned fall squarely into the “nurtured-in bias” category.
People who claim such things are “just the way they are” are being quite disingenuous.
There are no ‘unacceptable’ reasons to not do option X; “I don’t want to” is the only reason for not doing something as intimate as dating.
Think of the old raffles/whatever in which the prize was a ‘date’ with someone.
Just how much like a real date did the winner get?
30 seconds at the studio/station with bodyguards? “Hi - I’m famous person. This was your date. Bye”.
Is the videogame called “Leisure Suit Larry?”
It doesn’t matter. If you don’t go on the date you can never again whine about being lonely and you can’t meet anyone. It’s not acceptable to turn down any date when you’ve been complaining that you can’t one.
Bullshit. So me not being attracted to men is voluntary. And why, if not, is that any different?
So I use a wheelchair. Would the fact that I am limited this way be an unacceptable reason not to date me?
You’ve got it backwards. It’s acceptable to turn down any dates and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. You should however stop whining, agreed. Or instead whine about how you only get offers from completely unsuitable people, and your listeners are then entitled to criticize you if they think you’re sabotaging yourself.
Ambi, you’re making this thread all about yourself (and yes, we’ve all done that.) But personally, I would find it unacceptable in myself* not to date a woman in a wheelchair especially if, like you have, you she nonetheless developed her physical fitness level to its full potential.
That old trope “confidence is attractive” really means that this person is truly honest with him or herself. And taking care of one’s health is a measure of that. But it’s not the only measure; and in many cases I’m sure you’ve observed in insecure gym rats, it’s a smoke screen against that self-honesty. So it’s a case-by case thing. Same as the encounters we’ve all had with self-entitled handicapped assholes make that a case-by-case thing.
*and this is the rub: “unacceptable” is determined by how we answer to ourselves in the end, not just according to common consensus.
Sounds like a great way to waste time. Because there are many Christians who think you are a lost soul and take it that you being an atheist as a challenge to convert you. Or maybe that’s what you are really looking for, someone who is going to want to “save you” so you can have a confrontation about it.
It’s perfectly possible for an atheist & a religionist to have a healthy & happy long-term relationship. It merely requires that both parties be open-minded enough to permit the other to live as they prefer. It certainly helps if both parties are also not totally et up by the issue. Chauvinism is one of humanity’s ugliest traits. Don’t do that.
Where it can, and often does, fall apart is where one or the other insists on more than the above. “I can’t (won’t) be happy unless you do X” is a recipe for failure.
As such I think sputnikkk’s approach has at least the potential to succeed. Yes, he may have some first dates with unsuitable chauvinists. OTOH, he won’t be filtering out the more mellow ones.
A male friend was dating a woman. They broke up last year. He’s currently seeing someone new.
Today, you ran into his ex at the laundromat and you hit it off. You’d like to ask her out, but you don’t she’s still “his girl”.
I agree that being picky about dates while complaining about not being able to find one is dumb, but I think that any of the ‘picky’ things is valid on its own, what I would find not OK is the person refusing to accept that their lack of dates is because of their choices and not those mean wemminz/menz. For example, if you decide to not date anyone your own age that’s a legitimate choice, but I’m not going to be sympathetic to your ‘plight’ if you’re an over-40 person guy who only wants to date 18-25 year olds.
Nope. Sorry. If you already whined and moaned then now you have to go on the date. That’s the way it works, you took up my time before, now you pay by going on a date. A date with a perfectly nice person, and nobody gives a fuck about your video game score, so get off your ass, get some decent fucking clothes on, and go on the date, and goddamnit you better have fun!!
I strongly disagree, from first hand experience. The problem is when the religious partner makes clearly sub-optimal decisions from “magical thinking”. He or she believes that if they make a particular decision that is statistically likely to be a bad idea, and for whatever reason, he or she believes that this is the decision god wants, then he or she can’t be reasoned with and the obvious catastrophe eventually happens.
Also, sometimes things go right, and then the religious partner is super smug because he or she got lucky in his or her bad choice.
I have always found it interesting that it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to not date a man due to his short stature, yet it is totally unacceptable for a man to not date a woman due to her small breasts.
No.
I strongly disagree with (this one particular reason for) your strongly disagreeing! My ex-wife used to do the exact same thing minus the religion part. Drove me nuts. She’d say, “I’m going to do X.” I’d say something akin to, “Well, I’m not sure that’s going to work because of A, B, and C.” She’d do X anyway. A, B, and C would happen, and then she’d be pissed at me for a friggin’ week, despite the fact that I wouldn’t even hint at an I-told-you-so. Also with the smugness if someone else agreed with her on something she and I disagreed about. Some people are just stubborn to the point of absurdity. It’s heartbreaking to be in a relationship with that. What sucks is that it doesn’t really manifest, or you don’t pick up on the pattern, until a while into it.
Open-minded bisexual seeks someone into B&D, leather, fisting, cosplay, corprophilia, and bestiality.
No weirdos please.
Regards,
Shodan