Or their coffee mug. Better yet - don’t even touch their mug unless specifically told to.
Oh, forget all that bunk about how ships are fueled by JP5, Uranium, or other claptrap. Just watch the ship stagger around when Suppo lets coffee supplies disappear, and you’ll see what the Navy really is powered by.
If ever you find yourself in a group of military types from all around the world, make friends with the Aussies, and buy them the first round. You won’t have to buy another the rest of the night. Besides the fact that they all look like they could’ve been drafted in the first round as middle linebackers.
Don’t piss of the company clerk. He might only be a PFC, but the 1st Shirt and the CO hold him in high regard. Your entire squad will have you to blame for the next few weeks while you all perform the most onerous details known to the military.
If you can swing it, become the Mail Clerk. Army Regulations (at least when I was in) stated that the Mail Clerk will have no additional duties. You only have to work about two hours per day (except around Christmas), and you can’t get assigned CQ, Duty Driver, etc., duty. Smooth.
-Never bring a military vehicle back in proper working order.
-When they tell you to bring “a couple extra pairs of socks”, bring 6.
-Machine gun barrels can glow red hot and you can actually see the bullets going through them if you don’t change them out. This is an excellent way to get balled out for destroying government property.
-Poke a pinhole in the middle of your red flashlight filter for night ops to better read maps and shit.
-When going out on patrol in the middle of the night, be sure to stuff your pockets full of candy (or something with a lot of sugar). And pass them back.
-Twice as much shit can fit in your rucksack than you thought possible.
I joined the same year and was highly amused to discover that. But I figured if I was going to get a job that diudn’t involve the possibility of being killed, I shouldn’t have joined the Army.
Some real things I learned that I specifically learned first, or most prominently, in the Army:
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A task will fill up all the time you allocate to its completion.
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If someone is teaching you something and you think it’s stupid, there’s a very good probability that you don’t comprehend the big picture.
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Don’t trust urban myths. (The number of professional soldiers who think “Shooting a person with a .50 cal is agains the Geneva Conventions” is embarassingly enormous.)
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No matter how bad things are, it’s always better to deal with stuff as a team.
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Many hands make light work.
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Many hands make confusing planning.
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It’s not enough to know how to do your job; to be really good at it, you have to know why you’re doing it.
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You have to learn things in order. You are not going to join the Army and be Rambo out of the gate; you can’t become Mr. Amazing Soldier before you have learned the basics, and you can’t be an effective leader before you’ve learned how to get along with people. It takes time to become good at what you do. This applies to all jobs; if you just got out of university, accept an entry level job. You’re not going to be Senior Director of Important Things when you’re 23 years old, and if you are, you’re working for a doomed company.
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Be kind and understanding with people you work with who do different jobs, especially support functions. Yes, it can be frustrating to deal with red tape, but they think so, too. No matter what you do, your function is not the end-all and be-all of your organization unless you’re self-employed. This applies to all jobs, military and civilian.
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If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, don’t say it at all.
My ex-FIL took that a step further and always said, “If someone is passing out donuts, always take one.”
He was Navy (old-school subs, the real deal).
All good advice, not just for the military, but for non-military life as well.
Oh yeah. I was approaching Hatch AAF when a transmission light came on. I, young student pilot called in’
“Hatch, this is Romeo 1234, I have a transmission light and am putting down three miles to your south on the approach.”
(Pause)
(Pause)
“Can you give a grid?”
Student ATCs are fun too.
Little guy came out in a truck to rescue me and the aircraft (he had a crane to put it in back). He dropped me off at the hospital to be bled. The light was just some fuzz on the detector I was told.
==edited to ask==
Do Navy guys still report incoming GU-11s?
Army guys hide behind TR3Es.
I think it depends what part of the Navy you’re in. Neither engineering, nor subs, seem to have that one. Of course, my only exposure to it is the same way I am familiar with sea bats: Through reading accounts of those squids who actually are expected to see the sky on a regular basis.
Reserves -
-Be your own career manager
-Don’t blade someone
-If the MCpl starts calling out cadence, chances are someone is off
-You can sleep in a bed without disturbing the covers/sheets
-Always authenticate orders over the radio
-Hurry up, and wait
-Get on the bus, get off the bus
-Mentally - you can go a lot longer than your muscles think
-If one fails, you all fail
-If you start out perfect, how can you improve?
-Take care of your men/troops first
-Take care of your feet
The number one thing:
It’s all a game, don’t take it personally
Venezuelan frigates have no working evaps - if you are going to be sailing on one for a while for an exercise, you’d better bring baby wipes.
(This may become relevant again when Chavez leaves and we make nice with the Venezuelans again.)
If a military vehicle catches fire while you are driving it, it makes no sense to grab the maintenance log when getting out. In fact, if you do, come to your senses and throw that fucker into the flames.
Unless you are presenting something and are coming off of a watch, junior personnel should never show up at a briefing late. It is better by far to miss the whole thing and catch up later.
Yes, but they usually turn out to be CGU-11s or B1-rd’s.