Air Force/Army Carrier Integration

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

Let me begin by saying I, too, would be out of my element if I found myself TAD to a foxhole.

This week the Army and Air Force have brought out a few helos and their crews to test their ability to integrate and operate with a Navy carrier. This should be the basis for a sitcom.

For lunch the first day, we go all out and serve steak, crab legs and clams.
Typical soldier reaction: “Wow! Can I go back for seconds?”
Typical airman reaction: “Well, if you only have porterhouses, can I get that medium well?”

I’m busting my ass, trying to give directions.
Me to a sailor: “Head forward on the port side passageway five frames. Turn outboard at the scuttlebutt. And ascend the ladder through the hatch.”
Me to a soldier: “Take that hallway, turn left. Go through five kneeknock… I mean go through five of those step-hole thingies. Make a left at the water fountain. Go up the ladder… Huh? Yeah, stairs. Go up the stairs and there’ll be a big door thing in the overhead… OK! In the ceiling. It’s through there.”
Me to and airman: “Follow me.”

I’m receiving more salutes than ever. For you civilians, this is wrong. First of all I’m enlisted. Secondly, I’ve never had a lobotomy.

Air Force officers are afraid of me. The sent their tech sergeant’s to get info from me. Army officers come to me directly. They are afraid of their sergeants.

Soldiers get very offended when you call their OH-58D Kiowa helicopter “cute” and ask how many tubes of model glue it takes to assemble one. (We still haven’t found the remote controls!)

“Yes, major. Even though your ‘chopper’ is as big as a house it still needs to be chained down.”

“All hands field day” means everyone cleans the ship. And that’s a swab not a mop.

Even though you are a guest here, you still have to take a navy shower. (Two minutes to get wet. Turn off water. Shampoo. Wash. Rinse for two minutes. You’re done.)

The skipper will not slow the ship down even if their is a lot of wind coming across the deck when you are jogging. Normally, we rarely get to jog up there anyway.

Light integrity is important.

Even chiefs wait in line for the smoke decks. on’t even think about cutting ahead of me.

No, there isn’t a bar aboard.

No, we’re not pulling in early.

And at the end of a busy day,
Chief: “I’m going to the coop and hit my rack.”
Soldier: “I’m gonna go crash.”
Airman: “Oh, valet?!!”

#2

I should say that these guys/gals are busting their humps trying to fit in. They do an awesome tough job. And I’d be just as lost if I found myself attached to a wing or platoon.

I’m just making the point that it takes a different kind of person to be a sailor.

#3

Amen to that Chief

When I was a BU3 I spent 3 weeks at NCBC Gulfport for a school. There are a lot of Air Farce and some Army booters there. (fresh out of boot camp, for you civilian types)
I was getiing saluted all the time! They saw that crow sitting on a branch on my collar and must have thought I was the world’s youngest colonel. I still laugh at that, I mean I was 23 years old! That would be some kind of high-speed fast track career.

#4

By God, Chief that was funny! I can relate to a some degree. I served 9 yrs as an MP, but first and foremost I was a grunt. Getting posted to an air or navy base was always a treat!

#5

I was in an Air Force field kitchen (CKT), when I’m on line behind a few soldiers, and they turn around and are like “Wow! Sausage for breakfast? And fruit?!?” really freakin’ loud. I could just hear the cheifs’ eyes roll . . .

**

Well maybe if you didn’t have that “Goat Locker” thing, or whatever satanic little room you have . . .

**

Wait, my bottle of shampoo says “repeat”. I want a second turn . . .

**

This is why the Navy sucks.

**

But you have no bar. What’s wrong with you guys? Hell, even my AEF has a bar. . .

Tripler
Just a few key observations.

#6

Just one thing . . .

But you said you hadn’t had the lobotomy?

Cover!

#7

First of all, I gotta thank the Chief for a great laugh! Before moving last year, I spent 10 years as a bartender on a Navy base, and the differences between the services are so “on the mark”! As a lover of Marines though, and being married to a former one who spent time on “those goddamn grease cans”, I’m just curious to your take on jarheads aboard ship.

Second, in those 10 beer slinging years, about 5 of them were spent running the Chief’s club so I just have to ask…

HOW on earth did you make Chief without the prerequisite lobotomy??? Or is this the “New Navy” I’m hearing about :smiley:

p.s. How’s them cheerleaders holding up?? LOL

#8

Damn Chief, those guys are insulting you with the salutes!

I am a Chief Petty Officer, I don’t get drunk.
If I get drunk, I don’t stagger.
If I stagger, I don’t fall down.
If I fall down, I fall on my left side so everyone thinks I am an officer.

The above was one of several numbered statements I had to memorize for my initiation, many years ago.

The Air Force guys can’t hit anything they shoot at anyway, “Aim High”.

#9

No no no . . . It’s now “No one comes close.”

C’mon. I mean, I’m beating up on my own branch here, just so you can get it right. . . Jeez.

Tripler
CE, so I blow stuff up by hand.

#10

Tequila,
The officers get the lobotomies! And I’m sure you’ve never served a finer, more well-behaved group of folks than my fellow chiefs.

#11

Soldiers get very offended when you call their OH-58D Kiowa helicopter “cute” and ask how many tubes of model glue it takes to assemble one.
[/quote]

Damn! That is the funniest thing I’ve read in days. :smiley:

#12

Huh! Ever hear of plunging fire?
Thanks, Chief! Great stuff. I think I’d stand a little better chance navigating aboard ship then some others.
You forgot to mention that when they hear the sound of running feet and someone shouts “make a hole” they need to press themselves against the nearest bulkhead.

#13

This “purple” crap (no offense to purplebear) would be funny if it weren’t so scary. As ChiefScott and I discussed over a few, the Marines already have the weapons, equipment, training, and organization to fill these jobs, the Army and Air Force are looking for jobs since the Cold War is over. Tequila, thanks for the love and admiration, Marines talk the same lingo as the taxi drivers, er, I mean Sailors. Bulkhead, scuttlebutt, overhead, etc… Confuses the hell out of the boots. “Frames” were really the only thing I had to learn in my nine glorious months as a guest with our Sister Service. And on the lobotomy issue, I realize Navy officers get theirs at SWO School (as an Ensign), but Marine officers don’t get theirs scheduled until the make Field Grade (Major). The scrambled eggs on the bill of the dress cover is there to identify the scrambled brain behind it. I know. I am one.

I did an exercise at Fairchild AFB as a Marine 2ndLt. We set up shelter halves, di security patrols, had weapons and sensors set up next to the side gate, caused quite the rubbernecking traffic jam every morning. They had never seen tactical.

Marines have “barracks”, airmen have “dormitories”. Marines have “Chow Halls”, airmen have “cafeterias”. Marines always capitalize the word “Marine”; soldier, sailor, and airmen are not capitalized, as a rule.

ChiefScott, good luck with the flyboys and dog faces. I wish I could be a fly on the bulkhead, but I’ll leave it to you and the professionals. It’s a shame the final report will say it was a glorious success.

#14

I guess a [ / b ] would have been appropriate.

#15

Just making sure we’re getting the proper emphesis, right, UB??? :smiley:

#16

Actually, IIRC, per CNO directive a few years ago, Sailor is now capitalized.

#17

Tequila Mockingbird: You are not married to a former Marine. The only former Marine is Lee Harvey Oswald.

ChiefScott: When I was an ensign in 1990, my cruiser went on a WestPac with an AF sergeant assigned TAD to our SSES space, working with our IS1. He was still onboard…

…when we crossed the Line. Poor fellow endured it like a trooper, but I always felt a little sorry for him: he’d go back to his Air Base, show people his Shellback card, and it wouldn’t even mean anything to them.

I’ve been a civilian again for nearly eight years now, and you can barely see my lobotomy scar anymore.
—Trusty Shellback Five

#18

I don’t doubt CNO issued that directive, the title is capitalized on http://www.navy.mil, but apparently CNN didn’t get the memo, not did Knight Ridder or other news agencies. The media still uses lowercase, in a quick search I’ve conducted, in stories specific to the members of the US Navy. This isn’t an interservice rivalry thread, ya’ll sailors drive boats real good. :slight_smile:

#19

Most civilian media use the Associated Press Stylebook and Libel Manual (Addison-Wesley http://www.aw.com/gb/) as their Bible for usage. The AP Stylebook indeed urges the capitalization of Marine.

When Admiral Mike Boorda was CNO he issued a directive that Sailor was to be capitalized in all Navy publications. When we to external releases we still lowercase sailor as well as use the Stylebook guidelines for military titles.

Oo-rah!

#20

My husband was in the Army for 14 years, and my brother was a Marine. Let me tell you that family get togethers are some fun!
But then again my brother was the first Marine out of a long line of Air Force. Don’t think he didn’t get any shit.
When any of them get talking in their little code, I am totally lost.
I asked my brother once if he pressed his BDUs’ since my husband wouldn’t let his first wife do it since she botched it. He had no idea what I was talking about. Um, Camies? Oh, yeah, he did those since his wife can do them either.
MOS? Click? Even their paychecks have initials. LES? It took me forever to remember that one. And they have a certain cord that has a number to it, and so when I ask Scott where it is I just ask for the 2020 cord. I can never remember, and it is always a different number when I ask, but he is getting good at knowing that is what I am asking for.
When I first my Scott, and when my brother came home on leave I felt like Danny DeVito in Renisance man when he first got there and they were trying to tell him how to get to where he was going. But unlike him, I never have caught on.
I have learned how to tell Army and Marines by the way they wear their BDU jackets. They roll the sleaves differently.
See, I am taking small steps, but I will get there.
I was also told that you don’t salute the enlisted men since they work for a living.
So, I will be watching this thread to see what else I can learn about the Navy and the Airforce, and I am sure that when Scott gets home he will have me put in his two cents for him.

Carry on.