Let me begin by saying I, too, would be out of my element if I found myself TAD to a foxhole.
This week the Army and Air Force have brought out a few helos and their crews to test their ability to integrate and operate with a Navy carrier. This should be the basis for a sitcom.
For lunch the first day, we go all out and serve steak, crab legs and clams.
Typical soldier reaction: “Wow! Can I go back for seconds?”
Typical airman reaction: “Well, if you only have porterhouses, can I get that medium well?”
I’m busting my ass, trying to give directions.
Me to a sailor: “Head forward on the port side passageway five frames. Turn outboard at the scuttlebutt. And ascend the ladder through the hatch.”
Me to a soldier: “Take that hallway, turn left. Go through five kneeknock… I mean go through five of those step-hole thingies. Make a left at the water fountain. Go up the ladder… Huh? Yeah, stairs. Go up the stairs and there’ll be a big door thing in the overhead… OK! In the ceiling. It’s through there.”
Me to and airman: “Follow me.”
I’m receiving more salutes than ever. For you civilians, this is wrong. First of all I’m enlisted. Secondly, I’ve never had a lobotomy.
Air Force officers are afraid of me. The sent their tech sergeant’s to get info from me. Army officers come to me directly. They are afraid of their sergeants.
Soldiers get very offended when you call their OH-58D Kiowa helicopter “cute” and ask how many tubes of model glue it takes to assemble one. (We still haven’t found the remote controls!)
“Yes, major. Even though your ‘chopper’ is as big as a house it still needs to be chained down.”
“All hands field day” means everyone cleans the ship. And that’s a swab not a mop.
Even though you are a guest here, you still have to take a navy shower. (Two minutes to get wet. Turn off water. Shampoo. Wash. Rinse for two minutes. You’re done.)
The skipper will not slow the ship down even if their is a lot of wind coming across the deck when you are jogging. Normally, we rarely get to jog up there anyway.
Light integrity is important.
Even chiefs wait in line for the smoke decks. on’t even think about cutting ahead of me.
No, there isn’t a bar aboard.
No, we’re not pulling in early.
And at the end of a busy day,
Chief: “I’m going to the coop and hit my rack.”
Soldier: “I’m gonna go crash.”
Airman: “Oh, valet?!!”