** Inspired by the Unflattering Names for Automakers thread **
Waffle House - Awful House
Taco Bell - Taco Hell
Jack-In-The-Box E-coli-In-The-Box
Others?
Wack-Donalds
Booger King
Grease-tal (Krystal Restaurants, the southern equivalant of White Castle)
Dread Lobster
Pizza Slut
Taco Bell = Toxic Hell
My father used to call Hardee’s “Herpes”.
Pizza Butt
We always call White Castle “Armpits”,
because of the joke that ends “well, then you don’t want to see how he makes donuts.”
McDucks for McDonald’s
I-hope for IHOP
Roy Roger’s oatburgers
Fucks for In-and-Out Burgers
I don’t need to come up with unflattering names for restaurants… after all, if the restaurant is bad enough, just calling it by its regular name is unflattering enough.
I’ve always called Burger Heaven “Burger Hell” (especially since its logo is a leering cow in a chef’s hat holding a steaming hamburger!).
But there are some REAL restaurant names that give me pause. There’s an Indian joint in New York called “Mysore” (OK, I know that’s the name of a place in India, but still!). There used to be a Chinese (I think) place called “Puki” (pronounced “pukey”). And is the “Drooler’s Delight” chain still around? I do hope not.
A few years ago there was a deli on West 41st Street called “Baby Jane’s.” When I noticed it had changed management and names, I rushed in eagerly and asked the counterperson, “Whatever happened to Baby Jane’s?” He looked at me blankly and said, “they went outta business.”
Idiot.
An old co-worker always called Burger Heaven “Burger Purgatory.”
And don’t forget the Fu King Chinese restaurant on Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn. They should have added a smiling, wise old lady to their sign (an Asian Aunt Jemima), and called her “Mother Fu King.”
Abdows = Scabdows
There used to be a restaurant in Chincoteague, VA called “Fingers” which just conjured up all sorts of revolting images, at least to me…
Real names of restaurants in S.F. seen over the years:
Yu Phuck Happy House
Happy Immortals - seafood served in a shack about to fall down, not too “Immortal” looking at all.
Lucky Penny - Chineeese food, you can guess how good for 1 penny.
Little Henry’s - we know the owner - Chineese owner, and all Chineese crew serving up Italian fast food! No one named Henry there for years.
Always called Jack in the Box “that fine French Dining Establishment, Jaques en le Box”
Taco Bell - Taco Smell
McDonalds - The People Who Fried Trigger
Chevy’s is Chevy Chase
T.G.I.F. is G.D.I.M sometimes.
I always called Burger Heaven - Burgatory
We have a Chinese Restaurant Wei Mei - of course, that’s Why Me?
And, somehow, Mr. Lee’s has been transformed to the extremely accurate Mr. Lee’s Supa Gresy Polk Flied Lice.
Like many of you, Taco Bell = Taco Hell
And, those big ol’ Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, KFC’s in the same building are Kentaco Huts.
Jack in the Crack
Actual restaurant names that I always found truly horrible:
RAX
(oh man, I don’t feel so well…I think I’m gonna RAX!!!)
Food Port
(near Kalamazoo, MI.)
The Ham Center
(Warren, MI)
Murfreesboro , Tennessee’s City Cafe----A.K.A That Place I Got Food Poisoning!! :mad:
Has anybody else noticed a pattern of restaurants with fire-oriented names (The Flame, The Embers) burning down? If I had an insurance company I’d be real suspicious when somebody came in wanting a policy for The Char House.
Jack-in-the-box :: Jack-in-the-PINE-Box
I nearly had a BigGiantHernia laughing when my ex came up with this one after the E. Coli scare in the 90’s…
Slight hijack - I remember, when Denny’s was facing boycotts and lawsuits over alleged racial discrimination against it’s customers, that several people started calling their “Grand Slam” breakfasts the “Grand Dragon” breakfasts.
For their high-fat content foods, Perkins == Porkin’s.
Here in KC we have a couple “Jack’s Stack” BBQ restauarants, where Jack’s Stack == Jack’s Crack.
Fun, fun, silly-willy!