Lately Mr. Tech has taken to showering before bedtime instead of in the morning. He puts on deodorant prior to going to bed. Boy does that stuff stink. A few nights ago I tell him that it stinks and he says it smells better than the alternative: no deodorant. I tell him to buy unscented because what he’s wearing stinks to high heaven, an argument ensues, followed by spectacular sex.
So, while in Target last night, I decide to buy Mr. Tech some unscented deodorant. No big deal, right?
WRONG!
Who comes up with this stuff? The descriptions for the scents are equally mind-boggling stupid and laugh-out-loud hilarious! Lightning (so it smells like ozone?), Cool, Fresh, Mountain Rush, Musk (???), Icy Surge (huh?), Avalanche, Cyclone (wha…?), Alpine Fresh, Pure Sport (that can’t be right…) and Team (gah?).
My favorite had to be Clean Impact. Clean Impact! What does that mean? What does that mean?
I finally found one (!!!) type that came in unscented but it wasn’t an invisible solid. After standing in front of the men’s deodorant section for eight minutes, I finally left empty handed and more confused about men than I’ve ever been before.
I switched brands awhile back when Old Spice’s formula change gave me a rash. After a baffling experience like yours, I took a stab at Speed Stick’s “ocean surf.” It’s pretty innocuous, faintly like soap. It doesn’t smell like any ocean I’ve been in. At the end of the day, it smells better than my sweat. It smells a hell of a lot better than any anti-perspirant I’ve tried.
I just checked. It’s a translucent material with a blue tint. It’s more or less solid; a fingernail dragged across it leaves a groove. When applied, the armpit is not visibly blue.
I use Degree, but the variety of men’s scents boggles me, too. And I’m a guy. Presumably this stuff is marketed to me. But I don’t know the difference between “Ocean Sport” and “Mountain breeze”. I usually wind up brainlocking and grabbing something random while I run away.
Oh, and no women ever slink up to me and go “Is that Man O’ The Mountain Deodorent? I love that!” So I’m guessing they don’t care…
I’m sorry, this works on me. I have no brand loyalty to deodorant so everytime I go to the store I stand there and look at all the clear solids (Right Guard and something else) and pick the one that sounds the best. I am easily fooled by such words as clean, alpine, cool, surf and wave. I then pick one up at random, open the top about 1/2 inch and take a whiff. If it’s not repulsive, I take it.
Never even thought about it before now. My next deodorant outing will now be a 30 minute ordeal. Thank you so much.
I’ve tried nearly every brand under the sun (I have sensitive skin in my armpits for some reason) and the only stuff I can use is Arm and Hammer Deoderant. No smell at all (me or the deoderant).
Isn’t armpit stench supposed to be a turn-on? I thought it had to do with pheromones or something. Maybe the sex could be even more spectacular without the deodorant?
No, like a real swimming pool. A 90-minute workout with the team in the morning and I’m chemically de-scented for two or three days. Well, de-scented if you don’t count the faint swimming-pool smell. I think in the past ten years I’ve bought two, maybe three packages of deodorant.