Unless this guy walks on water, girl, you owe me $500.

My ex-girlfriend–the only thing that has ever come between us is distance–invited me to travel across the continent to visit her, so I bought tickets. That was two months ago. My flight is scheduled for the weekend after next.

Today I got an email from her, saying “I met someone … the kind of someone where I don’t want to mess things up … we’ve been dating for 2 weeks.”

Doesn’t want to mess things up, huh? What the all-singing, all-dancing, as-seen-on-TV, holy deep fried flaming fuck does she think she just did?

I bought tickets two months ago. We’ve both been looking forward to this for several weeks - or at least, I have, and she’s been claiming to. She knows the tickets aren’t refundable… in fact she asked me. About two weeks ago. But she saved this little scrap of information until today.

I haven’t been trying to start up any relationships in the past several weeks because I know that’s an asshole’s move. If I had invited her to spend two weeks’ pay to come and visit me, and then I pulled a stunt like this, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

So unless this guy is so goddamn amazing that she was literally unable to resist… unless he has a beach house in Maui, his own jet, and a 14-inch dick… she has a lot of fuckin’ 'splaining to do. And I’m only half joking when I say she owes me for the tickets if they go unused.

I say use the tickets and “mess things up” for her…:smiley:

But that’s my initial visceral reaction, and probably bad advice.

Even if the tickets are non-refundable, you may be able to get credit for them on the purchase of new tickets. So, take a trip to Vegas and party your sorrows away…and revel in the knowledge that you’re averting worse future pain if the relationship hadn’t ended.

I think she should pay you for the tickets. She fucked up, not you. I wouldn’t even be “half joking” about it. What’s more of a piss-off is that she knew about this two weeks ago, and asked you if they were refundable. If you think about it, the reason she didn’t tell you about this two weeks ago was because she was waiting to see how it worked out with this guy.

If your tickets WERE refundable, she would have told you two weeks ago. So she figured she might save you the money by giving it some time with this guy to see if it was worth telling you not to come.

I know it doesn’t appear that I’m helping things, but I’m being realistic which I’ve always found refreshing in these situations. I hate the typical “time heals all wounds” “yeah, what a bitch/asshole” “other fish in the sea”.

When it comes down to it, if you don’t get your money back, consider that you paid two weeks’ worth of salary to avoid hooking up with her and being in a long-distance relationship with someone who could so easily stray. Bargain if you ask me. Pity her water-walking new guy.

I second An Arky’s advice. Make the trip, and enjoy yourself!

Also, if you were entertaining any delusions about ‘ex-girlfriend’ becoming ‘re-girlfriend’, I hope you’ve become ‘de-deluded’, Mr2001.

I am sorry Mr2001. At least she didn’t meet you at the airport with this information, you know, “glad you came, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

I had a boyfriend do that, sort of. We had been talking off and on for about 3 years about me moving to the same city so we could explore whether we had a future. So I got myself a job in his city and prepared to move there. This was about a three month process. The day before I was supposed to leave, and was making sure he was going to be there to pick me up at the airport he told me he had met someone. and that it was serious. The job was good so I went anyway, and even went to their wedding.

About five years later he arrived home one day and found that the house had been stripped, even the dog was gone. She dissapeared with everything they had including the bank accounts, then later sued him for divorce claiming desertion, which he didn’t find out till it was a done deal. ( He still lives at the same address with the same phone number)

Sometimes I feel a little petty that I sort of feel a bit of satisfaction that marriage ended that badly

Ahhh, $500 well spent my man. Her actions speak much louder than everything she’s said, no? Do not be turned into her little puppet: jerked around for her amusement. She would have probably played this game with you for quite a few more years if this trip hadn’t forced her hand.

At least now you can forget about her and the past.

In three or four weeks when she writes back(“I know you’re mad at me, but…”) and tries to patch things up (euphemism for reattaching the puppet strings), just ignore her.

I had a guy do that, sort of. In his case he had an ongoing family emergency (which I totally sympathized with) but it caused him to totally forget that I was scheduled to come visit him over a number of days, despite many many discussions and mailed confirmations that I was coming on a certain date. So, the night before I was to drive to see him (I had packed, gotten the car all checked out and my AAA TripTik), I talk to him and he says I can’t come because of this family emergency.

I totally understood, but dammit, I had packed. The car was ready to go. I had to go somewhere.

So I went to Colorado. Had the BEST TIME EVER.

I think you should make lemons out of lemonaide and do your best to maximize the enjoyment of those tickets. I think you should be able to change the one ticket to a different date (with a penalty fee) but maybe that’s only on certain tickets. But I’ve always been able to do that, no matter what kind of deal I had with the tickets.

Good luck to you!

Sounds like a typical chickenheaded bitch to me.

You should rejoice that she is your ex.

I’m really sorry for what she has done, that is exceptionally tight of her but I have to thank you for literally making coffee gush out of my nose with this line! I’m sure (like my sinuses) you will recover from this and come out the other side stronger and better for it. But I have to second (or possibley third?) the idea of you using the tickets, maybe not to go and piss on her fireworks but definatley to go and let off some of your own.

After a stunt like that, I wouldn’t want “ex-girlfriend” to become “re-girlfriend.”

That really does suck. But at least, as already said, she didn’t introduce this information as you got off the plane.

Well, it turns out the ticket can be used for credit, but I’ve asked her to pay me back anyway. There isn’t really anywhere I want to go.

Using the tickets as-is isn’t an option. Maybe if she lived someplace nice, but she lives in a tiny town a couple hours from Fairbanks. I have no desire to spend a week and a half in Fairbanks by myself; if I want to be cold and bored, I can stay right here in Spokane.

If she has any class at all she will offer to pay for the tickets even if you don’t ask.

And if she doesn’t offer to pay for them, I’d demand it. Then I’d remind her that oral contracts, which you and she had and which many conversations confirmed, are enforcable by law.

I don’t think the oral contract angle has any meat to it. She said I’m still welcome to come visit - as if I’d want to spend a week watching her fawn over some new guy.

Note: below info is 12 yrs old and give tongue in cheek.

Fairbanks has THE BEST buffet. I normally hate buffet cause you get pretty bad food at them, but the buffet in Fairbanks was yummy. Best chicken noodle soup I ever had–I don’t usually rave about chicken noodle soup either, but this stuff was great, mmmm mmmm good.

You can use your tickets (minus a fee) usually up to 1 year later, so go ahead and use them.

I don’t mean to sound insensitive here 2001 but uh, you picked a chick from Alaska? I mean, nice state and all, but isn’t the ratio like 3 men for every woman? Your odds were bad in the first place dude, so if you do use the credits to go to vegas, stick with the slots, and stay out of the sports books.

That said, good riddance to bad rubbish, and I’d do everything I could to get her to pay me back for those tickets, including phone messages and e-mails that her new beau might overhear or see.

Heh, well, she’s been planning to move down here for a while. Her latest plan is to move in August. Who knows if that’ll ever happen, though.

I’ve had that happen to me. She offered to pay me back but I wouldn’t accept: that would prove that I was going out of my way to try to meet her, and I didn’t want to admit that.

PLUS, it was to travel to a northeast city to see a band in concert that weren’t coming down here to Orlando, and at the time I not only didn’t want to deal with the plane flight (which I still wouldnt want to deal with,) but was also too shy to want to bother with cabs, etc. to the concert, without another person with me.

The stupid thing is, SHE DIDNT EVEN GO TO THE SHOW! And I STILL HAVENT SEEN THE BAND!