/me raises hand.
Wha…? Oh… you meant from you… oh… well… ummm…
I got one hand down my pants and the other clutching the remote. Anyone wanna toss me a High Life for my beer cozy?
Billy Rubin, will you accept $1 in change for the wild beard ride? I found some nickels in dave316’s couch. They’re sticky though.
I love landscapin’!
I’m growin’ me a whole mess of couch taters. That old furniture out on the lawn was a-sproutin’ weeds, so I ripped out the stuffin’, and tossed in some seed taters and some ole catalogs fer compost. The couch is harvest gold, so’s I might as well get a harvest from it.
I also have an old deep-freeze with no lid in my back yard. I’ve turned it into a fish pond, with feeder goldfish and minners. I had a coupla nice catfish in there, but I think someone caught and ate 'em. Oh well, the water’s all green now so no one can see the fish anyhow.<shrug>
I also have a toilet planter next to the fish pond, but mine don’t have a tomato plant in it. I thought it would be a hoot to stick a real big cactus in there, so’s that’s what I did!
I got me a huge length of red fake fur for two bucks at a yard sale. It about covers the old black naugahyde recliner that’s sittin’ next to the couch taters. That plastic stuff gets damned hot in the summer sun. I’d burn the back of my thunder thighs every time I tried to set in it of an afternoon. Now I can sunbathe in comfort, as long as I keep the wasp spray handy. Them wasps like the red as much as I do.
I’m riggin’ up a bitty trailer fridge next to the recliner so I can keep my pop handy and my Mallo Cups chilled. Nothin’ tastes as fine as a chilled Mallo Cup in your own backyard.
Life is good…
If you guys have oreos, you better have salsa!
<starts dipping the oreos in salsa and muching away hapilly>
mmmmmmm
Pass the Bondo.
Are you going to eat the rest of that MRE?
God your mother’s farts stink.
gets out his banjo and starts plucking the theme from “Deliverance”
:MachV wanders into thread, glo-stick in hand:
Hey, is this the chill out room?
:plops down between Mermaid & F_X:
Hey, y’all got any water?
Pass me a few more PBRs and we’ll talk.
Don’t you wish you could get all the people you’ve hurt in your life, purposefully or inadvertently, together and give them a big hug and say you’re sorry? That’d be cool.
I won a $46 jackpot at bingo about 11 years ago, I’m still pretty jazzed about it.
For my purposes, dial-up internet does just fine.
That Britney Spears seems pretty popular. I should give her music an honest listen.
"Hey, y’all!! Watch this. . . "
BOOOOOOM!
Massive explosion in the yard involving a model airplane, kerosene, manure, and the loss of all Abe Babe’s facial hair.
:Skulks to the couch in his Camo pants and black “Kansas” t-shirt, sits down, looks at F_X and says,
“Hey, sensuous. Sensuous up, wanna get me a beer?”
(And I do use internet dial up, fer real)
Hey, you know that little fan I got clipped to my dashboard, ever since my air conditioner stopped working? Well, I was on my way to KFC and I looked down to change the radio to the “all country, no rap crap” station, and I rear-ended some old bitch’s Lincoln. Now, I don’t have no airbags in my 85 and 1/2 Escort, so I hit the dash pretty hard. Dang, that hurt, but when the little fan started slicin’ into my eye, that hurt even more. But shoot, I look FINE in my little eye patch now. You have no idea how many men want to boink me now that I’m disabled.
Seems like every time I put that hook back on the front door it gets stripped out again, so just move the cement block out of the way when you come in.
Want some PBR? Date’s still good. How you like our new table? Got out of that new park that opened last week. Had to wedge a TV Guide under the back leg, but at least the table’s level, even if the trailer idn’t. Don’t know how that back strut got buckled like that.
See our new naughahyde couch? Found it on the curbside the other day. Had a few holes in it, but I patched it up with duck tape and the smell’s about dried out. Roberta don’t like settin’ in it though, she says it makes her butt crack sweat.
Hey, Springer’s about on. I might have to wad up some more alumium on the antenner to pick it up. They cut off the satellite dish a while ago. Roberta dries our clothes on it now.
Hey, Abe Babe, I’m from Missouri too. Oh, glory be-- you ain’t got no eyebrows! Kewl! I wonder how my old man would look with no eyebrows. Right now he only gots one eyebrow, and it runs plumb acrost his forehead.
I just dug some spuds outta my couch for the gang. Anybody got some lard so I can fry 'em up good?
<smacks eunoia in the face with a glove so hard it leave a mark on his driver’s license photo>
I take your eclusionary attitude to be an insult. All the fat chicks (and skinny ones too) are invited to my unpretentious thread
Speaking of “Harvest Gold”, I got my brother’s Neil Young album right here. Who wants to listen to it? Then again, who has suggestions for unpretentious music?
What about chocolate chip cookies and salsa? Now, that is some good stuff right there! Or, even better… dip them in BBQ sauce or ice cream!
Let’s see… what would be a suitably unpretentious brand of water? Definitely not Evian or Aqua Fina. How’s about some no-name brand water? Like from London Drugs or Safeway? I have a big 4-litre container right here…
:looks at him levelly and says, “Git yer own damn beer, man! Goodness knows, you could use the exercise. While you’re at it, get me a beer, too.”:
F_X
Evidently, Unpretentious = White Trash Inbreds
What a strange interpretation, FNRFR.
I’d take exception to your characterization, FNRFR, but I’m out in the yard hoisting the engine block out of an El Camino and I can’t really hang out in the Unpretentious Room. Anyone wants to bring a six-pack of Schlitz Ice out to the yard and hang with me there, you’re welcome.
Or…
Unpretentious = My New Neighbors, whom I affectionately call “The Bubba Clan”,
Appearing Soon!
at a pit thread near you.
I’ll just take this empty & fill it up in the bathroom, thanks. Water’s water, right?
Oh, and can I put in my Foreigner CD now?