In this thread Spritle has us developing our talent to be pretentious. Pretentiousness is a dangerous game. Once you start, you may not be able to stop. You may get beat up someday and have no idea why. As a public service, this thread is for those who need to get the pretentiousness monkey off their back.
This zit needs a-poppin’ toot sweet!
I file my store coupons by expiry date and you wouldn’t believe the money I save.
I’m scared. No, really.
Fried chicken tastes good.
Fried Chicken? I believe Caroline had some last weekend at her Hamptons estate. I didn’t eat any, as I assumed it was for the help. Probably not, as Uncle Ted was seen sneeking pieces here and there. However, as Hillary warned, just because Ted eats it, that doesn’t mean it’s edible.
I must have the cook prepare some.
Ta!
:: sneaks into the thread, furtively slaps a few bumper stickers on, and scurries off ::
Gas, Grass, or *ss, no one rides for free!
Keep on Truckin’
–scout, cultured extraordinaire 
Hmmm getting hungry, time for another gubmint cheese & bologna sandwich.
:Mermaid waddles into the thread:
Hey when did this get here?
Where’s the buffet?
Who the hell does eunoia think it is and why does the invitation specify -No Fat Chicks?
No Fat Chicks? I’ll show him/her/it some No Fat Chicks!!!
Takes pretentiousness monkey off Eunoia’s back and beats him/her/it about the head and shoulders with it.
Then eats it! 
Yeah, why can’t fat chicks be unpretentious and chill out?
F_X
Hey, can someone check out this yellow toenail I gots? Think it’s gonna fall off, or can I tape it back on?
Who wants Oreos?! rips open package
Who brought the Moon Pies and RC Cola? I brought BBQ pork rinds.
::puts on “Moustache Rides $5” T-shirt::
Hey, wanna look at this cool scar I got?
Play some Skynyrd! Freebiiiirrrrd!!!
try again:
:: Puts on “Moustache Rides $5” T-shirt ::
Mmmmm… Oreos… Mmmmmm
Hey, got any white chocolate dipped double stuffeds in there?
Check it out, this sore on my second roll of fat just stays open and oozes pus from time to time. Neat, huh?
And that’s Moustache rides free, wild beard rides, $1. Can’t believe the pretentiousness of people to think a moustache ride is worth $5. The noive.
b.
(And widdershins, I’m NOT casting aspersions on your moustache rides, I’m sure, were I interested, that they are worth their weight in gold)
Please tell me I got whooshed by the “No Fat Chicks” directive in the title.
I’m having a chocolate milk shake. My truck needs fixing.
i got this couch at the flea market for $5 i know just where to put it In the front yard between that toilet / planter that has the tomato plant in it and the flatbed truck on blocks
people goin to think i went uptown
Hey, kid…pull my finger!
Me 'n my kids spent a couple hours at the Wal-Mart SuperCenter today. We bought swim trunks, flipflops, a sports bra, 36 cans of Alpo[sup]R[/sup] dog food, a reel of Weedeater string, two six-packs of Pepsi, a case of Sam’s Club root beer, and an assortment of groceries, including, but not limited to, bananas, pretzels, and an entire Fully-Cooked-Ready-To-Eat smoked turkey.
.
Any straight boys want a blow job?
Not even from straight chicks, matt. But I’ll trade you a good back rub for another in kind.
Dammit… I really needed to chill out, too 
:::schleps her fat back out the door:::
I haven’t been to a postmodern “white trash” do like this since the opening of the Tate Modern. You know, like the Guggenheim, but not so jejeune.
All for under $100, am I right?