Unprofessional jerk, advice needed on how to deal with him please.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ok, a bit of background. I’ve done something (don’t know what, I have arthritis, and haven’t been to active lately due to my recent hysterectomy, that’s proably a contributing factor) to my left hip that won’t let me lean to put on my pants, or socks, won’t let me really put weight on it. I’ve also injured my right knee. I was prescribed physical therapy for both, and it’s working.

Yesterday I was at my P.T. appointment, doing the excercises my therapist gave me and conversing with her. I made a partial statement along the lines of “I’m in good shape for my age…” This is exactly what more than one doctor has told me, though I know I’m not “in shape” for me. I have put on a bit of weight since my hysterectomy, and am no longer able to run cross country.

Another male physical therapist broke into the conversation to interrupt with “No, you’re not!” I affirmed that I am, and he again argued with me and said “No, you aren’t” in a offensive manner, letting me know by tone of voice and expression he didn’t find me attractive. (No big loss there, in fact I’m glad of that.) I looked him in the eye, and asked him how old he thought I was, he stated correctly (ooo, he knows how to read my chart) that I was 31, then stated “I’m 32, and look at me I’m fit.”, and stretched up long and proudly as he did so, obviously showing off his “fit physique”. I then stated to my therapist “I hope he never gets arthritis in most of his joints, because I don’t think he’d be able to handle it!” loudly enough for him to hear, and said “I also hope he never has surgery, and get his stomach muscles cut, to have an organ removed, because I think he’d be a big baby!” for his ears too.

I fumed about it all day yesterday, because whether I’m in shape or not, it’s not his place to break into my therapy session, and be rude. I’ve given myself a day to cool off, and I still think that something needs to be done about his behaviour, he obviously thinks he has every right to do what he did. I don’t think it’s beneficial, nor is it professional, and I wonder if he’s done it to others. I think maybe there was even a touch of jealousy in his actions, because I was there with my young, handsome husband, obviously a good deal younger than me. (I was having a pretty bad day, could barely move, and my pain etched features made me look older, combined with my halting steps.)

So, what’s the best procedure here? Tell the person not to speak to me again because I find their attitude offensive? Talk to his supervisor, or the hospital manager and tell them what happened? Tell my physical therapist I want him to stay away from me? I’d like his behaviour to be put in check, I’d like to make sure he doesn’t do this to anyone else, like some poor little older lady who doesn’t need unkind words in her time of pain.

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All of the above. Doctoring (or even physical therapying) is a profession, and that sort of behavior is definitely UNprofessional. If this is one of the people attending to your therapy, he definitely needs to be sent to some sort of sensitivity training, vain boastful *ss that he is.

–SSgtBaloo

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Awesome first post, Sarge. Welcome to the boards.

I fully second your statement. Fight, Zabali.

4

Welcome SSgtBaloo. I had wondered if even speaking to him again might cause an uproar that ended with him calling hospital security on me, because “he felt I wasn’t behaving”. Though I would be. I’d just tell him calmly that I found his attitude offensive, and that I didn’t want him speaking to me again. I get the feeling that this would evoke a hostile reaction from him though, and the situation would escalate from there. I know enough to walk away, but I wouldn’t doubt that he’d be the type to take revenge by calling security on me, and I’d be escorted off hospital property.

5

Even if you were in terrible shape for your age and just deluding yourself, he had no business sticking his nose in. Did he think he was helping? Did he think your PT didn’t have a handle on things. He could use some lessons in common decency, manners and diplomacy.

Find out who the head of the PT dept. is and write a letter describing your experience. Make sure your PT knows that his comments aren’t welcome in your sessions.

And good luck. I hope your hip and knee get better soon and you’re back to your old “in good shape for your age” self. :slight_smile:

6

“Sir, although you have a smidgeon more practical experience in evaluating relative physical fitness than I do, I truly feel that I am more fit for my age than you are. Allow me to demonstrate.”
Then you kick him inna fork.

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robertliguori Hehe, therein lies the rub. I’m in good shape for my age, got a decent figure, (get carded in liquor stores because my face looks under 21, and actually my figure is not as “ample” as several of the HS students around here) and good muscle tone/strength, can walk a couple miles with ease as a whim etc.

I had to give up running because it was too hard on my joints a while ago, but I still walk almost everywhere I go. Except that right now, my range of motion is very limited, I am just starting to bend my left knee again and put weight on my left hip when I walk, and also starting to pick up my feet and put weight on my knee as well. The doctor told me she didn’t even want me walking without the aid of crutches, but I didn’t want to atrophy any more than possible, so went without, would have Mr. Clawbane give me a hand up stairs etc.

I had an ackward shuffling gait worked out that put weight on my left knee, and my right hip, so I could even get around. When I’m not in incredible movement limiting pain, I can kick a good six inches above my head, bend and reach past my toes, etc. Just not right now. :frowning:

I’d love to be able to dance again, it’s something I use to “work out” and also a form of stress relief for me. I hope I don’t do whatever I did to injure myself again, and that the therapy continues to work and brings me back to normal.

At first, I thought the jerk must be thinking I was in my 20’s, instead of 31, and was basing his “assessment” on that. Nope, he was just being a jerk. I may not be in shape “for me”, and I know this, and freely admit it. It still does not give him license to be so rude. I do think he must have done this to other patients, and that he’s likely to do it again, may already have.

8

Actually, there may be an excuse (a poor one) for his actions.

I wonder if PTs meet a lot of people who try to avoid necessary therapy by “talking” themselves well. It may be that he thought you were in denial (wrong) about your need for therapy and that your “in good shape” claim was a veiled statement that you didn’t need to continue.

Still, I give him a “D” for treadmill-side manner and an “F” for tact.

Bubba

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BubbaDog Thing is, that guy is NOT my physical therapist at all. He has taken no part in my re-habilitation, and he had no business rudely breaking in to the conversation I was having with the person who IS my therapist, to rudely make his opinion known. I think he’d been eavesdropping for a while, and if that is the case, (he was quite nearby, just beside us on the low matted table) then he KNEW that I wanted the therapy, and was eager to take part in my re-habilitation because I’d just stated as much before he interrupted me.

In any case, even if I was “just trying to talk myself well”, it’s NOT FOR HIM to try to prevent me from doing so, because he is NOT my therapist or physician. That, and his rude, peacock approach was more of a deterrant than anything. His behaviour needs to be checked.

10

well off the top of my head, I see that there are several roads you can take in this.

The high road and ignore it, and understand that this guy has some major insecurity issues since he has the need to show off to patients.

The compassionate road which is making sure the person in charge of this guy knows about his treatment of patients and his need to undermine the self-esteem of others.

Or the down and dirty road. You will need to be quick on you feet (figuratively) and be able to put down someone in the blink of an eye and be nice about it. A good response for the last time would have been “And you work here? Wow!” Said in an incredulous tone. Notice you have said nothing that can get you thrown out of the place since a verbatim repetition of your words would sound like you are complimenting him, but tone of voice says you are questioning his professionalism. Or even a “that wasn’t a nice thing to say” is a good response. What you will have to do is wait until this bozo speaks to you again to do this.

I would probably do the high road thing myself but then again if he had said that to me I probably would have put him down the first time, but I am considered a really nice person who you don’t cross cause I can be mean if pushed.

deb – future curmudgeon – 2world

ps why do men get to be curmudgeons but us women have to be harridans. Not fair, we deserve a word for a mean old lady that doesn’t have the negativity that harridans has.