Unresolved plot points? Don't Worry, Baby!

So, earlier today, messing around on guitar I stumbled across the chords and melody Beach Boys’ “Don’t Worry Baby”. So I figured, hey, I’ll search for the lyrics so I can learn the song and add it to my repertoire.

Now, I’ve heard the song millions of times but just never really paid attention to the lyrics before. Just figured it was your basic “my girl makes me feel so good” kind of a song. But, oh, there’s much much more!

Verse 1:
Our hero is concerned that somethin’ is ‘bout to go wrong. At this point, just what that “somethin’” might be is still a mystery. Could be an imminent threat, or it could just be the stress of everyday life that is causing anxiety for our hero.
Whatever the crisis, we are lead to believe that it is no longer of any concern as our hero’s baby makes him realize (upon looking in his eyes) that he is not to worry- a reassurance that will be repeated with each refrain.

Verse 2:
”I guess I should have kept my mouth shut when I started to brag about my car”
:confused: What??? What song are we in now? Is this an issue that has already been addressed that I somehow missed out on?
Apparently, our hero has been doing some big talking and has now pushed the other guys too far. It seems he now has to answer for his bragging. Is this the “somethin’” from the first verse that we expect to go wrong? How did we get into this mess in the first place? Can’t a guy just be happy that he’s got a real fine 409 and a baby who takes away his worries? Why does he have to go around stirring up shit?
”She makes me come alive, and makes me want to drive”
Ah! Is that it? This baby of his who, up until now, we’ve had such respect for, is a little instigator! I suspect she is constantly challenging his manhood because she likes to watch him show off with macho bullshit. I’m sure she’s often prodding him along. They were probably out one afternoon enjoying the warmth of the sun, not a care in the world when someone drives by in a little deuce coupe and she’s got to say something like,
“You could beat that guy, couldn’t you, Baby? Why don’t you show ‘em what you got? Come on, Baby, show everybody what a man my man is.”
So, asshole goes shooting his mouth off about his car and now he’s in trouble. His baby goes on to encourage the imminent blunder with another chorus of “Don’t Worry” when, in fact, our hero really just should have apologized and left the situation maintaining a least a shred of integrity.

Verse 3:
The situation has escalated and now there is to be a race. Wanton recklessness on public streets in an adolescent attempt at proving one is “cool” in order to impress the opposite sex. Now, despite the present danger, our hero’s baby mollifies him with the absurd suggestion that nothing can go wrong as long as he takes her love with him when he races. Still, encouraging this insanity when they could just walk away!
Then what? She fucks him! Right there! Immediately before the race is to begin! While he is, wisely, having second thoughts he is ultimately determined to go through with the race because of what she does to him when she makes love to him- repeating her refrain “Don’t worry, Baby.” :dubious: What manipulation!

O.K. so then what happens? Who knows!? That’s it! That’s the end of the song! We have no idea what happens. We are just left hanging. Who won the race? Was there a brawl afterwards? Did the cops come? Was someone horribly injured in an accident?

My guess: Our hero loses the race, and his baby goes off with the winner.
:smack:

Sure, everybody has noticed the deep enigma that is Neil Diamond, and everybody wonders what the hell leaving a cake out in the rain has to do with anything, but there has been little recognition of the profoundly post modern puzzle of Beach Boys lyrics. Consider if you will the way that God Only Knows folds in on itself Escher-like:

This proclamation of love is steeped in doubt, in irony and thinly disguised contempt. The narrator front loads a typical hyperbole about a love as lasting as the stars with a note of doubt, and then procedes to proclaim the intention to prevaricate if necessary. He goes on to twist a conventional declaration of the sorrow of lost love with the barb, “Life would still go on, believe me.” There are definitely briars on this rose.

What then are we to make of it when he intones the refrain?

He doesn’t say, but his silence rings with recrimination.

I’m still trying to figure out:
“None of the guys go steady 'cause it wouldn’t be right to leave you best girl home on a Saturday night.”

If you are not going steady with anyone then there wouldn’t be one “best girl” to leave home- right? You’d have your options open. If you do have a best girl whom you never leave home on a Saturday night, then aren’t you kinda going steady???

Or is it: If I were going steady with someone, I’d only leave her home on a Saturday night anyway- which wouldn’t be right- so I choose not to go steady so as to avoid being in the wrong when faced with the inevitable situation of not wanting her with me on a Saturday night.