I’ve been honoured by being asked to be the godfather of my beautiful little niece. My sister is aware of me being uncomfortable with public speaking situations and reassured me that very little of it would be invloved during the ceremony. “I do” she said would be the extent of it.
However, we met with the priest yesterday. He walked us through the ceremony as it turns out the god parents get called up to the front to do most of the yakking facing about 100 people while the parents sit off to the side in the pews. One particular part of the ceremony where a creed has to be recited by the god parents. It’s about a page long.
After it was all done when the priest asked if there was any questions. I asked him if this had to be memorized and recited. I informed him of my nervousness in the first place. We’re going to be guided along apparently. I haven’t had an anxiety attack in years and do not want to pull a Tony Soprano and feint here. I’ve feinted before.
Here’s what I’ve been telling myself in order to prepare for the ceremony next sunday. But fear is an ugly beast.
1)Feeling a little anxious is normal, most people would be.
2)Have fun with it. Try and instill positive thought process to the whole thing.
3)Try not to dwell on it until next Sunday. Anticipatory anixiety makes it worse.
4)Cut back on my normal amount of caffeine the day of the ceremony.
5)I’m making a big deal out of nothing, this is family.
6)I should of joined Toastmasters years ago.
I hate having this personality defect, If anyone has anything else to add feel free.
Every Baptism I have attended just asks for a renewal of the Baptismal promises, and only require an “I do.” Other places may do it differently, though. My only advice is you are anxious is to remember that this event is being held for your niece, not you, and that is where the focus is. No one is much interested in you, probably, beyond mildly wondering if you are friend or relative.
Is the creed recited by just the godparents, or by everyone? You might have to say it while standing up in front of everyone, but if everyone else is reciting it, it’s no big deal.
Also, it’s not a performance. If you stumble over a couple words, no one really cares.
Beside, like Ellen Cherry said, no one’s gonna be looking at you. They’re all looking at the cute little baby.
For my kids ceremonies, the godparents recited it as a group. The priest said “repeat after me” and then everyone chimed in at the same time.
I think you’ll be in a position to focus on the priest, or your niece, and completely ignore the crowd. Good luck!
Another nod for taking a bit of Xanax for situations like these. It calms the nerves like a Percocet dulls the pain. But, it’ll make you sleepy, if you’re not used to it.
Anyhow, I always keep in mind, no one cares. Not to the level that they’re expecting you to entertain them. You’ve been given the words, say them, no one will be the wiser, and all eyes will not be on your ugly mug, but the baby’s!
Think of it when you’re on the other side of these sorts of things. You probably gave half attention anyway to the formalities, and probably didn’t devote an iota of criticism to those up there. It was just a bunch of people saying some nice things, then the awwww! A baby! Then you probably thought, “what’s for lunch?”
And you probably weren’t aware that most people are just as nervous as you are if they’re more introverted or aren’t public speakers.
So, That’s what’s really going through people’s heads. So, just be chill… You’ll be fine.
Thanks Dopers. I’m making a big deal out of nothing once again. I’m just not comfortable with this sort of attention.
But like others have mentioned most people will be focused on the little one and wont even pay much attention to me anyways. I’ll be guided through it and will focus on the priest. I don’t have a script for xanax but this might be something I’ll ask my physician for the next time I see him for occasions like these.
I have pics and vids of my niece but out of respect for my sisters wishes I won’t be posting them on line. She’s not a big fan of the internet.
When meeting with the priest. One part of the ceremony the priest will ask us to turn and spit (on satan) “please don’t actually spit in the church, people have done it.” That made me lol.
It’s not a personality defect. You’d be surprised (or maybe you wouldn’t be) how many people experience those same feelings…so don’t be hard on yourself.
I’m sure you’ll do fine. I hope you don’t mind if I point out your misspelling, which is kind of funny. A *feint *is “A feigned attack designed to draw defensive action away from an intended target; a deceptive action calculated to divert attention from one’s real purpose.” Both of these would be pretty amusing at a baptism. A faint, on the other hand, just involves passing out.
You can just tell the priest that you’re willing to take on the sacred role of godfather but you are not willing to say more than “I do” in the ceremony. He’s a priest; he should understand.
I highly recommend googling up some relaxation techniques and trying them. I’ve had the same phobia issues in the past to the point of getting really short of breath, wavering voice, etc. and that’s what did the trick for me. Now I still get nervous (which is normal) but can get through things OK. Also, write down a few positive affirmations like “I want to do this” and “my niece will appreciate this when she’s older” and say them aloud to yourself over and over…you will feel your confidence and comfort level begin to rise.
ETA: if this is after the fact, store it away for next time
It was yesterday. Overall it went well. It being an Orthodox ceremony it was very detailed and involved for the godparents. There was close to a hundred people there.
We had to stand with the priests at the alter for about an hour going through various rituals. I kept focused on the priests for most of the ceremony. What I found difficult was standing for that long I remembered to keep my knees slightly bent to avoid feinting. While reciting the creed which was a page long I only stammered during one part and would of taking my time to breath during it, except the god mother was like a machine gun reciting it. I was thinking to myself damn it slow down women I need to breath.
The icing on the cake yesterday was my niece cried her first word yesterday. She’s a great baby, rarely fusses or cries. She’s very attached to my sister, and when she cries usually being held by mom calms her down instantly.
She was good during the whole ceremony she already has an avid interest in books and couldn’t keep her cute little hands off the priests bible. There was a part of the ceremony where she gets naked and they dunk her, and then change her into whites she didn’t like this at all. While she was being held by the godmother and the priest was going on with the ceremony she was clearly upset about being stripped down dunked in water and was wailing for a good couple of minutes.
During the wailing however MAAAAAA-MAAAAA was clearly heard. All captured on video it was adorable and made the day and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the church she’s 10 months old.
Oh I’m glad it went well! With the video the moment when she cried out will be preserved forever. Not to mention get her teased about forever too.
I remember a baptism at the church I grew up at. No dunking, just the water on the head. The godparents were the ones to hold the child during most of it, but the minister would have the baby while he administered the water. The little girl had been crying during the whole thing, and when the minister took her the sound was amplified through his microphone. So finally he hands her off to her mother and man, it was like flicking off a light, she shut up. A chuckle rumbled through the congregation,(baptisms are done during Sunday services) and we a rather serious group as a whole, not known for joking around.
