Upsides to School Shootings

In My Humble Opinion
1

There seem to be a lot of threads about how bad school shootings are and how best to stop them. That’s good and all but since these arguments get trotted out every month or so and nothing changes, I think a new approach is needed.

We should use the power of positivity and find some silver linings so that when it inevitably happens again next week and the week after, people can look at this list and feel happy that some good is coming from the senseless violence.

I’ll start:

  • Considering that school shooting victims tend to be below the average age for becoming parents, the shootings will put a slight selection pressure on the US population which may, over time, cause them to become bulletproof.

  • Stimulates the funeral home & florist segments of the economy

  • Some of the victims may have grown up to do something terrible, like shoot up a school

2

This is not funny, if this is your attempt at humor please seek accommodations with a mental health facility, because something definitely shorted out in your brain pan.

3

“As for this topic, I don’t know if it’s real or not.” So which is it, Delicious?

If real, then what would be the good side if your child suffering the fate that you so blithely put forward?

If not real, then anomalous1 has covered all that can be said already.

4

Delicious, you’re being issued a warning for trolling. Not the sort of “contribution” that is likely to lead to a lengthy stay as a poster.

Thread closed.

EDIT: This has been downgraded to a Moderator Note (see discussion here). Satire/parody belongs in the Pit, so if that is your aim, please start any future topics along these lines there. Thanks.