I have a sartorial conundrum, and I’m sure you can help. You’re stylish people.
I’m wearing a zip-up jumper that has a zip running all the way up the middle, ending in a naturally upturned collar. I’m wearing the jumper because it’s cold outside - no kind of atmosphere. But I plan to keep it on when I get indoors. Underneath this I have a stylish club-type top with a smaller zip-up collar that also turns upwards. It’s a bit like that stylish suit that Neil Armstrong used to wear, e.g. in this photograph. That kind of futuristic clobber was all the rage in the 1960s. It was practical, too, but more importantly it looked good.
Anyway, both collars naturally fold upwards. That’s not an issue. The issue is the zips. Do I:
(a) Wear them both zipped up to the top?
(b) Wear them both zipped down a little bit, but at equal heights?
(c) Wear them zipped down, but with one zip higher than the other?
This is important. Option (a) is minimalist and pure but will make me look as if I’m about to leave. Also, it’s perhaps a bit too hardcore. Option (b) looks a bit OCD, as if I had thought about it. I’m leaning towards option (c), because it looks as if I just grabbed the zips and tugged them - it’s important that I don’t come across as too calculating - but which should be higher? If I choose the front, it’ll look odd, as if I only have one collar. The back, and it might look clumsy.
Jesus, this is hard. There’s the issue of how far down the zips should go - too far and I’m Burt Reynolds - but I can deal with that. Obviously I can’t have the inner zip all the way up and the outer zip down a bit, that would look… or perhaps it wouldn’t look so bad. I’ve sorted the issue of colours, material, type of outfit, those things are not an issue.
Women have it lucky, they don’t have this problem.
