There’s a movie called Amazom Women from the Moon that has a great little bit dedicated to this. It’s the premise that, okay, most people like to keep the fact that they’re engaging in premarital sex from their parents, yet everytime you go in the store to buy condoms, you’re running the risk of a family friend, your pastor, the doctor who birthed you, or even your grandparents coming up to you while you’re in line, striking up a conversation, and catching a glimpse of the horrible, horrible sin you’re about to commit. Sure, it’s a good thing that you’re using protection, but to these people, it’s “What is your mother going to think?” That’s where a lot of the fear comes from, I believe. Even when you move away from home, that stipulation is still there.
What the hell do they think at the local supermarket when my son buys tampons?
You’re kidding, aren’t you? If you’re old enough/mature enough to be having sex then you are most certainly old enough/mature enough to be purchasing contraception. If you’re embarrassed by doing that, then how the heck are you going to cope with all the other things which come along with being a sexually responsible adult?
I would hope that “your mother” would think exactly what I think. Glad that you are using contraception and now let’s organise those regular pap smears and breast checks and STD tests…and let’s talk about what form of contraception is most suitable for you both…
How on earth is buying condoms in any way embarrassing? I just don’t understand that mindset.
Welcome to the United States, where 5 murders are shown every night on prime time but sex is something only nasty people do.
jayjay
When I was a teenager, condoms were kept under the pharmacist counter and had to be specifically requested, usually from a female clerk–that, to a fourteen year old, was a horribly embarassing ordeal. Often enough, the clerk would just drip disapporval and condemnation, making the entire thing much worse. I suspect that several generations of males experienced extreme embarassment about buying the damn things.
The alternative to the pharmacy was to find a gas station that had a machine in the men’s room. No way in God’s world would condoms have been on open display in Texas in the 1950s. The Southern Baptists would have rioted in the street.
I still see them locked up all the time, you still have to ask a manager to unlock the case so you can fornicate. I would think the activists would make this a big deal, but I don’t think they have. They should.
Where do you live? Here in PA (characterized by James Carville as "Pittsburgh and Philadelphia with Alabama in between), they’re right on the shelves at convenience stores. Go to an AIDS Project event, fundraiser or street fair, and they’re handed out for free. Drop in at an AIDS Project office, and they’re free. The gay bar here in Altoona has a bowl full of them at the door.
And I’m still somewhat uncomfortable with the emphasis on birth control, as if that were all a condom is good for if you’re straight. You folks worry me…
jayjay
I think it’s interesting that this discussion has wended its way around to the morality of having birth control readily available. There are still people that think that having condoms readily available to kids (in an embarrassment-free venue, like the bathrooms in schools) is equal to telling children that free love is great, and they should all run out and screw each other silly. I completely agree that kids should be taught about abstinence as an option, and that sex is a responsibility that shouldn’t be entered into lightly, but I would rather see 12 year olds having sex with condoms than without them, and we all know that 12 year olds are HAVING sex. Trying to pretend that kids aren’t sexually active is just wrong-headed folly that leads to young pregnancies and STDs, IMO. Make the condoms available to the kids, and make teaching them responsibility about sex just as readily available.
(Excellent point about tv, jayjay. I don’t know if you’ve watched much Canadian tv, but you’re more likely to see boobies and fairly graphic sex than you are to see people’s heads getting blown off in full, living technicolour. And we have swearing, too. But that’s not important right now.)
Featherlou, that’s one of the reasons I love the Quebec government for having its own film rating system.
I love it! One night I bought some condoms and lube at the local Pharmaprix. The woman ringing me up said, Have a good evening.
I said, Yes, that’s the idea.
Elvis Rojo- Like Tippy, our Titan Mascot! …“Let’s just say I’ve never used anything else!”
Re Condoms In Locked Case-
Is it just condoms? I live in Philly and some convenience stores lock up most things medical-razor blades, bandaids, toothbrushes etc including condoms. I asked a clerk and was told that those were the items that were expensive and small. They were the most likely to be shoplifted.
A Moment Of Genius!
WallyM7 brand condoms! For all the putzes out there!
Is everyone so self-centered that they don’t realize that there actually exist people in the world for whom the whole condom thing really isn’t an issue? I know this may come as a shock, but there are people who only ever have a single sexual partner. Imagine! How amazing!
What’s more, there are people who have long-term monogamous relationships–that predate the appearance of AIDS! Wow!
I don’t use condoms. Know why? Because I had a vasectomy. Know why else? Because my wife has never had a sexual partner besides me, and we’ve been together for 13 years. Know why else? Because I’ve only had one other sexual partner, and I was her first sexual partner. And none of us are IV drug users!
So, no, I’ve never been tested, nor has my wife. And we both know exactly what the other is carrying–nothing!
pldennison,
how lovely for you. But how is making sure you’re protected being self centered? Obviously most of the people on this thread are referring to people who HAVEN’T only had one sexual partner, as that is pretty rare. Just because it’s not an issue for you doesn’t mean people shouldn’t talk about it. If you’re offended by the discussion, don’t participate in it.
I was with my thenBF-nowhusband for nearly six months before we had sex. Though we were both ready. Why? Because he was too embarrassed to buy condoms. :rolleyes: I tried to explain to him that nobody cares. He finally got the courage to buy condoms at a store where his friend works…though it’s still my responsibility to buy the condoms and the lube. He just can’t handle it.
Like me, for example.
Though, the more comfortable I become using the Pill, the less-likely we are to use condoms. The main reason is that they hurt him, a lot. To the point where, he needs almost a week to “recover”. He doesn’t appear to be allergic to latex (gloves, etc don’t bother him). Like pldennison pointed out, not everybody must use condoms. There are some irresponsible people, but there are plently more involved in completely monogamous, long term relationships, using alternate form of birth control. Maybe some people should be more careful when using blanket generalizations.
Phil, my BF and I stopped using rubbers because we’re both monogamous, and have been tested repeatedly and are both negative.
So what?
That does not mean that it’s safe or smart for anybody NOT IN A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP to get tested and to use condoms like thair lives depended on it.
'Cos it does.
The point being made in the post you quoted is that everybody, not just gay men, is at risk of contracting STDS, including HIV, chlamydia, and the other fun biota. If you’re having sex with someone and you are not 100 percent absolutely certain they are clean and healthy, WEAR A CONDOM OR INSIST THAT HE DOES!
What a long, tedious thread. But with pearls of wisdom stewn among swinish comments. The best? If both partners are not interested in being parents, reduce the chances any way you can. When my wife and I agreed that it was time to rear a child, my first bareback gallop turned the trick! With that maddening woman’s intuition she told me so the next morning.
I hated condoms, but they have their uses, folks. Our children are now middle-aged and my wife died eight years ago, but we never had regrets about our shared decisions. Sanity has its usage, too, including sport-fucking.
{insert obligatory cautionary warnings about sexually transmitted diseases, in addition to unwanted or unplanned pregnancies}
That is all.
Esprix
A lot of people are making a lot of sense on this thread.
And obviously, many are reveling in their right to not protect themselves, for rebellions sake.
And it’s sad that so many people think that they’re immune to the potential risks involved. But - freedom of choice is yours, indeed.
(And this is only directed toward those who are not in solid relationships, and those who are not prepared to take up their end of responsibility, should something go awry.)
It only takes “once”
To become inflicted with one, or many of the risks.
Would you go skydiving without a damn parachute?
Pick up a scorching hot, cast iron skillet with your bare hands?
(Not if you had any common sense, obviously)
Thankfully, (to put it mildly) I have never contracted an STD -
Though - both of my daughters, were conceived - the “2” times in my life that I was in too big of a “Sexual Frenzy” to wrap the whopper (In a 5 year time span)
So yes, it does happen.
And as unbelievable as the possibility is - it did.
And it was a shock.
I am only thankful it was “life” i contracted,
and not something else. Other people have worse fates.
And we all seem to think bad things can never happen to us.
People highly underemphasize personal respect and self protection, as if wearing a rubber is going to make you less “Cool” or some shit.
Yeah, as if having a terminally blistered crotch, or 15 kids you can’t feed, is cool.
15 Million Dead-Beat Parents & STD sufferers, Can’t Be Wrong, Huh? (I don’t know the actual numbers on this - but I’d love to, if anyone else does)
I wouldnt trade my girls for anything, but as others have mentioned here… It can be a difficult process for many, if left to do this alone, because the other half cannot handle the after affects of “mutual irresponsibility”.
For those who do - I truly commend you.
For those who don’t or don’t plan to - you should just keep your respective Pink Parts (Boi’s & Girls Alike) in your pants, or protect yourselves.
For those who don’t “believe” in birth control. For Religious argument - If you’re married, or happily together as a couple, and ready to raise a family, or are in a position to have unprotected sex, safely and trustingly - I’d say you’re absolutely justified… and you don’t need anyone to tell you so.
But I’ve seen many young & older people, using the “Religious Argument” to weasle their way out of protection, during frequent casual sex. I don’t think it flies well in that case.
I think maybe Rojo was directing this more toward those into casual, careless, unprotected sex, with people they don’t have 100% trust in - in situations where they should be thinking more about the outcome of certain choices (As his friend is experiencing) instead of the slighty variation in feeling during intercourse, with or without a jimmy.
Another fun condom-buying story, from 1996, in the U.S.A.:
After living down here in what has been called “America’s Nutsack” (South Texas) for a year or so, I finally found myself headed over to the local grocery store to pick up a box for a hot date I was looking forward to. Hmm, none here between the douches and band-aids, I wonder where they are… After doing the zig zag throught the whole damn store looking for my damn condoms, I give up, and I’m asking at the service counter.
Me:“Where are the condoms in this store?”
Her:“Right here, how many did you want?”
I talked her into selling me the whole box. Yay me.
Nowadays, Trojans can be found hanging on clip-strips in the beer aisle. Thank god.
** pldennison**, I’m glad to hear that you and your wife have unprotected sex. To me, that’s not a bad thing, married people should be able to have sex sans condom. What I’m talking about it unmarried people who are SO NOT READY to have a child taking the risk in fucking without a condom. I mentioned STDs briefly, and I’m pretty sure, knowing that you and your partner are the “only ones” you’ve been with helps justify the “I’m not gonna get it argument,” but you know what? Sometimes, people lie. For you, things worked, and that’s great. But you know what? Not every guy has had a vesectomy. Not every vesectomy works. Not everyone’s partner has been honest with them. And not everyone is as pure as they say they are.
As Jayjay pointed out, the gay community is great about using condoms, because with the onset of AIDS and the stupid belief early on that it was a “gay disease,” the homosexual community has been taking serious steps since the begining to inform people that hey, sex can kill you, so be careful. I’m just curious as to why it’s worked so well for them, yet hererosexual people seem to be so stupid about the whole thing.
If you’re ready to have a child, support it, and it’s something you and your partner have discussed, it doesn’t matter if you’re married or simply living together, then, to me, it’s fine if you go bareback, get pregnant, and raise the child together, because that’s something you’re able to handle. The deal is, not everyone is able to handle it, and it amazes me that people with enough intelligence to know better still take that risk, because a lot of people fuck things up. Don’t believe me? Watch Maruie Povich sometime. Every show of his for the past year has been about unwanted pregnancy and single parents.
The reason condoms are kept locked up in many places has nothing to do with morality, it simply because Condoms and pregnancy tests are some of the most shoplifted items, or so I have been told by couple of store managers.
As for wearing condoms, my best friend is sitting behind bars right now for felony non-support, because he had a child he couldnt pay for. When he gets out in another month or so, he will get to go through life as a convicted felon, and if he cant find a job that pays enough to make his child support payments, he gets to go back to prison. At least now he doesnt have his wife and stepchildren to support, he got his divorce papers in prison. But no, having a unwanted child wont exactly kill you.
Pharmaprix? Hehe. (I have a dirty mind, can’t you tell?) 
Also, speaking as a clerk in a retail store, I don’t care that you buy condoms. I don’t make an offhand comment, and I won’t embarrass you in front of other customers. I would hypothesize that this is the case with almost every other clerk in stores across America.