As for the testing of partners, lab tests are not 100% accurate. There is a lag time between when you may have been infected with a virus and the body’s production of antibodies, which is what is usually tested for; from this site:
As for testing for the virus itself (which is usually a more complicated, expensive test, and not likely to be included in a regular screening) - from this site:
Use the test results in conjunction with consultation with a doctor to make informed decisions, but don’t make the mistake of expecting 100% accuracy from ANY lab test. (This isn’t directed at you, gobear, by the way. As a former lab tech, I have come to realize that there a lot of people out there that truly don’t understand what lab tests are all about.)
I had a vasectomy in large part because I hate condoms.
I’m still pissed off that no one has developed a safe, foolproof, and hassle-free (including sensation-noninterfering) male contraceptive that isn’t as permanent as a vasectomy.
People keep saying that women would be foolish to assume that a guy is using it. Indeed they would. If I were female I’d use my own as well. But why should I, as a guy, rely on her vigilance?
If I had to choose between sex with condoms and sex without penetration I’d forego penetration every time. And that’s from a guy who can’t stand oral sex btw.
On problem health educators have grappled with for years is that people often define their relationships as “serious” in a shorter space of time than the sero-conversion periods for some of the STDs about which we are most concerned and abandon protective measures before they can realistically be assured of their own or their partner’s status in relation to the Heps or HIV, let alone the myriad of other nasties which an STD clinic will routinely test for but a GP might very well not.
Our ability to detect STDs is constantly improving, but I don’t think we’ve yet learned how to effectively deal with the emotional issues which persuade people they don’t need to worry about pregnancy or STD’s in the beginning stages of a new relationship because they are “in lerv”.
You know, a lot of high schools simply don’t teach that condoms can be used as a form of birth control. At least, they aren’t allowed to teach it in the state of Illinois. All they’re allowed to teach is abstinence. They CAN say that condoms protect you from STDs, though.
My health teacher kind of taught us anyway, but I bet a lot of them wouldn’t. And a lot of kids are really stupid and wouldn’t get it. Plus, health and sex ed here seems to be taught in the 10th grade. Many people have sex before that.
I do agree, though–if you’re not willing to deal with the consequences, sack it or whack it.
OMG - I hope you are kidding. Our high school kids have to do a major assignment in year 8 on contraception, and I think even that is leaving it a little too late.
Lest you think that I’m putting shit on the US education system, let me tell you an anecdote. Several years ago at my daughter’s primary school we had to fight to have sanitary protection disposal facilities installed in the girl’s toilets - it simply hadn’t occured to the largely male political powers that females 9, 10, and 11 might need them…
I’m not sure why everyone is so gung-ho about condoms in this thread. Here’s a hint: proper use of the pill or of Depo-Provera is much more effective than just condoms (at preventing pregnancy). Of course, the two methods used in conjunction are the best.
The third time I ever had sex, the condom didn’t work right. That sure shocked me into making sure my hormonal birth control was in order. And I was gonna make a point about long-term monogamous couples, but pld and PLG (hey!) beat me to it.
reprise, those “largely male powers that be” are probably shutting down the idea of teaching birth control/std prevention from grade one, where it should be started (make it a normal part of every kid’s life, I say), and pissing and moaning about teenage/tweenage pregnancies/single teenage mothers out of the other side of their mouths. (Yes, this is an issue I feel pretty strongly about.)
Angel of the Lord, we had our first (very brief) brush with birth control talks in Grade 10 when I was in high school, almost 20 years ago. Please don’t tell me it hasn’t gotten any better in almost 20 years.
Well, that would be why I specifically stated that this wasn’t directed at you, gobear. You seem like a pretty intelligent guy who is likely to make an effort to understand things like this. Not everyone is as scrupulous as I expect you are.
Just a side note here… not all females are able to just pop a pill. My body can’t handle them. I get daily migranes and can’t breathe. I’ve met a lot of women who can’t take them as well. Now if they only had a pill for men…
Well, featherlou, we do touch upon things a little in 5th grade. From what I remember, and what my sister remembers, it was mostly about how babies were made and what a period was. There was nothing about birth control. It seemed to serve mostly as a “periods are A-ok” thing.
Hell, I paid attention in these classes, and I didn’t hear a single damned thing about the Pill or the Shot or a diaphram even in 10th grade. Condoms we heard about as protecting disease. Occaisionally the teacher would tell us they could be used as birth control.
Wait…we did learn about the Pill…in AP U.S. History.
Maybe it’s just my school. I know my ex got it in 9th.
he’s the first person i’ve ever been with without latex, and likewise for him.
we both HATE condoms. they don’t fit him, and cause us both discomfort and pain. yucky.
we’re monogamous, longterm and long-distance
should i ever forget a pill/ throw up/ take antibiotics the latex returns. hasn’t happened yet.
we’ve discussed babies and we know we’d like some…in about 6 years…after a wedding.
but we’d manage if it happened, we have good supportive families and we’d be do it together. that’s a given.
i’m happy with my 99% effective birth control. i’m not worried about STD’s because of the relationship i’m in.
i also get mittelschmertz, so i KNOW when i’m ovulating…and i know that i’m not when i take the pill.
we’re happy with our decision and that’s pretty much the end of it.
irishgirl, just an aside, if condoms hurt both of you, you’re doing it wrong. As my fag hag wanna-be has told me repeatedly, “There’s no such thing as too much lube.” (jkusters refutes that by saying if you grab your partner and he zings to the ceiling, you’re using too much, but that’s a natch…)
I thought I made it clear I was talking about pregnancy only - obviously condoms are the only way to (mostly) protect against STDs. I still don’t trust 'em though.
The gay guys on the board (myself included) may be overreacting a bit because we’re not used to discussions of condoms and safe sex in which prophylacty isn’t a major (if not the only) subject. I have to admit that it actually alarmed me that this went for almost a full page without a mention of disease prevention as a reason for using a condom.
You have to remember that, for all intents and purposes, our entire world as it relates to sex is latex (barring very long-term commitments). And not in the kinky way. There is a subset of gay men known as barebackers who pride themselves in some perverse way on not using condoms for sex. The usual reaction to finding out that someone’s a barebacker by the crowd I hang out with is a mixture of disgust, surprise, and a general fear for their health (especially if it’s someone we know). So we tend to overreact (in the eyes of straight people) to this kind of discussion.
Now that my wife of 5 years & I have split up, I went & checked my old condom supply. I was surprised to see an expiration date printed on the envelopes. I was even more surprised to see that the expiration date was 1998.
I hadn’t used a condom in a really long time, until just recently. I was with my ex-girlfriend for 5 years, and so after we were together for a long time, she went on the pill (and she is religious about taking it), and we stopped using condoms. Now that I’m sexually active again, I’m using condoms, and would never think about not using them with anyone who wasn’t on the pill, and who I wasn’t in a serious monogamous relationship, so we could get tested for diseases, and also have no worries about her other possible parners at the time.
No argument here, but my best female (and married) friend is five and a half months pregnant. She was on Depo-Provera. NOTHING is foolproof!
On the up side, they’re now very happy and excited (they were more than a bit shocked at first) and the baby’s a girl and due mid-September. I’m going to be an honorary aunt!
If it weren’t for the pill, though, I wouldn’t be having sex at all. I look at the condoms as backup, but I wouldn’t trust them alone.
