I really don’t feel like thanking you for this one, even though I probably should.
Amazing, I never knew I could SCREECH LOW or that I could even CHEW CRESOL (yum, tasty!). However, while the ROC WELCHES, the LECHER COWS will CHEW CLOSER until the CEL CREWS HO stops to LEECH CROWS while WE SCORCH EL and they **SCREW CHLOE **.
CHEER SCOWL,
screech-owl
Hopefully I’ll one day end up in the fine fraternity of TOADY, SLY OLD MEN, where I can feed my pet TODY, LADY MELONS on my mind. But I fear they may call me a SMELLY DANDY, TOO. I could always just go away from them. Where? ONLY MY OLD 'STEAD, of course.
YET, ODDLY NO ALMS need to be paid for this atrocious attempt.
I got nuthin’.
I didn’t get very good results with mine, though if I ever start a business I might call it Carl Co. My real name does a little better; apparently I have a Nice Shirt.
Sorry to hear that, Chique. Here, have some quiche.
Sure ya do - I didn’t even need the server to figure out yours.
I Quiche
(on preview) Damn…beat to the punch by carol.
Curse my three-letter username!
However, were I still roadkiller then I could also be:
DARK ROLLIE! cue superhero music How cool does that sound?
My real name produces the subtly provocative Easy Corn Kim
Name’s pasunejen, and I’m taking a ride in a nun’s jeep.
Well, one stormy night in Bangkok, me and that noted socialite Raven Hiatt were having a couple of drinks at the local thai tavern, watching the precipitation fall through the holes in the roof and collect in the rain vat sitting up against the wall. We knew if we tried to walk home we’d be drenched; luckily, our good friend Hatter Ivan had sold us the best headgear possible to keep out the Bangkok downpour, so the thunder and lightning amounted to nothing more than a vain threat. Even better, if you invert a hat that Ivan sells you, it looks really trendy, so we wore ours inside-out and enjoyed our wine.
Anyways, after awhile Raven thought there was something wrong with the wine - too sour, she said - but when we complained to the bartender, he told us, in broken english, “Ah, tart vine!” Being a mean drunk, Raven hit at my leg, telling me to keep complaining, but I was tired and ready for bed, so I went home and fell asleep watching a schlocky horror movie called Earth Ant IV.
Did I ever tell you about the time I went skiing? Well, I went with Northern **Piper in El ** Caminos. He kept complaining about the heat. “This is a **nippier El ** Camino than I’m used to,” he’d say, all the while raising my **nipple ire ** by trying to **reline pip ** after pip on the fuzzy dice. Anyway, we finally made it to the slopes, but on my first run I hit a **peril pine ** and suffered a terrible penile rip. Long story short, I spent the rest of the trip sitting in front of the fireplace drinking martinis and feeling my pile ripen. The only bright spot in the whole trip was the Hollywood celebrities who came to the lodge that weekend. “**Peel in, Rip ** Taylor!” I cried as I saw a 1978 Caddy come screeching into the parking lot.
Groin Rig On.
Dr Ump?
I’ll take “Rejected Bond Villians” for $400, Alex! 
Just call me THY LOYAL EVIL ELF.
Can anyone come up with a better one for me?
If I were to eat an avocado snack, it would be a HAAS NOSH. “AH” SANS HO appears to refer to my masturbatory outcome when I have no cash to spare. HANS AS HO, however, involves my fantasy play with a German fellow.
A RETINAL RIB was rather interesting.
Cecil Adams = Ed’s Acclaim
Coincidence?
nocturnal_tick holds no belief that Cecil Adams, our perfect master, is indeed the beloved Ed Zotti. Of course the great and malevolent Cecil is his own man and would invoke his wrath upon me otherwise. eep.
j_sum1 doesn’t do a whole lot.
and j underscore sum one is just plain cumbersome.
My real name results in JUST NAIL HIM, which is what I wanted to do anyway.
Good luck coming up with a decent anagram for a short name with both a Q and an X in it.
sigh. I always miss out on the fun.
You could always Quote Marx (Karl or Groucho – your call).