Eh, no skin off my nose. It requires zero effort on my part that wouldn’t have already been expended.
I’ve been experiencing some depression lately, so my couch and I have gotten to know each other very well. However, this doesn’t work out well for me when it’s time to go to sleep and I lay awake in bed.
So I turn on the TV. Millionare Matchmaker is on. There is a larger woman that they are trying to hook up. She says she is looking for a hot guy to settle down with. Her interests are shopping, the color pink and Hello Kitty. She’s 34. The matchmaker is trying to explain to her that she will not be able to attract the “Mathew McConaughey” type. I’m getting so upset with the client’s attitude that I start yelling at the TV. (Hey, what else do you do at 2am?)
Long story short, she ends up hooking up with a model type guy who CLEARLY is only interested in what she will buy him. (He asks her straight up for multiple things.) The only part that made the show worthwhile? The matchmaker tells the client “Hello Kitty does not get you a hard cock.”
Life lessons.
Office Phlegm-Rattlin’ Guy: Okay, you’ve had strike one and strike two. Strike three, I’m going to leave so I don’t puke.
If I weren’t at work, I’d link to the ultimate refutation of that…
I would really love to own a nice high-end pair of sunglasses. I don’t have many accessories, but I love the styles of the high-quality brands. I wouldn’t mind dropping $200 on a perfect pair of shades.
But since I can’t seem to stop losing or dropping every damn pair within two months of buying them, I’ve got to stick with the crappy $15 plastic stuff. :mad: Goddamn row of scratches right in the center of the lens.
My wife had this problem.
My solution?
I bought her a $150 pair of sunglasses. Now the replacement cost is so high, she remembers where the things are at all times. Hasn’t lost them, 2 summers running (knock on wood).
Worked like a charm.
Yeah, I considered that. Might still give it a try anyway. My only thing is, you only gotta forget once.
I’ve stopped locking my keys in the car, though, so maybe I can improve on this. And I think higher-quality glasses are a lot more resistant to scratching anyway.
Careful with this. My record for not losing sunglasses is inversely proportional to their cost. $10 cheap pair - I’ve had them for 5 years now. $150 sunglasses? I left them on the roof of the car when I was driving away from the mall I bought them in.
Not only that but the control word is the only one that counts. So if it says freedom and blizkite, just make sure you type freedom correctly and throw down whatever you want for the other one, and you should pass.
It’s ragweed season. My eyes feel weird, like they want to come out of their sockets, my lungs feel asthmatic, my sinuses tingle and throb. I want to sleep. Sleeeeeep!!
Little ragweed fuckers. I hate you.
My improv meetup group used to meet at a place close to my house. Because of the traffic I mentioned earlier, they have decided to change venue to a place in the Western suburbs AKA Hell. So instead of a ten minute walk, it would be a 90+ minute bus ride. I didn’t like having fun with them anyway. Fuck fun.
WHY don’t grocery stores sell rosemary in bulk? Or at least in larger containers. Dangit, I can’t make my kick-ass spaghetti sauce without a lot of rosemary, and I has a hankering. And no rosemary.
I have to fire my handyman. This truly sucks. He’s a great handyman. He’s also in his 70s and on a fixed income. He needs just a little bit extra each month to keep his house. I offered to pay him in cash, but he didn’t want any questions raised at all. He’s a former fire fighter, former police officer, and spent a couple of decades in the military. He totally rocks.
Unfortunately, he is also a client where my husband works. That’s how we met him, and how we knew he could really use the occasional odd job. The employer has ethical guidelines about relationships with clients, but we had a loophole. The handyman worked for me. I called him about jobs, set payments, oversaw the work and paid the man. Pop-of-Andrew was so far out of the loop he didn’t even know what the guy did until it was done.
Employer just closed the loophole. Hubby will be in serious ethical trouble if we keep using the handyman. The type that not only gets you fired, but could cost you every professional certification you’ve ever had.
And because the guy worked for me – I have to be the one to fire him. I am SO not looking forward to this.
TL;DR – Bright line rules SUCK. The world is made of shades of gray.
Well that truly sucks. As a good friend of mine is known to say this sucks moldy necrotic rabid Republican donkey balls.
I hope your handyman finds someone else to work for soon.
How can a GPS program not know the distance between 2 points when it has been on and traveled between them?
So I downloaded a new bike GPS program for my iPhone. Fired it up when I went riding Thursday. Rode a 5 mile loop with the first 1.5 miles solid climb. The program told me I had climbed almost 1,000 feet total. So I click on the hills tab expecting to see a profile of the climb and it tells me “there were no hills on your ride”
But wait there is more.
Today I fire it up and start on a ride I have done many times so I know the distance almost to the yard. I have traveled not quite 9 miles. But according to this POS I have gone 2.4 miles.
WTF? Over.
Guess what is getting deleted when I get home?
That really does suck, Mom of Andrew. Maybe you can pass his name on to everyone you know to still be able to help him out.
More or less generally where are ya, Mom of Andrew, if you feel comfortable sharing a city/state? Chances are some Dopers are near enough to you and your handyman that they can help pass along the reference.
My bitch: I had a tank of hermit crabs for several years. Never had 'em before, but I researched and managed to keep them healthy and happy through several molts until they got pretty damn big. Kinda fun pets, in their own weird way. But eventually, one after another, they stopped coming back up out of the sand after digging in … gradually … slowly … I had fewer. They’re social creatures and aren’t happy alone.
Anyway, the last time I cleaned and replaced their water bowls, no sand got tracked into them for, like, forever. Fine. They’re finally all gone, and I’ve been planning to set up a fishtank again so I want the tank back. Put off cleaning it, put off cleaning it, put off cleaning it some more, and marked today as The Day I Will Dismantle and Clean The Hermit Tank.
And, as I’m scooping out the old sand and coconut coir … I find a live crab huddled in his shell, newly molted and brightly colored, wayyy at the bottom of their substrate.
Well, shit. I know they’re “just” invertebrates but I feel a responsibility to any creature I care for and keep. I don’t know if this crab has gotten too dehydrated (thinking it wasn’t occupied I hadn’t bothered to keep the humidity levels up) and if he’s healthy enough to try to find a new home.
Who wants one random maybe-healthy (or maybe not 
) hermit crab?
I feel like a bad pet owner.
Mom of Andrew I agree with CatWhisper and purplehorseshoe that if you were able to share the handyman’s location, there might be people who could hire him.
I also agree with everyone who thinks the situation really bites.
Not an August rant, but it happened a couple of years ago, in the summertime. My toilet broke. My friends came over, drank some beer and figured out that the problem was that the flush handle was broken. Easy and cheap fix, right?
Well, no. While the friend was tightening the plumbing thing, he broke the tank. Water all over the place. We got the water shut off and went off to buy another toilet. Of course, beer kept happening while we stopped at our brother’s homes.
We finally made it to Ace Hardware to buy a new toilet and we didn’t know the proper measurements. :smack:
The poor guy who was helping us managed to find a toilet that everyone agreed on, so the next task was to transport it. Cue visual images of a bunch of drunk bikers bungy cording a toilet to a Harley.
Of course, we had to stop for dinner and more beer, but the toilet arrived intact. We installed it but someone forgot to put the wax sealor thingy in. When we flushed the shiney new toilet, water spewed all over the floor.
I’d really love a handy man who knows what he is doing!
My sister has a couple of friends who would be off my guest list for dinners out if I were her - last time they RSVP’ed okay, but brought their two kids unexpectedly. That would normally be okay (except for bringing two more guests than were arranged for with the restaurant), except we were seated in an area where kids weren’t allowed, and the manager got cranky with us (rightfully).
This time, their response to the dinner invitation was, “Maybe.” When you’re showing up with four people, “Maybe” is not an acceptable answer when group seating has to be planned. This time their “Maybe” turned into “Yes” - half an hour late. I’d still invite them to functions like house parties, but I’d be finished with inviting them to dinners where their lack of social skills can negatively affect other people.
Andy’s Mom, that’s kind of shitty. Legally, I don’t think that your husbands employer can tell YOU what you can, and can not do. But I guess it is best to play it safe in this day and age.
Do you have a friend or a relative? Somebody you trust. Have your friend over, bring over the handy man and fire him. Half a second later, your friend hires him to do work at your house.
If somebody questions it, your friend/brother/mom is a contractor, you needed somebody to fix your fence, that’s who they sent over to do the work. What the hell are you supposed to do about it??
Those hard working guys are awesome, I’ve got one, he’s fucking fantastic. Has been for years.
Oddly, I have the opposite problem you do, tomorrow I have to actually hire him.
I can already see the conversation.
Me: Hank, we’ve got a problem here, I need to hire you.
Hank: You asshole mother fucker, what the fuck are you firing me for.
Me: Hire Hire, not fire.
Hank: What the fuck are you talking about. You fuck, you just fired me.