Huh. I’ve never heard of it… sounds interesting, though! I may try to make this some time soon.
It has driven you over the edge. Its now time not to invite her to anything you coordinate and tolerate her existance at other events. No one will ask, if they do, tell them that you went out of your way for her and instead of being grateful she chose to berate you for not doing more and you don’t need friends like that.
And this has nothing to do with diet. You could all make plans to go see PotC3 this summer, spend a week making plans and she’d say “God, can’t we see a different movie, I can’t stand Kiera Knightley!” This is someone who misses that sometimes you make compromises to be with friends.
[QUOTE=LifeOnWry]
One of our friends, though, routinely makes “aggressively” non-vegetarian meals, like pepperoni stromboli or pork roasts, then adds bacon to her mashed potatoes and that sort of thing. Again, my weird diet is not her problem, and I can usually manage just fine munching off the veggie tray or just having a larger portion of green beans or something. But this friend always plays ths little drama out as she sets food on the table:
“OH NO! LifeOnWry! I am so sorry! I totally forgot you can’t eat this stuff! I am awful; I didn’t make anything you can eat! I’m SO sorry!” The first couple of times it happened, I assured her that I was fine, there was plenty I could eat, I certainly didn’t want her going out of her way on my behalf. But I’ve noticed that this is ALWAYS her routine now, and it’s getting very annoying. I ignore it, but I really have to wonder why on earth someone would do that.
[/QUOTE]
Because it’s obnoxious and so is she. I’d stop eating at her house.
[QUOTE=tdn]
By taking the high road, you make it clear to everyone that there’s only one petty jerk in the room.
[/QUOTE]
By taking that “high road” the jerk might not know they’re being a jerk. I still say call them on it at the time it happens.
[QUOTE=LifeOnWry]
“OH NO! LifeOnWry! I am so sorry! I totally forgot you can’t eat this stuff! I am awful; I didn’t make anything you can eat! I’m SO sorry!” The first couple of times it happened, I assured her that I was fine, there was plenty I could eat, I certainly didn’t want her going out of her way on my behalf. But I’ve noticed that this is ALWAYS her routine now, and it’s getting very annoying. I ignore it, but I really have to wonder why on earth someone would do that.
[/QUOTE]
Because she is rude. And she doesn’t “approve” of vegetarians and this is her passive-aggressive way of holding her ground. Why anyone feels they need to approve or not approve of what someone else doesn’t eat is beyond me.
I’d be tempted to show up with your own dish. “You can never remember I’m a vegetarian, so I brought something - enough for everyone - hope you don’t mind.” Something that doesn’t need to be warmed up, but is still relatively filling and vegetarian - pasta salad or couscous salad.
[QUOTE=Boggette]
By taking that “high road” the jerk might not know they’re being a jerk.
[/QUOTE]
Yes, but everyone else in the room does. It’s not my job to teach people manners.
Except once. 
Back in the Land Before Time, I was dating Laura. Her roommate Jan was dating Boz. Jan decided it would be a nice idea if she made a fancy dinner for the four of us. It was really nice. She went all out. Laura and Boz just made fun of the whole thing. “Eww, that’s probably poison!”, “That probably came from a TV dinner”, stuff like that. They were quite amused with themselves. Having a rolicking good time, and I could see that Jan wasn’t pleased. I (the hero of this story, as you shall see) stepped in and told Jan that everything was wonderful. The look she gave me suggested, if only for a moment, that we were both seeing the wrong people. I think Laura and Boz sensed it too, as they immediately rearranged their attitudes.
[QUOTE=villa]
I do one that is equal parts olive oil, fresh lemon juice, fresh grated parmesan mixed together, then poured over the linguini and tossed with lemon zest. And fresh basil thrown in I think.
I usually serve it with chicken and prosciutto sauteed in lemon & garlic.
[/QUOTE]
Yum! Except I’d go with pancietta or shrimp.
There is no excuse for ever speaking to that worthless bitch again. (Don’t blame vegetarians. I’m a vegetarian. I wouldn’t dream of doing that.)
Putting together a dinner party is a fucking ton of work. Someone coming and complaining that she only has one main course option that fit her special dietary requirements instead of two?! It just boggles my mind how self-centered some people can be. As far as I’m concerned, you’d be doing the world a favor if you lit her on fire.
Okay, maybe that’s going a little far. Don’t invite her over for dinner again, anyhow.
Just wanted to say, that sounds like a fine meal in the OP. I didn’t know what “crostino” was, but now that I’ve looked it up, I’m hungry.
You can eat everything if you wish. I will not stop you from eating the lasagna.
[QUOTE=Excalibre]
It just boggles my mind how self-centered some people can be. As far as I’m concerned, you’d be doing the world a favor if you lit her on fire.
Okay, maybe that’s going a little far.
[/QUOTE]
Absolutely too far. A simple stabbing is all that’s required here.
That’s what Miss Manners says, anyway.
[QUOTE=LifeOnWry]
“OH NO! LifeOnWry! I am so sorry! I totally forgot you can’t eat this stuff! I am awful; I didn’t make anything you can eat! I’m SO sorry!” The first couple of times it happened, I assured her that I was fine, there was plenty I could eat, I certainly didn’t want her going out of her way on my behalf. But I’ve noticed that this is ALWAYS her routine now, and it’s getting very annoying. I ignore it, but I really have to wonder why on earth someone would do that.
[/QUOTE]
That just blows. When Kid Kalhoun brings a vegetarian gal-pal over, I go out of my way to make 3 or 4 vegetarian items so they don’t have to sit there with a plate of plain spaghetti or what have you. I would never dream of serving food that my INVITED guests don’t eat. WTF is that all about?
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas]
You can eat everything if you wish. I will not stop you from eating the lasagna.
[/QUOTE]
Yep! I know some people honestly CAN’T eat certain things without dire results, but if you choose to not eat certain foods, it’s your problem, not your host/hostess’s. A good host/hostess does their best to accommodate their guests, but I’d say the OP definitely fulfilled that obigation and then some.
[QUOTE=Excalibre]
As far as I’m concerned, you’d be doing the world a favor if you lit her on fire.
Okay, maybe that’s going a little far.
[/QUOTE]
Not too far at all. But if I’m invited to the OP’s next dinner party, I’m going with the vegetarian option.
[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
That just blows. When Kid Kalhoun brings a vegetarian gal-pal over, I go out of my way to make 3 or 4 vegetarian items so they don’t have to sit there with a plate of plain spaghetti or what have you. I would never dream of serving food that my INVITED guests don’t eat. WTF is that all about?
[/QUOTE]
That’s very kind of you, to go out of your way. I honestly don’t expect people to do that, cuz it’s a hassle, so when people do, I’m very appreciative. I’m a minority of one in a large-ish group, so I don’t expect everyone to remember all the time. Others in our group have forgotten on occasion too. The fact that this one person seems to suddenly remember that she’s forgotten EVERY TIME we’re over does seem to me to be passive-aggressive. I just can’t figure out what she could be getting out of this behavior.
OH! Here’s another weird thing about this same woman - when we have potluck get-togethers, and everyone brings a dish, nine times out of ten it is this same woman who brings a dish that IS vegetarian-friendly.
[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
I would never dream of serving food that my INVITED guests don’t eat. WTF is that all about?
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, that’s pretty fucked up.
I don’t server dinner to others much, but when I do I damn well make sure no one has allergies/aversions to anything I’m wanting to prepare. I was pretty upset to see one of my guests picking out mushrooms because his girlfriend was too much of an ass to let me know he didn’t like them after I specifically asked right as I was starting to cook. She knew he didn’t like them, but it wasn’t important to her as long as she didn’t find any onions in her food. :rolleyes:
LifeOnWry, I’m surprised still you refer to that one as ‘friend’. I’m also surprised she hasn’t tried to serve you a beverage with a beef jerky straw in it. :dubious:
Does she pull the ol “well, it doesn’t have much meat in it” crap too?
[QUOTE=vetbridge]
Hmmm. Mind if I use that? I would use it under acquaintance. That is; friend—>acquaintance—>contemporary.
[/QUOTE]
How could I possibly mind, unless I had a trademark on it? 
Of course, if you turn it into a line of action clothing, rub-on-tattoos, and sex toys, you might donate $100 in my name to the United Rastafarian Society of America (URSA).
[QUOTE=harmless]
LifeOnWry, I’m surprised still you refer to that one as ‘friend’. I’m also surprised she hasn’t tried to serve you a beverage with a beef jerky straw in it. :dubious:
Does she pull the ol “well, it doesn’t have much meat in it” crap too?
[/QUOTE]
No, nothing like that And really, she is a good friend in every other way. She’s almost always the first one there in a crisis, the one who offers to dog-sit and pick up the mail when we go out of town, the one who makes sure everyone gets copies of photos, a gazillion thoughtful little things. That’s why this one thing drives me so crazy.
[QUOTE=Una Persson]
a line of action clothing, rub-on-tattoos, and sex toys, you might donate $100 in my name to the United Rastafarian Society of America (URSA).
[/QUOTE]
What about rub-on-sex-toys? 
Having met Rastafarians in Jamaica and the US, I would be happy to support the cause.
If that’s the case, LifeOnWry, maybe you bringing your own dish (enough for all, as Dangerosa suggested) would shame her into remembering? Don’t do it with the attitude of shaming her, but it might very well do so anyway.