[QUOTE=lezlers]
To me, it would look like “hey, the next time I’m over I expect you to cook for me you lazy cow.”
[/QUOTE]
Forcing a cow to cook a vegan dish seems to violate the spirit of the thing, that’s true.
[QUOTE=Magiver]
She has to compromise her way of life to suit you. If the situation were reversed you’d have to compromise your lifestyle to serve her a dish with meat in it.
[/QUOTE]
“Compromise her way of life”? Please. It’s one meal, one dish, that can easily contain ingredients that she uses every day. And I believe lezlers has said that she will and does cook meat for others.
[QUOTE=Magiver]
I’m on the wagon that says she’s being rude. Dealing with Vegetarians is a PITA because I have so few recipes that I think are host-worthy. I couldn’t just throw a salad at you and feel comfortable (now I do have an ass kicking Greek Salad recipe). As a good host it means spending extra time learning something new to serve to one guest. And while you’re not shoving your “religion” up her nose there is a defacto sense that you are better than she is. She has to compromise her way of life to suit you. If the situation were reversed you’d have to compromise your lifestyle to serve her a dish with meat in it.
[/QUOTE]
Which I always do. As I said earlier, I always make non-vegan dishes when I’m hosting (which is rare, our apartment isn’t really one for entertaining in.) After all, as a good host, I want my guests to be comfortable and wouldn’t dream of putting the burden on them to do so. Honestly, there is such an abundance of vegetarian/vegan recipes online (you don’t even need to go to the bookstore) that it really is more a matter of laziness than inability. If you’re that uncertain, just ask your guest for some suggestions! Trust me, veggies would be more than happy to give you suggestions, if only you’d ask. That’s the problem. We don’t want to give unsolicited suggestions and recipies for fear of imposing. But OTOH, many hosts don’t bother asking us directly, try to fly blind, then decide it’s just to difficult and don’t bother, like sister. That way, everyone loses.
[QUOTE=Magiver]
…She has to compromise her way of life to suit you. If the situation were reversed you’d have to compromise your lifestyle to serve her a dish with meat in it.
[/QUOTE]
Well Lezlers does “compromise her way of life” to suit omni guests. And unless the sister eats only meat it’s not the same. There’s a difference between serving someone something they can’t eat and serving someone something that doesn’t have something they usually eat in it.
[QUOTE=Magiver]
…She has to compromise her way of life to suit you. If the situation were reversed you’d have to compromise your lifestyle to serve her a dish with meat in it.
[/QUOTE]
Well Lezlers does “compromise her way of life” to suit omni guests. And unless the sister eats only meat it’s not the same. There’s a big difference between serving someone something they can’t eat and serving someone something that doesn’t happen to have something they usually eat in it.
[QUOTE=lezlers]
Which I always do. As I said earlier, I always make non-vegan dishes when I’m hosting (which is rare, our apartment isn’t really one for entertaining in.) After all, as a good host, I want my guests to be comfortable and wouldn’t dream of putting the burden on them to do so. Honestly, there is such an abundance of vegetarian/vegan recipes online (you don’t even need to go to the bookstore) that it really is more a matter of laziness than inability. If you’re that uncertain, just ask your guest for some suggestions! Trust me, veggies would be more than happy to give you suggestions, if only you’d ask. That’s the problem. We don’t want to give unsolicited suggestions and recipes for fear of imposing. But OTOH, many hosts don’t bother asking us directly, try to fly blind, then decide it’s just to difficult and don’t bother, like sister. That way, everyone loses.
[/QUOTE]
Sorry, I missed the part about cooking with meat for others. Make no mistake, I’m on your side. When my nephew went veggie for a while I experimented with recipes I could then teach him to cook. I personally had problems finding stuff that tasted good and met the parameters of nutrition. I have the cookbooks but I’m not in love with the cuisine.
[QUOTE=lezlers]
Gimme your email and I’ll give you a bunch of recipies, including my vegan brownies that non-vegans request at every get together I go to!
[/QUOTE]
Me too! Me too! (I sent you an email with the title “Cashew Nut Loaf!”)
[QUOTE=Scribble]
Imagine that you went to live in a country where, say, fried maggots were considered normal fare. How would you feel about being asked to eat in a kitchen that had those maggots in it? Where those maggots had touched everything, and where you just know that there’s no way on Earth to truly remove every trace of fly guts from plastic utensils, wooden spoons, etc?
[/QUOTE]
Seriously, that would not be a problem.
Maybe a better analogy would be if someone would be happy in eating food made in a kitchen that used to belong to Hanabal Lector? It would likely squick many people out, and riisk of eating something contaminated ever so slightly with particles from a murdered and butchered human being would break many people
s moral taboos.
That said, if I wanted to invite over a friend with very restrictive rules (no possibility of pork contamination being require) I’d ask to borrow their pans and utensils, maybe buy a new cutting board (as you never have too many cutting boards) and make a meal containing no dairy (if Jewish guests).
I’d ook on the stove (not in the oven or microwave which have had pork dishes cooked in them.
If that was not good enough for them, and if they could not give me a scenario where pork (or dairy product) could get in their food, then I would consider their restriction of avoiding pork has more to do with obstinance and tradition than simpley avoiding the unclean food stuff.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
(Seriously - my grandmother made salads and *deserts *with meat and lard. Even the red cabbage has bits of bacon and pork fat in it.)
[/QUOTE]
In that light, I would definitely definitely ask the vegan to smuggle in a cashew loaf to the party!
“I would ask grandma to cook something vegan, but I’m afraid asking will give her a heart attack!” 
[QUOTE=Bippy the Beardless]
Seriously, that would not be a problem.
Maybe a better analogy would be if someone would be happy in eating food made in a kitchen that used to belong to Hanabal Lector? It would likely squick many people out, and riisk of eating something contaminated ever so slightly with particles from a murdered and butchered human being would break many people
s moral taboos.
[/QUOTE]
I’ve heard that someone paid a hefty price for the frig that was used by Jeffrey Dahmer. It might be an urban legend.
[QUOTE=Magiver]
I’m on the wagon that says she’s being rude. Dealing with Vegetarians is a PITA because I have so few recipes that I think are host-worthy.
[/QUOTE]
Speaking as a vegetarian, really, don’t worry about it! Just the thought of having a couple of things we can eat (say pasta, non-bacony salad, bread) is fine with us. It’s the thought that’s involved; I’d be hurt if I was told “everything will have meat, if you are coming you need to bring your own” but I wouldn’t be hurt if the person just was generally clueless and screwed up (like someone who, while meaning well, made me crab rangoons). Questions are fine too - some people don’t know the term vegetarian or vegan very well. I’ll eat a PB&J or run out to the store with a smile if someone actually tried to be nice but didn’t end up with something I could eat, but the attitude of “I can’t be bothered” just bugs the crap out of me.
I know some people who really hate something. Would I invite the person who HATES onions over for French Onion Soup, supposing that was my personal favorite?
Would you invite the Orthodox Jew over for pork tenderloins and get huffy and offended that they wouldn’t eat them?
I love Thai and Indian food, but most people in the Midwest hate it. Do I drag people along to someplace I know they’ll have trouble getting something they like and can eat, just because it’s my turn to pick?
My uncle is allergic to wheat, milk, and pretty much only eats meat and potatoes. Should I tell him to bring his own dish because my favorite is fettucine alfredo, so by God, that’s what I’m making?
Just because people have dietary limitations doesn’t mean that it’s ok to tell them to screw off. To me, the whole POINT of a social get-together is to share companionship with people and the attitude of “it’s my way or no way” is silly. If someone has a lot of restrictions, it’s fair to ask them to help you (can you tell me some things you do like, Mr. Raw-Food Doesn’t Eat Anything With a Shadow?) or for really extreme allergies I can see the “bring your own” angle. But it should be said with care, as in “I’m really concerned about your peanut allergy because I frequently use my kitchen and utensils for peanut sauces and baked goods. I hate to ask, but would you mind bringing something you know is safe for main course and I’ll bring in some store-bought salad and bread, too?”
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas]
I’ve heard that someone paid a hefty price for the frig that was used by Jeffrey Dahmer. It might be an urban legend.
[/QUOTE]
World is frigging crazy.