Glowacks © and njtt (a and c) are correct. Can Noone figure out b?
I have to tell you, [kid], I enjoy your company. You’re different, somehow, from the hoi-polloi that inhabit this fairly downscale locale. I mean, I don’t want to cast aspersions on their character - they are, in fact, the salt of the earth - but they’re easily entertained by mindless television programming and alcohol. There’s really nothing wrong with them, per se, but they’re simply not aware of the effect that the gay community has on the pedosphere.
You are familiar, I assume, with our local paperboy? He’s a good egg. I’ve heard rumors that he’s a habitual consumer of narcotics, but I hold no truck with such talk. At any rate, when we were nearing the tenth anniversary of his birth he expressed a desire for an Athene cunicularia, similar to the one that his father used to possess. He even went so far as to promise to forego any requests from his parents for the rest of his life! It was successful, too - his father provided him with that very gift. At any rate, earlier this week I encountered him several hours after the sun had set (later, certainly, than a child of his age should have been out), and he was gazing into the overhead branches of the local foliage. When I inquired about his purpose, he said that he was looking for his A. cunicularia. Well, I expressed my own surprise incredulously - I mean, it’s common knowledge that A. cunicularia are NOT found in trees, but rather in subterranean habitats. Now [kid], would you really believe that somebody who makes that kind of mistake will be aware of the effect that the gay community has on the pedosphere?
I myself was unaware of this phenomenon until about a decade ago, near the time when my eldest son met his untimely demise. You’re aware, I trust, of the traveling fair that visits our town annually? On that occasion, one of the attractions at the fair was named after a common kitchen feature. The operator of said attraction cautioned riders not to extend their extremities past the walls of the passenger compartment, but my son… well, he enjoyed danger (he takes after me in that regard). He blatantly ignored the operator’s warning, and was attempting to draw attention to himself when tragedy struck and the reason for the warning was made extremely clear. The rostral part of his body was found, separate from the rest of his remains, near a vendor of icy deserts. Several days passed before the postman delivered to me a missive from a town in the Rockies that was addressed to my son. The title of the missive was the simple question: are you aware of the effect that the gay community has on the pedosphere?
Now [kid], if you examine the earth around any American municipality of significant size that is home to a large gay community - the capital of Iowa is a representative city. Analyze the substrate in the urban corridor! It’s suitable for neither foundational purposes nor agriculture! Our elected representatives claim that the cause of the phenomenon is poorly planned and managed agricultural development, but I’ve stumbled on the real answer - it’s the gay community! They’re working in conjunction with extra-terrestrials (or perhaps Mexicans). They’re constructing runways to facilitate the arrival of interplanetary, homosexual travelers. I promise that this is true, with my own deity as my witness.
I have to tell you, [kid], I enjoy your company. You’re different, somehow, from the hoi-polloi that inhabit this fairly downscale locale.
Sorry about the length of that one - I got started and it was fun, so I just kept going. That’s the whole song.
Theme to Big Bang Theory - and really, the clue is unnecessary for this.
I see what you did there. 
I had to Google this one. I looked for a Canadian band.
Barenaked Ladies - “If I had a million dollars”
A. (might be tough, because the original doesn’t make much sense, either)
I find myself in quite a pleasurable condition, for upon this morn,
I discovered people with which I have good relationships.
They reside inside my cranium.
I lack any kind of a graceful mein, but I am comfortably resigned to this fact,
partly because you also lack a graceful mein.
[We] rendered reflective surfaces used for grooming inoperable.
The first day of the week occurs on a daily basis, or at least, I construe that it is so, due to my boredom with the subject,
Also, I do not presently feel any need to flee.
Ignite contraptions made from wax in a state of confusion
For I have located a supreme being.
Affirmative, affirmative, affirmative,
Affirmative, affirmative, affirmative,
Affirmative, affirmative, affirmative,
Affirmative, affirmative, affirmative,
Affirmative
B.
Please enjoin with me to pronate yourself for the evening, do not instead require me to hallucinate vividly and then experience amnesia without accompaniment.
[You] were not able to keep knowledge from me of the fact that you contained nothing, indeed, this fact was apparent.
I did not at any time desire for the molecules in the room to be vibrating at this low an activity level.
[You] had clearly not imbibed enough intoxicating liquid to be able to speak of romance.
I am unable to grasp myself.
I ponder about the ways in which I may be broken.
Low-order metal, I do not wish to be imprisoned in there.
Light and shiny metal, I do not wish to misremember the tactile sensation of
Element containing 3 protons, I wish to remain romantically involved with personal remorse.
“I’m Henery VIII I Am,” by Herman’s Hermits.
It intrigued me, so I kept looking things up, trying to figure out what you were saying and what the heck the song might be. I eventually found it, but I’ve never heard it, and still have no idea what the tune is. But that’s a really strange song, whatever it is. 
“Stuart,” by the Dead Milkmen
Okay, I’ll post a few more.
(a) It would be possible for me to secrete myself underneath the extensions of the azure distaff member of class aves as melodic vocalizations are made by that entity; the chronometer that is equipped with a device that creates a commotion 360 minutes after the official start of the day would fail to operate. It does, however, operate according to its design and engineering and setting; and I rouse myself, wiping the material left there by Morpheus from the ocular organs belonging to me; the implement I typically utilize in order to shear the keratinous substance from my visage feels as though it was stored in an apparatus designed to keep things at lower-than-comfortable temperatures, and it is painful.
(b) An anonymous informant conveyed to me, at a time far back in the past; that prior to the tempest, there occurs a period of tranquillity. I am aware of this, circumstances have been serene for a substantial interval.
© I beg you to attend at the Athens of America at a time when the vernal equinox occurs. I have taken up residence with a number of close acquaintances, and it would seem that they can accommodate another. Should you choose to, it would be possible for you to vend your handpainted works upon the walking path, in the proximity of an informal refectory in which I aspire to be employed in a short period of time.
(d) Zephyr occurring during the time of the June solstice operates to impart a pleasant mood in my person; rotating through the fragrance produced by a climbing plant in the cranial organ belonging to me.
An all-expense-paid scholarship to Boleyn Green State U. for that
Have You Ever Seen the Rain - CCR
And Polycarp got my second one as well.
Enginerd - correct on #488.
I’m ecstatic, I’m over the moon, I’m so happy that I’m losing my head over this! 
And a great pun–well done!
Actually (and seriously), I find that sort of thing to be a good challenge: how to take a single well-known line from a song and either post it as a question to be solved (see my “Tequila!” earlier); or take such a line as you posted and solve it. I’ll see if I can create some very brief ones, and we’ll see how you and the others can do.
ETA: Enginerd, correct on 510(b)!
“Daydream Believer,” the Monkees
“Please Come to Boston,” Dave Loggins
“Summer Breeze,” Seals and Crofts
Polycarp, you’re fast! Yes, all correct!
Let’s try some short, but familiar, lyrics:
(a) That is not employment; that is the manner in which you are employed…
(b) Overall, it would seem to me that you are just another construction component in the barrier.
© Expressing physical affection in the verdant growth to the rear of the gathering place where athletic contests take place.
(d) This evening is the evening.
a) Money for Nothing - Dire Straits
b) Another Brick in the Wall - Pink Floyd
c) Brown-Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
d) Tonight’s the Night - Neil Young
(b)“All in all, it’s just another bric in The Wall.” (Pink Floyd)
(c)“Makin’ love in the green grass behind the stadium.” (Brown Eyed Girl, Van Morrison)
(d)“Tonight’s the night” (Rod Stewart) or “Tonight won’t be just any night”, from West Side Story
Sticking with Spoons idea:
a) In my field of view, a portal scarlet portal is present. I’d prefer to change the hue to absorb as much visible light as possible.
b) Overhead vistas created by Rayleigh scattering of solar radiation in the atmosphere seem to be expressing their approval of my current situation.
c) Soon after sunrise, but before I had risen for the day, I was pondering the effects of time upon her appearance, especially the color of her coiffure.
d) Having exchanged all my gambling chits for actual money, I’m continuing down the road.