Vermin Robinson For Congress

[cheddarsnax]

Who is Vermin Robinson? That’s an easy question:

I am pro-Constitution, pro-national sovereignty, pro-military, pro-veteran, pro-growth, pro-business, pro-property rights, pro-marriage, pro-adoption, pro-farmer, pro-school choice, pro-states’ rights, pro-religious freedom, pro-Pledge of Allegiance, pro-death penalty, pro-gun, and pro-life.

Sounds good to me! But what about hollywood elitists? The other candidates haven’t taken a strong position on the issue; have you, Mr. Robinson?

Are these people on drugs? (Oops. I should know better than to ask that question about these people.)

I for one am sick of these Hollywood elitists. I think the Motion Picture Association of America should add a new movie rating to go along with the G, PG, PG-13, and R. A new rating of T for “Treason” would mean that all of the actors in this movie have given aid and comfort to the enemy in wartime and have interfered with the military operations of the United States.

Finally, someone willing to take a stand. This issue appears above Education on Vermin’s issues page. Looks like he has his priorities straight.

How about women in the military? Surely he has a rational position on that issue:

I will also introduce legislation directing the Department of Defense to restore its ban on women in combat. I will name the bill after the two toddlers who were needlessly orphaned when their mother, Miss Lori Piestewa, was dispatched to Iraq to topple Saddam Hussein’s Republican Guard.

Guess not.

Well, how about the Clinton years?

Surely the low point of any discussion of modern politics would be the part where one must explain that President Bill Clinton is both a serial rapist (if one believes the credible testimony of Juanita Broaddrick) and a serial adulterer.

Sharpton?

The media will no longer be able to pretend that race hustling poverty pimps like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton speak for all black people. I want the liberals to squirm because they can’t call me a racist.

Dare I ask about gays?

I will always fight for what’s right and you will always know where I stand. After Senator Rick Santorum was attacked by the militant homosexual lobby, most of his fellow Republicans hid under their desks and said “no comment” when the reporters called. I am one of the few Republican elected officials who publicly defended Santorum.

I assure you I will not bow to the forces of political correctness on social issues. I will vigorously oppose homosexual marriages and adoptions, as well as “gay” Scoutmasters. God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

And isn’t this the same Vermin Robinson who ran an ad attacking his opponents for being too gay-friendly? Some of the more colorful moments:

HOST: This episode of Congressional Jeopardy is paid for by Vernon Robinson for Congress. Today’s topic – homosexual rights! This feminist voted to create special rights for homosexuals and took money from the radical gay PACs.

HOST: Oh no, I’m sorry. We were looking for Senator Virginia Foxx. Virginia Foxx did that. As a Wake Forest Trustee, this bankrupt businessman let two lesbians get married in broad daylight in the campus church.

HOST: You are correct! This other bankrupt businessman brags that he’s a tolerant Republican - a code word for gay-friendly. As an Appalachian State Trustee, he let the school sponsor a transvestite drag show.

CONTESTANT 3: [Rings in] Ugh. Who is Ed Broyhill?

Ugh, indeed.

[Jurhael]

It’s fitting as hell that his name is “Vermin”.

[cheddarsnax]

@Jurhael

It’s fitting as hell that his name is “Vermin”.

I should note that his real name is Vernon.

[Jurhael]

OH NO! I thought his name actually WAS “Vermin”.

AHAHAHAHAHH!

[capacitor]

Don’t laugh. A lot of people, Black people in particular, favors the things that he is running on.

Some people in my family would think he is neo-Communist.

[Reeder]

His hero is Roy Moore of Alabama.

He installed his own ten commandments statue in the Wiston Salem city hall on a holiday when no one else was around.

It was removed.

[LilShieste]

Vermin says…
Thanks to Ronald Reagan, Bush 41, and Bush 43, America is now beyond a shadow of a doubt the most secure she has ever been in all of her 225 years as a nation.

Yup… everytime I check CNN’s website, or watch the news on my TV, I never expect to see another 9/11 happening. I feel perfectly safe. :smack:

Other gems:

Because the Democrats defunded the intelligence community in the wake of the Cold War, the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack was not detected and averted.

:rolleyes:

That cowboy President Bush supports it, so it must be bad. Let the United Nations handle it. It will be another Vietnam. We are going to isolate ourselves in the eyes of the world. We will be embroiled in a quagmire for ten years. Hussein will kill a hundred thousand American troops. Half a million children will die of starvation and bombs. Nobody wants us over there.

Well, we certainly haven’t lost 100,000 troops, but… he seems pretty convinced that all the rest is pure fantasy. I would do another rolleyes, but my eye sockets are sore from the harsh eye-rolling regarding the previous statement.

This guy reminds me of a representative Missouri has (or maybe had… I will have to check), named Bubs Hohulin. I feel your pain, North Carolina.

LilShieste