Victim of a Vengence Poo!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Cat, I pit thee! (in MPSIMS)

And no, the offender wasn’t FatCat. He has far too much class to commit such a vulgar act. He flushes the toilet to make a statement; he does not go to the toilet to express his consternation.

It was LittleCat! LittleCat the malicious, vindictive, “love me or endure my wrath” fiend! The villainous rapscallion, cloaked in grey velvet, who passive-aggressively shat on the cute, little rug from Ikea.

(Whether or not it was also intended as a comment on tatty, Swedish, home decor, is unkown.)

Yes, it was that skinny evildoer! Born in the bowels of junkyard machinery, raised on field-mice, roadkill, and donuts, and rescued by a naïve Crayons who never suspected that the orange blob-shape on her head is the mark of the Devil.

Yes, it was she with the dragon-breath ass! One before whom Dante himself would tremble in fear having met no other creature so foul during his visit to the netherworlds. For the conniving, dastardly beast’s butt can cause the solar system itself to curl up into a cosmic fetal position from the poisonous gas that emmanates forth. And her steaming solids can sunder mountains with their unmerciful stench of abomination!

Yes, it was the dreaded enfant terrible who vented her rage with sadistically putrid turds – so carefully cultivated in her fetid bowels until they ripened to rancid perfection – launched gleefully onto my rug with the accompanying redolence of fire and brimstone.

With depraved indifference to human senses she unleashed her mephitic doo-doos on the rug that is my welcome mat – oh, I know the irony was intentional!

I was warned. “Crayons,” said Sniffs_Markers, “you’ve been away from your apartment a lot this week. Won’t LittleCat be upset? She might poo!”

I came home, set down my bag, and said “I’ll be back! I just have to get you guys some cat food!”

The infernal creature of darkness waited not a moment to drop the sulphurous bounty of her bung-hole. It was still warm when I returned.

She is evil incarnate! Her vengence is boundless! Her rage can not be measured!

She is hiding. She saw me cleaning up and hid under the bed, lest she get in shit (and that’s not a pun!) She will have to come out eventually. I will catch her. She will know my fury…

2

Hee hee. Cats are awful that way. My husband yelled at our cat Molly for something once, and the next time I walked through the bedroom I saw that she had left a single poo on his pillow. Right in the center. Like a mint.

3

Not all cats. FatCat would never do such a thing! My previous cat was motified when my mom accidentally locked him in her room and he had an accident. (He sat in front of it while we cleaned it up, looking so remorseful that it brought tears to our eyes – his whiskers were even drooping in sadness for what he’d done.)

But this one… This vindictive hellspawn! She has no qualms! She. Will. Punish. You. She will release her festering vengence upon your rug.

Why she once pooped in my Santa hat because I was spending too much time at Markers’s!

The skinny cat shat on my mat!
The little cat shat in my hat!
Why, oh why, do I put up with that???

4

LMAO! MsTree does that too!

However she manufactures (kitty-factures?) stealth pee. I had picked her up for loves–she HATES being pick up and cuddled–too many times one week and also forgot to fold and put away my laundry. I was just taking things out of the “clean” basket and going to work. I was sitting at work and about 11am started smelling “something”.

:confused: Couldn’t place it. Looked around my office searching for the smoke I smelt. No smoke. :confused:

No-one else smelled anything. 20 minutes later I realize that 1) I am the source of the smell & 2) it must be feline urine. The good news is that I am away from everyone else at work anyway in my little office. The bad news is that I do have a bionic sense of smell.

4 more hours of the smell getting stronger as my clothes warmed with the day and my body. Confirmed with MrCoffee when I got home. Looked over at MsTree. She gives me that “I showed you” expression.

The really sad thing is I didn’t learn my lesson for **4x! ** :rolleyes: I find her SOOOOOO cute! I Just want to “hug her and pet her and name her George” all the time. No pix yet. But she looks like Butch’s cat from the WB cartoon.

5

LMFAO!!! Cats…

6

Coffee – Good heavens! A “Stealth Pee”??? How vile!!! Neither FatCat nor LittleCat pee outside the box unless they are sick.

LittleCat however, still quasi-feral, is terrified of strangers. When dragged out from under the bed and presented to a Stranger-Monster for a pet (we’re trying to socialize her a bit better), she counters with her nefarious Defensive Fear Farts [sup]TM[/sup]!

Lethally toxic!

7

While lots of people think it’s awfully cute for an animal to be “revenge” shitting and peeing all over the place, if I had kids and especially young children, failing a medical reason for such behavior, that “revenge shitting” and peeing cat would be on the express train to the pound.

Animal feces can be a transmission vector for all sorts of nasties, and I have been in homes where people thought cat shit and cat pee “accidents” outside the box were just part of the daily mix, and literally had no idea how incredibly foul their houses smelled. There were obvilious to the stench and some even had little toddlers. Some people just become inured to these environments becasue they have parsed the cat shit vs health equation and the cats won. It’s unspeakably vile and disgusting.

8

Oh, please Astro! We’re talking about a very rare occurence. Yes, toxoplasmosis (from exposure to cat feces or hey, eating unwashed vegetables) can kill you, particularly if you have a weakened immune system. However, most people are pretty damn thorough when it comes to cleaning up any pet accidents.

I have no kids, but I can assure you, they’d probably be rolling in more feces playing in the local park. Even after it’s been “scooped”, it’s not like people wipe down the grass with bleach after their dogs crap. One pet accident and I’m disinfecting stuff like crazy. Next time you’re sitting on the ground, leaning up against a tree with your book, ask yourself how many dogs have peed there that very day.

Responsible pet owners clean up after their pets. Responsible pet owners also know that if your pet is refusing to use the box on a regular basis, then you should get your pet to the vet, pronto!

I’ve had LittleCat for four years. She has vengence pooped only twice. Both times she was under a fair amount of duress. They are amusing stories because they are so rare.

If FatCat doesn’t make an appearance most people don’t even realize I have pets. The litter box is out of sight and silicone litter plus charcoal filters makes it pretty much odorless. So no! I’m not living in a urine-soaked dump!

Get rid of the cat after a very rare abherration in her behaviour? I’ll remember that the next time my friend’s kid reaches into his diaper and spread his own poo along her walls four the fourth time.

9

Yet another example of why ANIMALS BELONG OUTSIDE!

10

And my wolf hybrid, Zen, would have eaten that “mint.” He thinks they’re bon bons. I guess he must figure that if he can’t eat the cat, the leavings will have to do.

11

Am I the only one who’s noticed there seems to be a lot more shitting on threads lately? And I don’t mean like the Vengence Poo, or Lieu’s “Tales from the Toidy”. I’m talking about friendly threads that suddenly get dumped on by some indignant outrage that really wasn’t necessary.

You can’t tell any humourous tale anymore without someone to come by and scold you in disgust.

You could say something as innocent as “my baby had her first ice cream” and someone would surely pounce on it and say with heartfelt outrage “how can you call yourself a good parent when you are paving the way to obesity?”

You could say “I tripped on my dog – slapstick comedy ensued!” And you"d hear “your dog is a menace, you could have been killed! I’d have him put down if I was in your place.”

I was considering making this a pit thread, but I’ve grown too weary of this to even be angry anymore. So any such pit thread would totally be lacking the necessary bite. I guess that’s the point of these little snarks – to deflate.

You’d think I’d be inured to it by now, seeing as I’m clearly inured to shit. But that tone always ruins the jovial mood.

Cheers!

I’ll try not to let the door hit me on the way out, and if I return from hiatus, I’ll try to remember the pie… 2337