Don't watch me frigg'in Piss!!!!

Good Holy God I cannot stand when people watch me Piss. Why the fly’in fuck do people feel the need to watch me Micturate…Even the Goddamn CAT!!!

I was at the Mother-in-laws house the other day and went to the bathroom. (which is right next to the kitchen full of people) and I started to Piss when I realized it simply wouldn’t come out… What the fuck?! I noticed, to my left was their fuck’in little fur ball staring at me dick…I could not for the life of me squeeze a drop out with that thing staring at me… So I tucked myself back in, grabbed the little tabby by the scruff and proceeded to throw it out the door and down a few stairs (nothing bad…it landed on its feet) Then I went back into the bath and started to piss again when my wife walked in and shut the door.

“What the hell was that sweety?” she said “you just threw the cat down stairs and pissed my mom off…what are you doing?”

Mean while I am standing there dick in hand still not able to piss with her staring at me and yelling at me… getting quite mad, not at her mind you, but at the fact that I could not piss… So I non-chalantly asked her to leave, walked her to the door. Shut said door and proceeded to take my piss which was long over due.
And just then SON OF A FUCKING BITCH THE FUCKING CAT was back in the bathroom (must have slipped in when my wife opened the door) up on the counter watching me piss. Luckily I was mid stream and gravity took over so I didn’t pinch it off.

Why the hell does this happen to me? Does anyone have this problem as well, can anyone else not stand to be watched whilst taking a leak? Am I some sort of freak where I can’t sweeze a drop if someones eyes are watching? I had to put this in the Pit because of the language I felt I needed to use, but there is a question here as well, so I hope it stays…

So lemme get this straight-you threw a cat down the stairs because it was starring at you?


Cats stare at everyone. They’re curious.

Get over yourself.


You threw a cat down stairs because it was staring at your dick.

You are a schmuck who seems to have some weird issues that you punished a cat for.



My cat stares at me when I pee, too. He comes in the bathroom and rubs up against my legs. During campaign season it’s one of the few times I’m #1 still and #2 not wearing anything he can’t shed on. If it bothers me, I put him in the bathtub, where he amuses himself with the drip until I’m done.
I don’t throw him down the damn stairs.

Plenty of people have the same problem. Not too many of them take it out on a cat, though.

What, were you afraid he was laughing at you because his was bigger?

Hell, my cats sit on my LAP when I use the toilet.

:confused: :eek: no one understands my morose for not being able to pee with someone watching me…

I appologized to the cat after I left the bath, I appologized to my mother-in-law. I did not throw the cat very far, and the cat was fine…

GEEZ!!! I’m a grown man I understand that I should be teaching a better moral lesson for my kids (hypothetical kids) and I definitely should not be pissing of the in laws…but I have a serious problem here…I am not a cat abuser, but I don’t like being watched…!!!

Andros --> :eek: :mad: :rolleyes:

Then see a therapist. Your reaction does not strike me as normal. To be bothered for a moment is one thing; to be bothered for more than a moment about it looks like a problem to me.

:shrug: Sorry, cap’n. If this is a problem you wish to resolve, the first step is to chill out about it. You definitely won’t be able to drain the lizard when you’re worked up enough to huck your mother-in-law’s cat.

Oooh! Pretty colors!

Whassa matter, Phlosphr . . . cat got your tongue?

Bah. Cats are evil little hellspawn, and they do it to be annoying. Mine’s made a career of it.

It’s not an uncommon problem. Lots of menfolks get edgy when they’re being eyeballed while urinating.

Cite? Umm…no. It’s at least common enough for several comedians to have done routines about it…does that count?

I don’t know that it excuses having tossed the furry little terrorist down the stairs, but it’s not necessarily a matter of getting over oneself.

Hastur-> You do not mind being watched whilst you take a leak? No big deal huh? I am a little different. I can not stand it… I don’t need to see a therapist however. I just need to pee alone… I do not think that is anything out of the ordinary. I was trying to be a little funny…Andros got it…

My cats also come into the bathroom when I take a bath or a shower.
Next time, follow Kitty to the litter box and watch him do his business.
There-you’re even.

D’uh, cats are annoying. Mine are the spawn of Satan.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way!

He’s pee-shy. Lots of guys are, including me. I’ll give up a urinal to wait for a stall. I can’t stand peeing when there’s someone next to me out in the open. I can deal with cats though.

One of my cats, apparently fascinated by the sound of splashing water, once stood up and put his paws on the edge of the toilet so he could see better. I almost pissed on his head.:eek:

Jesus, you guys are pussies. Why don’t you sit down to piss, so nobody can eyeball your shrivelled gear?

Are you looking at my dick? I can’t go if you’re lookin’! Don’t look at my diiiick!

Wassamatter? Are you afraid the guy next to you is going to laugh at your tiny junk? Is the cat gonna think your unit’s a kind of hairless mouse? Don’t shake it too hard, he might try to catch it.

Next time you spot anyone looking at your little willy, threaten to piss in their fucking eye. That goes for the cat, too.

Ummm . . . I guess andros got it. Whatever there was to get. But I think you overreacted in a huge way. Christ, how long have you been married? The very first thing I learned was not to piss off my mother-in-law. That’s just foolish.

Bwahahahaha… I’m sorry, but this was one of the funniest stories I’ve read all day. I didn’t mean to laugh at your pain.

And did you actually launch the cat down the hall, or just pick it up and put it down a little further away?