Video games that would NEVER see the light of day

[ForumBot]

@Derleth

Dope Wars.There are people who would play this game.

I played it in high school. It was pretty popular with the band kids (not that I was one) and a pretty fun little distraction. Pretty hollow gameplay come to think of it, though.

Trickle Down: watch as tax cuts for the wealthy work their way down to you, as the coorporate CEO buys an extra car that needs to be washed that supports the owner who hires more employees who buy more videogames who support the best buy clerk! The excitement never stops!

[tonedef]

@Queen of the Felines

Goatse: The Game

Did that take a fair stretch of the imagination to come up with that?

@furryman

Reminds me of that parody of Deer Hunter I saw awhile back where the deer hunt the humans.

I pretty sure that was actually made by the people who made dear hunter!

@Hypno-Toad

2.Porno-Tycoon! Write, cast, and direct your own “sophisticated” films.

Thats a real game. It’s call porn manager. I have it on my mobile phone.

[Sock_of_Doom]

Defenestration
See how many things you can throw out a window! Watch them hit the ground!

[control-z]

@Argent Towers

Goon - you play as one of the anonymous, generic, armored goons in a typical FPS that the hero has to kill hundreds of. You’re probably wearing a gas mask or a ski mask, since the programmers never seem to want to make individual face models for the enemies in FPSs and so they use the mask cop-out. Watch as dozens of your comrades get slaughtered, and try as hard as you can to kill the lone hero, who for some horribly unfair reason has 60 times as much health as you do and is able to carry nine weapons on his person.

The one advantage that you have is that you never run out of ammunition. Because bad guys in shooters NEVER run out of ammunition. I have never played a single FPS where the enemies could run out of ammo.

I think that game has been made, it’s called TIE Fighter.
I’m pretty sure they can run out of ammo on Operation Flashpoint. And probably the Rainbow Six games.

[furryman]

@tonedef

I pretty sure that was actually made by the people who made dear hunter!

Dear Hunter: Hunt down your wife and killl her before she reports you for abuse.

[Cemetery_Savior]

[ol]
[li]For the Wii: Preparation H Applicator. Available in Soothing Menthol Gel or 'Extra Numbing"! [/li][li]Guitar Hero: Classical Symphonic Arrangements[/li][li]Insurance the Game: Contract Parity Review (also comes with bonus pack Explaining Deductibles)[/li][/ol]

[Gary_Robson]

[ul]
[li]Bagpipe Hero! and there’s only one volume setting…[/li][li]Spam King. Can you design new spam to bypass the filters? Keep your servers on the move to avoid retribution? Sell off your list-building tools for a little extra cash? Integrate the latest worm in your plans (the more zombies, the more spam!)?[/li][li]Troll Wizard. Kind of the opposite of Tristan/s idea. You wander through a maze of message boards, trying to disrupt as many as possible in a short time without being caught by the mods. Can you drop the signal-to-noise ratio so far that members of unmoderated boards just give up?[/li][li]Logger. This time it’s personal! Try to keep your logging operation running and profitable while you track down those environmentalists and get them off your backs … forever.[/li][li]War of the Worlds II. Those Martian invaders are back, and this time they’re inoculated against Earthly diseases. The only thing they missed? Human sperm! Can you hunt down and hump all of the Martians before they kill off our whole planet? Your world is counting on you![/li][/ul]

[Cervaise]

@furryman

Dear Hunter: Hunt down your wife and killl her before she reports you for abuse.

Rockstar Games presents: Women’s Shelter Massacre.

[shy_guy]

@thelurkinghorror

They should make a MarioPaint style game where you play as Hitler. If you make good art, you go to success as the greatest German painter. Fail, and you become dictator.

Is it weird that I can totally see this as an Elite Beat Agents scenario? Set that shit to Rock Me, Amadeus or whatever and you’re all set. Fail the mission and you see Hitler commanding the Nazi hordes.

[control-z]

@InvisibleWombat

[ul]
[li]War of the Worlds II. Those Martian invaders are back, and this time they’re inoculated against Earthly diseases. The only thing they missed? Human sperm! Can you hunt down and hump all of the Martians before they kill off our whole planet? Your world is counting on you![/li][/ul]

Ooh, are the Martians hot? Boom chicka bow bow!
I can see some web game designer reading this thread and thinking "Wow, some of these ideas are pure gold!

[Potato_Pancakes]

@Pithy Moniker

Kazoo Hero
Square Dance Revolution
Mortal Kooperation
This could be addictive.

Thank you for reminding me of this:

Activision Reports Sluggish Sales For Sousaphone Hero

[drachillix]

@DJ Motorbike

Online Invoicing: The Game!.

Little did you know you were telecommuting as a billing clerk for free.

[Kamino_Neko]

@Cemetery Savior

For the Wii: Preparation H Applicator. Available in Soothing Menthol Gel or 'Extra Numbing"!

What’s that you say?

[Lumpy]

@Cemetery Savior

For the Wii: Preparation H Applicator. Available in Soothing Menthol Gel or 'Extra Numbing"!

Combine this with the Wii version of Asshunter! :eek:

[Pithy_Moniker]

Granny Turismo - Choose from a wide variety of Lincolns, Cadillacs, Buicks and Oldsmobiles!

Courses include the Grocery Store Dash. Can you make it there and back before General Hospital comes on?

Also includes the weekly Church’n’back Rally. Defeat rivals Olene, Ethel, and Lucille in the Sunday cup. First prize is the parking spot closest to the door and the pew under the air conditioning vent!

[Lust4Life]

How about …NECRODUDE?

You’re a necrophiliac who has to evade law enforcement agencies,family members and members of the public to shag corpses.

You get extra points for freshness and if you can manage to bone the stiff before internment then you get a bonus.

Obviously you use up energy digging bodies up and have to watch out for teenage gangs holding parties in cemetries.

Your’e also in competition with other necrophiliacs and Satanists.
It might just catch on with the "Grand Theft Auto "crowd.

[killer_flying_monkey]

@Airman_Doors_USAF

I came in here to say exactly that.

Rapist: You Are The Attacker. You can attempt to make the argument that it’s already been done with Custer’s Revenge, but there’s a pretty vast difference between cheesy pixelated Atari 2600 graphics and today’s uber-detailed games.

hey that was my idea:mad::mad::mad:

[JR_Brown]

@Airman_Doors_USAF

I came in here to say exactly that.

Rapist: You Are The Attacker. You can attempt to make the argument that it’s already been done with Custer’s Revenge, but there’s a pretty vast difference between cheesy pixelated Atari 2600 graphics and today’s uber-detailed games.

Unfortunately, there is a Japanese video game that is more or less exactly this. IIRC, it’s called RapeLay. There’s a hysterical and NSFW review on Something Awful somewhere (called “Horrors of Hentai” or something like that).

[Lynn_Bodoni]

Zombie thread. Closed.

Lynn
For the Straight Dope

[Jamicat]

VIVA LA FRANCE - French Military Simulator

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html