Umm, anyone else experiencing SHRINKAGE?!
I’m just hoping that whoever’s doing that with their foot is female. Oh? That’s you? I beg your pardon. Yes, you are most definitely female. Beyond a shadow of a doubt. Yes, you may continue.
Garçon! A root brewski on the rocks, s’il vouz plait!
I was, erictelevision, the warm water helped alot. I’d show you, but I’m not sure which side of the pool your sitting on… if-you-know-what-I-mean.
LMFAO @ SiXSwords.
I am impressed with you Kizarvexius. You are most definitely invited to my next party!
The fact I’m saving space 4 cosmo should clue you in. (I’m a RAGING heterosexual)
Horseflesh, if that offer of a massage is still open, I’ll take it. It’s been a lousy day, and I could sure use a massage, a soak, and a promise that tomorrow will arrive late. So, anyone here got “Red Roses for a Blue Lady” or anything else to cheer a girl up?
CJ
Misstee: Why, thank you ma’am. If all of your parties are as, er, um, stimulating as this one, I’d be a fool to miss out. I’ve been to many social gatherings where the feminine companionship was friendly and intelligent, but I don’t believe I’ve ever before had the unique pleasure of of attending a party where the feminine companionship was friendly, intelligent, and naked. I must’ve found a dimension door to paradise.
If the orchestra is rested and ready, I’ll give you all a couple of tunes from Il Nozze de Figaro.
Kizarvexius, up until about a year ago, I had the privilege of attending a great many parties where both the men and women were like that, then the people who threw them moved to Maine. The real life version may be even better! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I intend to become relaxed, semi-concious, and thoroughly naked!
CJ
<hijack> What’s the gender/state of dress breakdown so far?
<puff, puff> Here you go, Kizarvexius, a hot tea w/lemon and the root beer you’ve been craving. You were parched, weren’t you?
Those massages are the real deal, Siege. Would you rather have one from a fledgling cabana steward, or intertwines fingers and flexes outward one from a three time gold medalist in Olympic massaging (2 medals from the sport, 1 from the Swedish judge in person)? We’ve got all flavors of massage oils to choose from, including hot cinnamon, banana, strawberry, and watermelon. Should I start at the feet, the head, or the middle and work my way outward?
Hey. Just here cos Siege suggested it. Don’t mind me. nice to meet y’all.
i’ll just be over here.
::a bottle of rum and a dead man’s chest for ArrMatey::
Always room for pirates! Invite the rest of your crew in and we’ll go diving for buried treasure. You’re curse-free, right?
I didn’t know we were watching our language here.
erictelevison, I am female, without suit on.
(((((Kizarvexius))))
Horseflesh, I’ve had many massages by amateurs, and only one by a professional. There’s no contest; the amateurs win. I am also a firm believer in not interfering with people who know where they’re doing. Start anywhere you like.
A-a-a-h!
CJ
I think I’m dying. I’ve been in here for about a week and haven’t consumed anything but Rumple Minze and cheesy poofs. My skin is wrinkled and I can’t feel my penis. And Floofy is nowhere to be seen.
But that’s okay because I love you guys. 
Totally curse-free, well, except for the full moon, but never ye mind about that!
Bottle of rum, check!
Plenty of water, check!
Now I just need me a lusty wench and a treasure map, and I’m good to go!
Well, ArrMatey!
Since I’m hiding out from real life here in the hot tub, how about I draw you a map to me, and then you can get your hidden treasure and your lusty wench all in 1 nice package?
Siege, I’ve always been an amateur masseuse. They didn’t allow pros from the massage disciplines in the Olympics back when I was in them. Besides, how could I possibly ask for money for doing something as enjoyable as this? I think I’ll start with a scalp and temple massage, then we’ll get out the floating table and work on your shoulders and back. Let me know if I miss any spots. You didn’t mention which oil you’d like, so we’ll try a little of each. You’ll be a Fruit Rollup before you know it.
That’s the spirit ArrMatey! Plenty o’ lusty buxom wenches to choose from here. No need for a treasure map though, we’re surrounded by the untold riches of Doper company and conversation! You can keep the eyepatch on, but the rest of your scurvy rags should be tossed over the side. The parrot needs to go to. The no poop rule is still in effect.
< I just couldn’t resist >
I can feel your penis just fine
< I just couldn’t resist >
I love you, too Qazzz, and all the other dopers here !
@>------------
If I may be so bold, a rose for Misstee, our esteemed (and oh, so fetching) hostess. Please don’t ask where I had it stowed. Suffice to say I’m very glad the thorns were carefully pruned. And thanks for the hugs, even if I did have to use the ice cubes from my root beer to regain a state of decency. Not that I’m complaining, but even the thought of being pressed up against by such magnificient bare brea---- ahem. Even the thought of a friendly hug from a gorgeous and witty female (while in a mutual state of undress) is almost more than I can take (why yes, it has been a while, thank you very much).
And thank you ever so kindly for the libations, Horseflesh. Much obliged. I don’t suppose I might put in a request for some more solid refreshment? I was about to step out for a bite when I realized that my exit would cause the water level to drop considerably, resulting in a general lessening of everyone else’s comfort. I’ll quite understand if my request proves inconvenient.